


Vir Assan

by ThePirateQueenAngel



Series: Vir Tanadhal [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Ancient Elf in Thedas, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Divergence, Dragon Age Quest: Protect Clan Lavellan, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, F/M, Flashbacks to Elvhenan, Grief/Mourning, I'm Bad At Tagging, My First Fanfic, Other, Platonic Soulmates, Romance, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Spoilers, Trespasser compliant, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-28
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2018-09-02 21:57:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 47,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8684926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePirateQueenAngel/pseuds/ThePirateQueenAngel
Summary: This story follows Andriani, skilled huntress and the Chosen of Andruil. She was guided into Uthenera after the death of Mythal, to be awakened in a few hundred years. But due to the fall of Elvhenan, she was discovered thousands of years later by scouts from a nearby Dalish clan, still asleep in the crumbling remains of an ancient temple, overgrown and long forgotten.She recovers among the misguided Dalish and is enraged at the plight of what remains of The People.  When the time comes for someone to travel to the fast-approaching Conclave, Andriani volunteers to make the journey, and stumbles into events leading to the rebirth of the Inquisition.As she grows into her role as Inquisitor, she agonizes over hiding her identity from the people she has come to care about and her growing feelings for Solas, knowing his role in the current state of the world and his involvement in the fate of the one she loved most.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first fic, and I honestly have no idea where I'm going with this but I just really need to get it out of my head.  
> Please be gentle with me.
> 
> Like the tag says, it is Canon Divergent but does follow the main path of Inquisition, and contains tons of spoilers for the main game and Trespasser!  
> I didn't want to tag alot of specific stuff, so I'll make notes of things in relevant chapters (smut, fluff, trigger warnings, etc.) as I go!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three years before the Inquisition, two Dalish scouts discover a long forgotten temple in the middle of the forests of the Free Marches. Their shock of what they discover inside, sends them running for their Keeper. What will it mean for The People?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **The first few chapters are going through some light edits, I'm sorry if people subscribed get emails due to this!**

 ~~~ _Inside a Temple devoted to Andruil, Ancient Elvhenan~~~_

 

 "I don't understand Andruil, what is happening, why are-"

"You do not need to understand, ma da'assan. You will obey me, even if I have to force you." she said coldly, though the wild expression of her eyes betrayed her, there was pain mixed with defeat. A look she had never seen before on her leader, it made her more afraid than the words that stung her down to her soul. Andruil never forced Riani to do anything, she was the only one safe from the woman's growing ire, save for Ghilan'nain.

Riani remembered the shocking experience of fighting her way into the temple they now stood in, a temple that was once her place of peace. She had been surrounded by the overwhelming smell of ozone and blood. The clanging sound of metal clashing against metal and spells raining down around her from every direction, the shouting of the Sentinels could barely be heard over the chaos. But Riani had cared for none of it. All she could think of was that she was separated from part of her soul, of not being able to protect the huntress. 

"Nas'falon, I beg of you, do not do this, You have already lost Ghilan'nain, I will not leave you!" her bow threatened to splinter from the force of her grip as she clutched it at her side with one trembling hand, tears streaming unbidden down her freckled cheeks.

"That is why you _must_. I need you to be at your strongest for whatever may come next. This battle is different, I feel it as I know you do. _Please_ Andriani, you must sleep now. Do this for me." She was practically begging her at this point, staring her down with the wild golden eyes that she had loved throughout her life. Even as Andruil declined into madness, she would know them anywhere.  

She never used Riani's full name, Andriani. Friend of Andruil. How could she ask her to accept this? To sleep now? Her entire world revolved around protecting the huntress. A world that was quickly crashing down around them, she was right, it was different this time.

Even though she knew it would not help, her eyes flashed with rage at being forced into this, she was too stubborn to admit that Andruil was right.

"Ir abelas, in this I cannot obey you, I will not!".

It was only then that she noticed the young slave girl staring at the pair and trembling, eyes wide in disbelief that anyone would defy the mighty and mad Andruil.  It was true that anyone else may have been struck down for less, but none know her like she did. Riani's temper was a match for the huntress' own, and at the thought of being made to enter Uthenera against her will, and leave her to... to what? Why?

The feeling that there was something she had  forgotten, something that was being hidden from her nagged at the back of her mind. It was on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn't speak it, the heavy fog thick in her mind, like trying to recall a dream right after waking, but it slipped away.

The most irritating of spellcraft, and it was undoubtedly a spell of the Huntress' own devising. She would only ever use it on Riani to protect her from something terrible, something she felt that she would be safer not knowing. But what?

"Andruil... what have you done?" her eyebrows raised, eyes staring up at the taller woman coldly. "Why can I not remember?" Andruil looks down and away from her gaze, before speaking.

"There was no other way to make sure you are protected from his vengeance." She took a deep breath before continuing. "Mythal was... we have slain her. You are innocent and I would see you safe. if something happens to me- I just.. You will not remember." Riani was frozen in shock at the revelation of the gravest crime in Elvhenan. To murder an Evanuris- it was unheard of.  One such as the All-Mother, no less. She was vaguely aware of being pulled into an embrace, her head cradled against Andruil's shoulder. _When did I start crying again?_

"If something happens to you? What are- what are you..." Her mind was becoming increasingly foggy and it was making it hard to speak, the last thing she heard was Andruil's heartbroken voice in her ear.

"We will be together again in a few centuries, but for now I need you safe. I tried to make it your choice, but I knew that you would fight this. I only hope that you can find it in yourself to forgive me in time, dearest one."

_"Forget."_

 

The crackle of familiar and soothing magic pulsed through the air, followed by a feeling of peace, the Siren's call of the Beyond.

 

Then everything went dark.

                                                 

* * *

 

 

_~~~Forgotten Temple Near the Free Marches, thousands of years later in current Thedas~~~_

 They wandered into the temple from the thick underbrush of the forest outside, almost silent in their steps as all hunters are trained to be. Upon their entrance one of the men let out a low whistle, the view unlike any they had seen before.

"What do you think this was for?"

The handsome silver-haired elf asked his companion aloud in wonder, eyes gazing around the crumbling walls of a ruin they had discovered while scouting ahead for the upcoming departure of the clan. The other elf was just as lost in the scenery before them, too entranced by the walls around them to respond to the question. Both hunters wandered through once elaborate hallways, searching for anything of worth in the obviously forgotten place. Only stopping to light a torch, the depths too dark for even their elven sight.

"You'd think with as many clans pass through here we would have heard of this place, it's in remarkably good condition." he noted, almost sadly.  _Well, good condition for anything of our ancestors left today._

 The blonde elf couldn't help but give an involuntary shiver as they made their way further into the ruin, stopping to light the torches on the walls along their way. They were both silent, so not to disturb any creatures who may have made their home inside.

 "Can you not feel the magic? I don't think we're supposed to know this place exists, Thalion." 

"I don't feel anything, except confused." He shrugged off the feeling, and continued. "Whether we are supposed to or not, this is amazing. I wonder what was kept inside? It must have been important to someone."

He rambled on while they wandered into the next room, the other not noticing that Mahanon had stopped dead in his tracks, throwing out an arm in warning to Thalion as well.

"Mahanon what..." He trailed off, brows furrowing as he followed the other hunters line of sight. They both stared ahead, jaws dropped in awe of what they saw before them. 

In the center of the room was a great wooden bed engulfed in vines that looked like they had been grown there rather than placed. It's headboard was delicately carved into a detailed depiction of a hunt, and the flowing canopy above had faded with time and was riddled with holes. It was obviously older than anything either of them had ever seen, but that wasn't the most shocking thing about the room.

Placed on top of faded silken sheets of a very pale green, was a pale elven woman with wild waves of dark red hair, peacefully sleeping. They carefully approached the her, unable to do anything but stare in shock.

It was obvious to them that she wasn't a wayward traveler lost in the woods, or a runaway city elf. Upon closer inspection of her, they noticed that she was nothing like any elf that they had ever seen.

She was clad in a flowing dark-silvery tunic in a fabric they had no name for, with arm and foot wrappings to match complete with soft leggings of a dark red leather that neither hunter could discern which animal it might have come from. She was also adorned in jewelry finer than anything they had ever seen. She was very pale, and almost seemed to glow in the torch light, as they looked at her face they saw a smattering of freckles across her high cheekbones, her face was peaceful as if it were just a normal night of sleep.

"Who is she?" Mahanon whispered, awestruck and afraid he might wake the sleeping elf. 

"No idea, she is _beautiful_ though, she looks like she is part of this place. But that would make her..." He reached out as if to touch her face, but withdrew it after thinking better of it.

"Elvhen? One of the ones who went to sleep before the fall. But that's impossible, all of the ancient elves are turned to dust by now." He stared at her in disbelief.

"We should go back and tell the Keeper, we can't just leave her in this place. It's a wonder she's survived here for so long." Thalion shook his head, "think of what this could mean, what she might know."

Mahanon snorted a laugh. That was the understatement of the century. The very fact that she was alive, and had probably been asleep for thousands of years throughout everything that had happened... She would be the greatest discovery for The People in a very long time. A living, breathing example of exactly how much had been lost. If they could only wake her up.

"Stay here, just in case." Thalion opened his mouth to protest, but was cut off by Mahanon speaking over him. "Protect her. I'm faster than you. I'll make better time back to camp without you slowing me down, I'll bring the Keeper here." 

 

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

 

     After spending the last hour racing to camp as fast as he could, Mahanon flew through the posted sentries with barely an arm raise in greeting and stormed through in his search for the Keeper. His feet carrying him expertly through the paths between the aravels, makeshift tents and campsites. Out of breath from an equal mixture of excitement and exhaustion, he took a minute to catch his breath near the pens where they kept the halla. 

"On dea, Mahanon." An elven woman with silver hair that matched his own appeared beside him, staring at him strangely. "Ga son?" She raises an eyebrow at him. Upon sight of her, his eyes widened and a wide smile broke out across his face.

"Asa'ma'lin! Thank the Creators, have you seen the Keeper?" He says, standing in front of her exctedly and grabbing her by the shoulders. She just raised an eyebrow again and placed the back of her hand to his forehead.

He swatted it away, and rolled his eyes. "I'm not ill, Ellana, I am excited. Where is the Keeper?"

"You look frantic, are you sure you're alright?" she eyed him over again. "Last I saw her she was with Ruven and his children, why?" 

He hugged her quickly, and without a goodbye he took off toward the aravels at the back of the camp. He rushed inside the one belonging to the clan's craftsman, Ruven. He almost ran straight into the Keeper, who narrowed her eyes at him. "It's rude to run inside an aravel, da'len. Aren't you supposed to be scouting ahead with Thalion?" 

He cast is eyes to the floor at the Keeper's scolding, obviously embarrassed but unable to fully calm down in his excitement. "Ir'abelas, Hahren. I came to inform you of a discovery we made in the forest." He smiled, brightly. "But it's better shown than told, I think. It isan old temple, of _The People._ Thalion stayed behind to guard- what we found within. You are needed there, there is an old magic and we found something we have no idea what to do with."

The Keeper's eyes brimmed with curiosity, but also wariness at what may be inside. Discoveries of ancient elvhen artifacts have rarely been kind to any that have discovered them in the past. The ancients seemed fond of their curses and traps.

"Go and collect your sister, Mahanon. Tell her to bring my staff to me, and I will meet you outside the camp soon. It is indeed a wonder that you didn't get yourself killed in this 'discovery' of yours."

"Thank you, Keeper Deshanna." He said, ignoring the insult and flashing his best smile, "you won't be disappointed."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Ma da'assan- my little arrow  
> Nas'falon- Literally Soul Friend, someone so incredibly close, that it is as if you share a soul.  
> Ir abelas- I am sorry  
> On dea-Good Afternoon  
> Ga son?- Are you well?  
> Asa'ma'lin-Sister  
> Hahren- respected elder
> 
> Most definitions throughout this fic are courtesy of the amazing Project Elvhen by fenxshiral, somethings I randomly found on the internet, or in my own mind.
> 
> Comments, Criticism (Especially this, I love to improve), Kudos, you just want someone to shout with you about how much you love this fandom, hugs, all of it is welcome here. <3
> 
> I really promise, this was my last rewrite of the early chapters, I finally have it how I want it!


	2. Starkness of The Dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hunter scout who finds Andriani runs through the camp seeking the Keeper, excited and scared at the prospect of being the one to make one of the greates discoveries in centuries.  
> Andriani wakes up, with some help and a lot of confusion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I deleted all the chapters starting after the Prologue to make the necessary changes that have taken over.  
> I'm so sorry to those of you who read it before I made all the changes to the story but I'm quite pleased with it. Thank you for reading!

"By Mythal!", was all Keeper Deshanna could say on approach of the ruined temple. 

Mahanon smiled, "I know, it's quite something, isn't it? Wait until you see the inside."

"We must be careful, da'len." Deshanna's eyes were closed and her face was twisted into the familiar expression she always got when she was sensing magic. " The place is covered in ancient and powerful magics, I've never felt anything like it."

As they finally made there way toward Thalion, who was posted just outside the entrance idly fletching arrows until he noticed their approach."About time, there's been no movement inside. She hasn't stirred once, I was almost certain she wasn't breathing until I checked."

 "She?", Deshanna raised an eyebrow at this, "Who is inside?"

Mahanon gestured toward the door to the ruin, "it really is better if you saw for yourself, ha'hren."

The torches were still lit from their earlier venture inside, casting an eerie glow across the entrance chamber and the Keeper drew a sharp intake of breath at the sight. 

Even in the relative darkness, she could see the remarkable beauty that was in this long forgotten place. The walls were covered in elaborate yet faded mosaics, the ceiling above half caved in. Walls covered in a tangle of vines and blooms, wild and overgrown throughout the hall. 

Deshanna runs her fingertips across the walls reverently, as if they were alive and due respect.  From the weathered remains of the mosaics and architecture, she could tell it was once dedicated to Andruil.

 _"_ This place belonged to The Huntress." She stated quietly, continuing her assessment of the mosaics while smiling over at the hunters. "Funny that you should be the ones to come across it."

Mahanon brought his fingertips to his face, lightly tracing his vallas'lin in wonder. He remembered the weeks of agonizing frustration trying to decide which of the Pantheon he would honor when he was sixteen, and the happiness that followed since he had chosen Andruil to pledge himself to. 

After a few more moments of wandering the main hall, they led Deshanna deeper into the ruin, stopping outside the crumbled doorway that led to the large chamber that housed the sleeping elf.

"Through here, ha'hren. This is what we wanted to show you, we don't know what we should do." He walked through the door while gesturing to the room's center. 

Deshanna gasped at the sleeping elf, who hadn't moved an inch since their earlier discovery.

"You found her here, exactly like this?"

"Yes, Keeper. She hasn't moved in any way since Mahanon left to get you, we think she's been here as long as the temple itself. Look at how she is clothed, everything about her is.. different."

Deshanna took a moment to study the woman, the lines across her forehead creasing in concentration. "Her magic is old and she lives, but is in the ancient slumber. I never imagined I'd get to see this." She trailed off in thought.

"She is one of the Elvhen. I can't be certain of just how old, but she is powerful. To be sure- I would need to rouse her from Uthenera."

Mahanon spoke excitedly, "is that even possible?"

"There has been lore passed down on waking from the slumber, no known Keepers have ever had any reason to even attempt it. But... I do not see what harm it could do to try." Deshanna shrugged.

"Not to us, maybe. But what of her?"

"She has survived this long, da'len. In a place of worship to Andruil no less. I would not be surprised if it was the Creators themselves who guided us to her." 

Deshanna took a moment to pray to the Gods, asking for their blessing and guidance in waking the Elvhen woman. When she was ready, she knelt at one side of the bed and took hold of the elf's pale hand. 

"This may take some time."

                         ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

_Cold._

_Wrong, everything feels wrong._

_Am I awake?_

_Why can I not feel you?_

 She could vaguely make out hushed whispers from somewhere nearby, but couldn't make out the words. Another language?

 She opened her eyes.

_Andruil._

Tears sprung from her eyes and a cry burst from her lips, and she felt herself sob. She couldn't feel Andruil in the air, the familiar magic along with her very presence- gone from the world, and that could only mean her death.

  _How long have I been here? Why did you never wake me up?_

 

The more Andriani thought about the last time they spoke, the more angry she became. One of her fists had wrapped itself angrily in the faded silks of the strange bed she awoke in, the other was being held by an aged elven woman. She startled at this, drawing back her hand without taking her eyes off the woman who smiled at her, gently. She had never seen an _old_ elf, not in her thousands of years alive.

"An'daran Atish'an, Da'len." The woman spoke to her slowly.

Andriani raised an eyebrow at her.  _The dialect is unfamiliar, and pronunciation is.. strange. Did she really call me a child? Who is she to speak to me so?_

Looking past the older woman like she hadn't spoken, she took note of the two men who hovered near the door. All three of the strange elves were each marked for different Evanuris' and dressed oddly. Not to mention all of them were staring at her with matching surprised expressions.

 

She would have laughed if it wasn't all so irritating.

 

She decided to herself that these people were no threat to her, and sat up slowly. She placed her feet on the floor as she took a deep, focusing breath. Her eyes wrenched closed as if she could will her tired body to obey.  _Stand up._

She rose to her feet, unable to stop herself from swaying perilously, and cursed at her own weakness. As she tentatively took a step forward and stumbled, three panicked figures rushed forward to help her.

_Oh great Huntress Andriani, Chosen and favorite of Andruil, how the mighty have fallen._

Rolling her eyes at herself and waving off the increasingly worried looking elves, she moved to take another small step and this time, didn't fall over.  _Hooray for Small victories._

It felt wonderful to move her aching limbs, stretching every which way after so many years of stillness. Still pointedly ignoring her audience, she took a step forward and made her way to study the walls of the chamber.

 She felt the ancient magic in the air, could almost taste it now that the haze of sleep was fading. Once-strong enchantments in place protecting this place and hiding it from their foes, were now barely an echo of what would have been a powerful spell. Had she not awoken soon, she would not have survived on her own much longer. The temple would have been exposed, unprotected against anyone who stumbled into it, or left to rot and be as forgotten as this place had obviously become. She shivered at the thought, maybe she had been too quick to dismiss the ones who woke her.

She turned toward the elves -who were still just staring- and sighed deeply before begrudgingly making eye contact with the one who spoke to her before. 

" _I am sorry, without your help I would have died in here."_ She spoke in High Elvhen, which none of the elves looked to understand.

The older woman looked at her with wide-eyed confusion, before speaking to the other two behind her in the strange language she heard while she was waking up. _H_ _ow long have I been asleep?_

 

She turned back to Andriani and introduced herself as Keeper Deshanna, in a confusingly broken mixture of high and low Elvhen. After a few minutes of attempting to communicate with the elves almost unsuccessfully, she let out an impatient huff.

_This isn't working. How do they not understand most of what I'm saying?_

An idea popped into her head and after a moment of deliberation, she gestured for Deshanna to hold out her hand. Placing her hand over it she breathed in deep, suddenly painfully aware that she might not have the strength to do this.

 _Hopefully I'm strong enough for this, but there's_   _no use in not trying. What is the worst that can happen, I fall asleep again?_

At that she shook her head and silently prepares the ( _usually_ ) simple spell. Her hand warmed gently and Deshanna drew in a sharp breath and went still while the two men behind her looked at Andriani nervously, bow hands twitching.

Reaching her other hand out across the space she placed her fingertips to the Keeper's temple, and with a small jump she gasped as the flood of sudden knowledge coursed up through her arm and into her body _._ Overwhelming knowledge of the strange language, rightfully called common for how crude and simple it was compared to her own, flooded into her and she could feel the immense weight of how much time had truly passed.  _So much time._ _It has been at least a few thousand years! Oh Nas'falon, what did you do?_

She ended her spell at this, feeling slightly dizzy and drained but at least still conscious and finally able to communicate. "Thank you, you have been very helpful", she said with new words that rolled curiously off her tongue.

Deshanni looked shocked, "the magic you just used was for learning speech?".

Andriani nodded and gave a small wry smile, "Yes, as fun as it is to not be able to speak to one another, I thought this might be easier for all of us." She looked over to the two hunters behind Deshanni and raised an eyebrow, "Are you two always so silent?" 

At being addressed by the Elvhen woman, the two men looked at one another before they turned back to her and spoke, " I am called Mahanon, and this is Thalion. We were the ones who discovered this place and found you here."

She nodded thoughtfully as she walked toward him, stopping to put a finger under his chin. She gazed over the blood writing on his face, far more simple than the intricate slave markings of her time, what happened to The People? They obviously belonged to Andruil, though far simpler than any other version she had ever seen.

"You are marked for my lady, but I cannot feel her presence." Her eyes fell to the floor as she spoke, as if speaking her worst fear aloud made the pain greater.

_They don't carry themselves like slaves, but why else would they mark their faces?_

Mahanon looked confused and then sad for her, bowing his head. What was this woman to a goddess? "Andruil? Do you not-" He was cut off from an elbow to the ribs from Deshanna, causing him to shift the conversation. He cleared his throat,"who are you?"

She took note of the exchange but didn't comment on it. Realizing for the firwst time that she didn't tell them who she was.

 "My name is Andriani, Chosen and favorite of Andruil, Rajelan of the seventh army of Elvhenas and heir of House Alerion. There are far more titles that I could speak of but I have a feeling they would mean little to you."

When the shock on their faces at her titles was apparent, a jolt of fear traveled down her spine. "How long have I been asleep, that you're staring at me so? Have you truly never heard of me? Even you-" She pointed at Mahanon," -who is marked for my lady?"

He swallowed audibly, "I've pledged myself to the service of The Huntress, my lady." He paused, unsure of how to continue, since she obviously didn't know about the fall. "But the Gods have been silent for thousands of years, locked away by the Betrayer."

_Gods? Of course they would come to be seen as such. But locked away? That would explain why I can't feel her._

"The Betrayer?" She shook her head, not knowing who they meant.

"Fen'Harel, my lady. He tricked the Forgotten Ones and The Creators into being locked away, they remain there even now."

Andriani was lost in thought, and visibly distressed. How could Fen'Harel have done this? Why? He had never showed any interest in anything his kin had done. She knew there was something important that she couldn't remember, and wondered how much time had truly passed, and why she felt so... strangely numb. Like she was cut off from the Fade itself. But that could not be possible, Life without the Fade would be no life at all. _One thing at a time, then._

"Damn you, Andruil. Why would you not let me remember?" She yelled, as she started to pace around the chamber. The feeling of her forgetting something surfaced again, it was like trying to recall a dream. There on the tip of her tongue one moment, but gone in the next. It was maddening.

_Not even memories of my journey through the Fade! Was what happened truly so terrible?_

"She wouldn't have left me to wake defenseless, even if I was protected by magic and attended by her servants." She rambled on to herself as she continued to pace around her chamber, ignoring the looks of the elves following her. "She would have left me... my bow, at least. If I'm lucky, one of my armor sets as well. Which I am obviously not wearing," she sighed looking down at herself and the clothing she woke up in. "Ridiculous really, to put me to sleep in something so _ladylike_." 

She put her fingers to her throat and smiled at the feel of the pendant around her neck, even though she couldn't feel its usual magic.  _At least it's still there._

She moved throughout the room like a hurricane, staring intently as she searched. The state of it's crumbling walls and tarnished floors saddening her, but she couldn't ignore it.

 _It looks even worse in the light,_  she thinks with a tightening heart.

 "Focus Andriani, your bow" She murmured while easily avoiding the traps she would know anywhere for those of Andruil, tricky things. Wards that would bring unimaginable pain to those caught unaware, heavy spell craft weaved into the walls itself that would mean the end of anyone that took a single wrong step.

 "You are all incredibly lucky that you activated none of the traps, or I'd be wandering through your remains right now. Please stay close and do as I do, so we may keep all of your parts attached to your bodies." She shook her head at their dumb luck and ran her log fingers gently across the side of the bed where it met the floor, and followed another faded mosaic under her feet to the wall where it opened to her touch, slowly revealing a simple wooden chest. A gasp came from one of the elves behind her, and they stared over her shoulder to see what was inside. She sighed in irritation, turning to the obviously exited elves. "space, if you please?" they smile sheepishly, and take a few steps back.  _Children._

She turned back to the chest, and to her relief a bow was nestled inside along with its matching quiver, a small dagger and a set of armor. She let out a breath she didn't realize she had been holding as she went through the contents.

  _At least something is left._

The enchantment on the chest has kept everything inside of it very much in-tact, and her eyes threatened to start tearing up again at the sight of what was her favorite bow. It isn't her best, or the most finely crafted, or even the most beautiful of all her bows, but it was the one that was dearest to her. It was a work of art, to be sure. Masterfully crafted by a favored artisan from a pliant wood, light but strong, delicately carved Halla along the sides barely noticeable unless turned  _just_  so.

The armor looked untouched by time and far more intricate than anything found today, if the armor of the ones who found her was indication of modern gear. "Could I have a moment alone? I'd like to change now that I've found my things."

"Of course, we'll wait for you just outside."

"Ma serranas" Andriani added, turning to change.

After armoring herself and throwing on a dark cloak from the bottom of the chest, she placed the bow and quiver on her back, and the dagger in a hidden sheath at her side, prepared now to rejoin the others.

Walking was becoming easier the more she accustomed herself to being vertical again.  She walked out from the chamber, still wondering how they had even made it to her. The temple itself seemed to be fairly simple in its design, but she could feel a wisp of what remained of a powerful spell. A confusion enchantment, of Andruil's own design. Anyone who would have passed by this place, shouldn't have even noticed it was here, finding themselves instead mysteriously turned around or ending up somewhere else without knowing how they arrived there. 

It was well crafted, a testament to whatever was important enough to erect a temple for.  _But what was here, besides me?_

She left the chamber and set out toward the sounds ahead of the other elves. Making a face in annoyance at the obvious disregard for their own safety, she set off down the hallway toward the sounds. The walls were ravaged by time, entire sections and rooms of it were caved in and blocking her from entering, but she found her way through easily enough. Still unsure as to the purpose of the temple itself, with the one room left with anything of note being the one she awoke in.

Andriani went over everything along the way with hawk-like attention, getting more and more confused as to what it is for. There have been no signs of anyone here before now for a very long time, truly desolate, as if hidden and then lost. No pull of ancient magics or strange relics of any import have been left behind, truly _nothing_.

She saw the trio ahead of her, not noticing her coming up behind them. "What part of 'this place is filled with deadly traps' was unclear?".

They stared at her in awe of her armor and weaponry, looking much more deadly than she had upon waking. A painful reminder of the beauty of Elvhenan, a delicate work of craftsmanship that would have taken years to perfect, and went far beyond anything from this time. Her armor was designed to be fluid and graceful, silent and deadly as befit a huntress of her talent. It was made from a combination of rare metals and sumptuous dark leathers from majestic beasts now extinct, crafted into delicate twists and patterns that hugged the curves of her lithe frame.

"Have I been asleep so long that staring is no longer considered rude?" She could feel the annoyed face she must have given them a thousand times by now.

"Ir abelas, but your armor. We've just never seen anything like it. You're a living example of all that we have lost."

"Has truly so much happened? I have so many questions." Andriani thought about the sadness in all their eyes. How different they all looked from the Elvhen she came from, lower cheekbones could be seen under the lines of their markings, as well as thin lips and eyes that don't quite shine in the way they should, it unnerved her. _Is this really what all elves have become?_

Deshanna placed a hand gently on her arm, breaking her out of her thoughts. "Our camp is nearby, we would be honored to have you accompany us there, Mistress Alerion."

"Call me Andriani, you need not speak with such formality to me."

The one called Mahanon opened the door to the temple, letting in the sunlight. Andriani winced as her eyes adjusted to the bright light that she hadn't seen in millennia.

Her attention shifted from the elves, to a spot where the sunlight glinted off of an old mosaic on the wall, catching her eye. The scene was one of the hunt of a massive griffin, and she dusted off a tablet underneath it with what must be the name of the temple.

_Anor'Amelan._

_Place of the Guardian._

She finally realized what -who- this temple was made for, and the shock of it brought her to her knees. Her hands shook with emotion she could feel threatening to overcome her, but she wouldn't let it, not yet. 

Deshanna rushed forward, reaching to help the distressed Elvhen off of the floor. "What is wrong, da'len?"

"This place- it was built for me. Fade above, when did I start crying at everything like a child?" she mumbled, scrubbing at the tears that had escaped. _Since I've apparently become so emotionally fragile, i need to get out of here before i discover anything else that sets me off in front of others._

"Lore does suggest that those who sleep for long periods, do have less control of their emotions- for a time." She smiled gently, helping Andriani off the ground. "How long do you think you have been in slumber?"

"We didn't mark the passage of time in any way that would mean much to you, but it has certainly been.. a very long time." 

she quickly plaited her hair into a messy braid, and gave her armor another once-over to make sure everything was in decent condition. Throwing on the cloak again and taking a deep breath, she gave one more appreciative look around the temple, as if committing the place to memory, before she suggested they make their way outside.

"I think I've found everything left of import here, you said your Clan was nearby?"

"Yes, you were discovered by Thalion and Mahanon while they scouted ahead for our upcoming journey. But with the discovery of this place, we may stay a while yet."

"Do you not have homes? Cities to return to?"

Deshanna's face was apprehensive, wondering how much to say to the woman who had already been through so much in such a short time. She didn't want to push her over the edge of her current emotionally overcharged state, she opted for keeping the reply vague.

"We are Dalish, da'len. Of Clan Lavellan, even though I know that means little to you. I will explain more once we return, and answer any questions you have. I imagine we all have many of our own."

            ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Upon their entry of the camp of Clan Lavellan, Andriani was shocked again by just how much time had changed the world, the people. Deshanna had spent most of their trip to the camp explaining what had happened after the Great Betrayal, according to lore. Andriani was silent after that, heartbroken and obviously in shock after learning of the fall. Enslaved by the Shem'len, losing their immortality, their magic? A world filled with great cities of crystal, magic, andwonders beyond imagination for the people now, faded into history only remembered as fantasy tales told to Dalish children. 

Life was harsh for elves, no matter where they were. The ever-wandering Dalish were obviously misguided, their whole existence contributed to marking their faces to pledge themselves to long lost "Gods" and the preservation of history, travelling the wilderness often starving or freezing, living like vagabonds. While the elves of the cities were treated no better than animals, living their whole lives grouped together in hovels and doing the bidding of humans, not knowing or caring of their history or potential. The obvious distaste Deshanna showed for non-Dalish elves was amusing, making Andriani roll her eyes. If only they knew.

_You're lucky I'm too tired to deal with the reactions of what your markings truly mean._

Andriani could feel eyes on her wherever she walked, as Deshanna showed her around the camp. She could hear the whispers from the gathering crowds, but no one would approach her. 

"It seems the rest of your clan shares the same staring problem," she sighed.

"You are new to them, even without knowing who you are they know that you are different."

As they walked through the lines of tents and aravels, Andriani grew more and more angry, it being the one emotion she was always able to deal with. She was angry at the elves, at this world, even the "Gods" themselves. How could this all have happened?

Deshanna led her to the aravel of the Keeper as she noticed the mood change of the Elvhen woman, hoping to get her to rest.

"You have learned much in the span of a few hours, child. You are weakened still, take time to rest." 

Andriani just nodded absently and stepped into the aravel, needing time to think more than rest.  _I've had more than enough rest for the time being._

She leaned against a wall inside the blessedly silent aravel, collapsing to the ground with her head in her hands letting her tears finally flow free. 

All she wanted to do was sob, or laugh, or kill someone, and oh Fade above did she miss _sex_. Too many stupid emotions she risked acting on childishly, and all of them were hightened by waking up after far too long. She knew that she hadn't given herself the time needed for the transition from sleep, and that until she did, everything would be overcharged.

But she couldn't, there was too much that was wrong with this world, too much had changed for the worse. She couldn't find a single thing that she recognized so far. The People were.. wrong, a shadow of what they should be. No one spoke Elvhen? For how long?

_Too many questions. Do I want to know the answers? No. But I need to know them. I am not so weak that I would hide from the truth._

_If anyone of this time really knows what that is, I will find it._

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so, let's just pretend Dalish Keepers know how to wake up ancient sleepy elves, okay? And language spells for the sake of conversations. This chapter kind of got way longer than I originally intended, but they won't all be like this!
> 
> Project Elvhen Translations:  
> Da'len- Child  
> Ha'hren- Respected elder  
> Vallas'lin- Dalish blood writing  
> Uthenera- Slumber of the ancient elves  
> An'daran Atish'an- Greetings, Welcome, The place you go is a safe place  
> Ma serranas- my thanks, my gratitude.  
> Rajelan- Commander, one who leads.
> 
> Thanks to all who have taken the time to give this fic a chance, even with all the changes I'm having a lot of fun writing it! <3


	3. Hopeless Wanderer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After spending three years living and travelling with Clan Lavellan, restoring her strength and correcting the Dalish misconceptions of the past, rumours are spreading around the clan that the Keeper is going to send someone to the fast-approaching Conclave. Not wanting to pass up an oppurtunity, Andriani volunteers.

_Three years. Has it really been so long?_

Andriani was walking through the camp on her way to bring furs to the hunters, and laughing at herself for the fact that for as old as she is, she now considered three years to be a substantial amount of time after staying with the clan for so long.

"Something funny, ha'hren?" The voice behind her called, catching up and throwing an arm around her waist.

She rolled her eyes but kept her pace, "How many times must I tell you to stop calling me that, Mahanon?" she sighed, unimpressed. "Or should I just start addressing you as the child that you so obviously are?"

He laughed at this, a hearty pleasant sound, while his hand started to wander down her side. "You weren't so quick to call me a child last night, but I suppose compared to you, my 25 years might be-" he breathed so only she could hear. "Ow!"

She smiled at him sweetly, pleased with herself as he recoiled from her, rubbing the spot on his arm where she had zapped him with a small shock spell and glaring. "There's no need for violence, Riani." 

"There's also no need for you to flirt so openly, while arranged to be bonded to another woman no less, but we all have our faults." Andriani raised an eyebrow at his contrite expression, "honestly, she hates me enough as it is."

"It's not as if we're in love, just doing our duty to the clan." He pushed back a lock of silver hair behind his ear, "besides, you and I are just good friends." He said, winking at her. 

"You _truly_  make it hard to not be violent." She shook her head at him.  _Honestly if it weren't for all his stamina, he would be far too much trouble than he's worth._

He sighed not wanting to be shocked again, changing the subject to one that might placate her. "Did you hear the Keeper wants to send someone to spy on that shem gathering that's happening soon?"

"The Conclave?", she raised her eyebrows, pleasantly surprised at the Keeper.

The Keeper had even started showing interest in having Andriani accompany her and Ellana to Arlathven, to maybe start discussing certain aspects of the past with the elders of every clan. But Andriani didn't want to stop there, knowing she couldn't stay with them forever. She wanted to make sure all of the clans received the same knowledge, along with the elves of the cities, and the ones stuck in Tevinter. She just had no idea how to go about influencing change, as widespread as it needed to be.

_It's not as if I can stand up in front of the world and say, "hello, I'm thousands of years old and you've gotten basically everything wrong". Not all elves are bound to be as receptive to information that challenges their stubborn ideals._

Over the last few years of being guided by Andriani, Clan Lavellan had been starting to thrive as the most truly knowledgeable of the Dalish. She remembered the first few months after her arrival to the clan, how sad she became the more she thought about being the last of her kind, grieving over the loss of everyone and everything she had ever known. When she learned about everything the elves of this day had gotten wrong, correcting any of it was made difficult by the respect bordering on reverence she was shown after Deshanna had explained where she came from and who she was.  _It took months to get rid of that, I don't think I'd ever been so irritated._

Now, Andriani was just another valued member of Clan Lavellan to the people. She had taking up a position as an advisor to the Keeper, dividing her time between training the clan's hunters in older and more efficient ways, as well as passing on what she knows of elvhen magic and _real_ history to Deshanna and Ellana.

_It's not as if I can stand up in front of the world and say, "hello, I'm thousands of years old and you've gotten basically everything wrong"._

But with news spreading all over Thedas of the talks scheduled by the Divine to end the mage/templar conflicts that was plaguing most of the country and making it harder for them to travel,  Deshanna had directed her interest there instead, much to Andriani's interest. She had been pushing Deshanna to make more of an effort to connect with humans, the elves shouldn't need to remain in this world's shadow forever. Someone had to start doing things differently.

"How interesting... are you headed to the other hunters, Mahanon?" She was anxious to get to Deshanna to see who she was going to send. "See that the others get these." She dropped the pile of furs unceremoniously into his arms and gave a goodbye, and was off toward the Keeper's tent.

She was stopped by several people along the way, as she often was when she walked throughout the camp. She loved to help, and was happy to do anything she could to help the clan that had woken her up and taken her in. Even things as little as stories about the past or advice on which healing herbs to use on injuries. It was hilarious to her at first, that she would be the one people came to ask about healing since she was rubbish at it by the standards of her time, always preferring to learn arts of combat over anything else and leaving the more boring schools of magic to lesser elves. 

"Ha'hren Riani!" She was interrupted by a small, loud voice coming toward her fast. She whirled around just in time for a little girl to run straight into her.

She stifled her amusement, making her face into a mask of annoyance. "What have I told you about running through the camp, Tamsyn." She lowered to her knees in front of the girl to meet her eyes, "you're going to hurt someone."

The child rolled her eyes when she thought Andriani couldn't see.  _A child after my own heart._

Her initial fondness for the girl had started in the first few months after Andriani arrived. After sitting in on a conversation with the Keeper and Tamsyn's parents, who were discussing what to do now that the girl had come into magic. When she learned the horrible truth of what clans did with extra mages, nothing had enraged her as that did.

_Sending innocent children to forge a path for themselves in the wilderness, out of fear that the humans would find the clan, it was worse than humans locking all their mages in towers._

After that, she had been adamant on changing the way they dealt with it. Promising to help the clan shield themselves from the eyes of the humans, and help guide their young mages to prevent any accidents.

After meeting Tamsyn she was startled by her striking resemblance to Andruil, both in physical appearance and demeanor. It was in the girl that Andriani had seen her first glimpse of anything left of Elvhenan in the current world, it had given her hope that the future could change for the better.

"Ir abelas, I went to your tent but couldn't find you, there's a new halla! Did you see him yet?" She was practically bouncing up and down in her childish excitement, and was such that Andriani couldn't pretend to be irritated anymore.

"I'm on my way to see the Keeper, after that I will meet you at the pens, okay?" She chuckled at the dissapointment in the girl's large blue eyes, she would follow Andriani around all day if she let her. "I hope you've been practicing that spell I taught you, I shan't teach you anything else until you master it."

Tamsyn struggled to not roll her eyes again, "I got it days ago, hahren. Honestly how long did you think it would take?"

"You're much to quick for your own good. I'm going to run out of things to teach you if you keep this up." Riani shook her head and waved her hand dismissively, "off you go, da'assan. I'll catch up soon."

                                                     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 "So it's true, you are sending someone? Who?" Andriani asked as she sat in the tent across from Deshanna.

"I haven't decided yet. I was leaning toward sending one of the twins. Creators know I could use a break from Mahanon. But Ellana refuses to let him go without her, and I'm inclined to indulge her that."

She sighed at hearing this, "have you considered maybe sending neither of them? I could go.."

"So worried for them? We've taught them well, da'len. They would be alright." She narrowed her eyes at the endearment but said nothing.  _Three years later and I still can't get her to stop calling me a child._

"and if they weren't? If anything happened to Ellana you would be lost, and if anything happened to Mahanon, Ellana would be lost." 

"You obviously have a suggestion, Riani. Speak it." 

"Why not let me go? I would be safe on my own, and you wouldn't be risking your First or your best hunter. Besides, I can't stay with you forever."

The Keeper smiled at her sadly, reaching for her hand. "You need to see more of this world, Riani. I knew I couldn't keep you forever. But why in such a rush to see a shemlen peace talk?"

"As I've said before, Deshanna. It affects us all, and you know this or you wouldn't be sending one of the clan." Riani sighed sadly, "besides, my memories are still missing, and so is the truth. If I have any hope of recovering what was lost, I cannot stay here."

She still to this day could not remember why she entered Uthenera, beyond the magic being that of Andruil's own. She could hardly help anyone with no memory of what really happened, and as much as she had come to care for Lavellan, she knew she couldn't remain there much longer. They needed to stand on their own without Andriani around. 

"I just want to make sure that without my presence, the clan has what it needs to make it through."

"As much as we have come to love you as one of our own, you weren't born to be stuck in a clan. You were born for greatness, and as much as you have done I have a feeling there is still more work for you to do."  Deshanna smiled at her fondly. "We will endure, da'len. Of that you can always be certain. Go to this Conclave then, with my blessing.  I've no doubt Ellana will be relieved, but you get to be the one to break the news to Mahanon. 

Her eyes lit up and she smiled wide, "gladly."

                            ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_~~~Three weeks later.~~~_

 

Upon her approach of the small enclosed village, she lifted the hood of her cloak over her head, covering as much of her long red braided hair and face as she could. The goal of her journey after all was to stay as out of the way as possible, before and throughout the Conclave. She wasn't even supposed to stop anywhere, but the village had piqued her curiosity, and she couldn't help herself.

Thick pillows of snow coat the trees around the outer walls, and she could make out people (soldiers?) and tents just outside the gates. She approached the wide open gates and quietly slipped inside, intent on finding someone to get some information from.

It was far busier inside the walls than she imagined it would be, the smells of strange foods cooking along the dirt road through the market mixed with the loud sounds of a village that was far too busy for it's size. She made her way through the market itself, slowing down to look at the different stalls selling everything from dried meats and various cheeses to what looked like rather crude armor and weapons.

Taking in the surrounding area beyond the market she was currently walking through, more tents could be seen littered throughout like the ones outside the gates, as well as some small simple houses along the walls, that lead up to a large curious building in the very top of the village. After wandering past the market stalls, and finding herself in another small cluster of houses, she followed the stone steps leading up to a slightly larger house with loud muffled voices and laughter seeping out from within. As she walked up to the door it swung open, two very drunk shemlen spilled out laughing as they held each other up and walked back toward the tents.

_A tavern, then._

After walking inside she immediately felt slightly better. It was a small place to be sure, with dirty stone floors covered in a few worn rugs and a crackling fireplace that took up most of one wall, adding much-needed warmth. A makeshift counter in front of shelves full of what looks like bottles full of questionable alcohol, mismatched tables and chairs placed around the room, and sparsely decorated walls with just a few portraits around the room.

It is still quite early in the day, and she glanced around the room, smiling when she spotted what she was looking for. A lone older man sitting at a table in the back. He's obviously had his fair share of drinks, and watched her as she walked over to him and sat in the chair across the table with watery, unfocused eyes. She lowered her hood to her shoulders as she sat, before attempting to speak to him.

"Hello, there. You seem to be enjoying yourself." She eyes him warily, wondering how much longer he'll be awake before he passes out.

 "Maker, you're beau'iful- for an elf", he adds to the end.

_For an elf? Really?_

She raised an eyebrow at him, and resisted the urge to slap him upside the head or worse, before smiling. "I'm looking for directions to the Conclave, I know I'm close but I've lost my map and can't seem to find one to replace it."

He was swaying and staring at her questioningly, "wassa knife-ear like you need to know chantry business like tha' for? I thought all you rabbits cared about was travelling in your wagons?"

She tensed up at the slurs, it was her first time hearing them. She had heard it would be much worse than this, but couldn't help but flare up with anger. It wasn't right that they'd put up with it for so long.  _You're inching closer and closer to an early grave, stupid shem._

He ran his hand up her sleeve, and when she looked up at him he had a hungry look on his face. "I'm sure if you're a good little rabbit I could take you there meself." 

_Well then._

"Thank you, that would be very helpful." She runs a hand up his arm and to his temple gently up the side of his face, there's a small glow and he falls asleep. The smile falls from her face as she rolls her eyes. She would have felt worse about doing it if it weren't for his comment, she thinks.

_He'll feel that when he wakes up, remembering nothing but a bad headache. He should have ended up with much worse. But still, I can't just knock out everyone who looks down at me._

Shrugging her shoulders and turning around, she replaced the hood of her cloak and leaves the tavern, making her way toward the large building that looks over the rest of the village. But she doesn't get far, stopping when she sees an elven man not twenty paces ahead. 

He's the same as what she's come to expect of elves of this time, much to her dismay. He's slight, barely taller than her. None of the graceful height or elegant gait of Elvhen men. His ears are also flatter, and lower on his head. His short and messily clipped hair is almost ruddy in its flat brown color, like mud with but with none of the shine. Hmm.. he is facing away from me though, I need to get closer. 

_For as much comfort as I found in Mahanon, there is nothing quite like real Elvhen men._

She called out to him, with the standard Dalish greeting. He turned to her then, the confusion clear on his face.  Low cheekbones can be seen under the lines of his markings, as well as thin lips and eyes that don't quite shine the way they should, it never failed to unnerve her. Is this what elves will always be?

She smiles at him sadly as he spoke. "Begging your pardon m'lady, but I don't speak any Elvish really". He looked at her as he bowed his head, running his eyes down her form appreciatively thinking he was being subtle, before he looked to the ground. Her mouth curled into a grimace, and she rolled her eyes.

_At least that look will always be familiar._

"Where is this place?"

"You mean Haven? That's the name of this village, a small one we are, but we're less than half a days ride from The Temple of Sacred Ashes", he explained with a proud look on his face, and it only makes her more confused as he continues. "The Divine herself is there as we speak. The Conclave will begin soon, and hopefully that will mean the end of all the fighting."

"One can only hope." she said. "Thank you for the information," she says with a small smile. "One last thing, how do I find this Conclave?"

                                       ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stopping just outside the village walls, Andriani leans against a tall tree, collapsing to the snow with her head against the tree and her eyes shut. "Fenedhis."

_Couldn't hurt to take a quick rest before I travel, not much longer now._

Still leaning into the tree and lost in her thoughts, she didn't notice the tall, cloaked Elvhen man walking by her, staring intently as he passed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter before the big boom and Inqusition beginnings!


	4. Fly Straight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the Conclave exploded, Andriani finds herself in the custody of Seeker Cassandra, and travelling to help the soldiers and close the rift below. She certainly wasn't expecting to come across a familiar face, or come out of this situation with more questions than answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dread writing pre-Haven, because it's all basically in-game dialogue and set ups for the future. Some added dialogue with Andriani, and her thoughts on the apostate fade-expert.

"Why not let me go Deshanna?" She mimicked herself, "I'll be _fine_ , what could possibly happen to me?" 

_Other than waking up with a strange magical marking on my hand and being locked in a jail cell, all while losing even more of my memories and convincing angry Shemlen not to kill me, that is._

She sighed at her self-deprecating thoughts as she looked down at her newly glowing left hand.

"What?" 

She looked over to the Seeker who had stopped to stare at Andriani from where she was walking ahead of her, an eyebrow raised. 

_How long have I been talking to myself?_

She smiled at the angry-looking woman, "oh, nothing. Just wondering when we're going to get... wherever it is we're going."

The Seeker looked almost satisfied with her answer, "We are getting close to the Rift, you can hear the fighting." She carries on with her brisk pace ahead of Andriani. 

"Who is fighting?", she was struggling to keep up and talk at the same time. 

"You will see soon, we must help them".

_However much help I might even be, with this horrible makeshift bow you've given me, and being dressed in this ridiculous, crude and ill-fitting soldier's armor is loads of fun._

Her gear was all confiscated when they found had found her after she supposedly walked out of the Fade and into the ruins. Luckily she had left her own gear in Deshanna's care when she left for the Conclave, leaving the clan dressed simply as a Dalish hunter. 

As soon as they hit the top of the snowy hill she could see the Rift that Cassandra spoke of. It was a ghastly bright green color, and she could feel it degrading the very air around them. Demons were pouring out if it, and an elven man and a dwarf were fighting them off as best they could.

_Poor spirits, who would do such a thing? My heart hurts for them, as even in my time, twisting a spirit against it's very nature would be a grave injustice._

Upon approach of the fighting, Andriani had stopped in her tracks. For the first time since waking up, she felt magic that was...familiar. She could feel it all around her in the air itself, impressive magics flowing from the elf ahead. Everything she had come across until this point was crude, a simple and perverted fraction of what was.

_But not his... Curious._

"Are you going to stare at them all day, or help us?" Cassandra said as she eyed Andriani with what might have been amusement under other circumstances, but right now it was impatience.

_I hadn't even realized I was staring at him, but he is the closest thing to Elvhen I've seen since I woke up. Get it together._

With a sigh and a shake of her head, she grabbed her bow and loosed an arrow in the face of a rage demon that was going right for the back of the elven man. He turned around then, meeting her eyes from across the courtyard. There was a flash of something like recognition in his eyes but as quickly as it came it was gone, replaced with a look of gratitude and an almost imperceptible nod of his head.

After assisting the two men with a few leftover demons, they all ran to the rift. "Quickly, before more come through!" The elf said, while grabbing her marked hand and thrusting it toward the Rift. All her thoughts were on the feel of his hand around hers, strong and warm and larger than her own, with long slender fingers. The rift closed with a loud pop, breaking her from her thoughts, and she looked up at him questioningly, "what did you do?".

"I did nothing, the credit is yours." He made a small gesture to her hand, and she looked at it, wiggling her fingers.

_At least this mark is good for something._

At a loss for words, she just made a small noise of agreement. Something was nagging her about the man. Something she thought she should know, that strange feeling like trying to recall a dream hits her when she looks at the elf, but she can't place why. 

"Whatever magic opened the Breach in the sky also placed that mark upon your hand, I theorized the mark might be able to close the rifts that have opened in the Breach's wake, and it seems I was correct." He was staring at her now, a little too intently for her liking, as he spoke.  _Why do I feel like I know you?_

Cassandra spoke then, jolting her again out of thoughts about the elven man, who's name she still didn't even know. "Meaning it could close the Breach itself."

"Possibly" Riani says at the same time as he does, prompting them to look to each other again. Without dropping her gaze, he says quietly, "It appears you hold the key to our salvation".

Cassandra was glancing between them then, not sure what to make of what was going on, and the forgotten dwarf cleared his throat theatrically, prompting them all to look at him.

"Good to know! Here I thought we'd be ass-deep in demons forever." He spoke to Andriani then for the first time, introducing himself. "Varric Tethras: Rogue, Storyteller, and occasionally unwelcome tag along".

Cassandra just made a face.

"Are you with the Chantry, or...?"

The elf laughed at her, a dark but lovely sound, and she glared back. "Was that a serious question?" he said, the amusement clear on his face, and Andriani doesn't get the joke.

"Technically I'm a prisoner, just like you." Varric interrupted, as she resists the urge to roll her eyes at this.

Instead she thinks to introduce herself to him as well, but how? Should she give her name to anyone outside the clan? The Elvhen Pantheon were all but forgotten, if the stories were to be believed. It didn't seem like her or any of the other Chosen were known of at all now, maybe remembered in legends or old stories passed down, but nothing of value, nothing real.

Andriani didn't think introducing herself as the recently woken up from thousands of years of sleep immortal Chosen of a long-dead "God", or secret unmarked adviser to the only knowledgeable Dalish Clan, were the right approaches here.

"You can call me Riani." She said simply, not quite a lie.

_Going along with this is tiresome, but at least here there are things to kill and less time to my own thoughts and emotions._

Cassandra and Varric then started arguing about... something, and Andriani got the feeling that they do this often. She was hardly paying attention to it anymore, lost again in thought as she was, but his voice pulled her out of it.

"My name is Solas, if there are to be introductions. I am pleased to see you still live." He said with the barest hint of a smile on his face.

_If he had hair, he would look so much like-_

"He means, 'I kept that mark from killing you while you slept'", inserted Varric, cutting her off from finishing her thought.

_An elf of this time could not keep me from succumbing to such powerful and obviously elvhen magics, unless.. oh._

Her eyes instantly widened as her mind connected the dots, and she gasped. They all stopped speaking, and stared at her. Cassandra leveled her with another 'I think you might be crazy' look, but Riani no longer cared.

"You seem to know a great deal about it all" She blurted out, trying and failing to keep the accusation from her voice while she narrowed her eyes at him.

He opened his mouth to speak, staring at her with his piercing grey-blue eyes, and Riani was sure now why he was so familiar.

_Did it really take me that long to remember him? Does he remember me? If he is alive what does that mean for the others?_

She willed herself to not show any more signs of recognition for now, but it was difficult. She molded her face into an emotionless mask, as she would have done in the old days when trying not give anything away.

_I've come much too far to become undone now, before I really learn anything, but what is he doing here?_

"Solas is an Apostate" Cassandra says simply, before he could reply to her accusation.   _As if that could explain anything. I_ suppose _in Cassandra's mind it must._

He carefully avoids her gaze as he replies, artfully dodging her question. "Technically all mages are now apostates, Cassandra, my travels have allowed me to learn much of the Fade, far beyond the experience of Any Circle Mage."

_Yes. Thousands of years beyond, Dread Wolf._

She scoffs at this accidentally, covering it with a cough. But he notices, because of course he does. 

"I came to offer whatever help I can give with the Breach. If it is not closed, we are all doomed, regardless of origin." He says, pointedly not looking to her.

"And what will you do, once this is over?", she blurted out again, not taking her eyes off of him, and daring him to meet her gaze.

"One hopes those in power will remember who helped and who did not." and with that he turned away, but she doesn't miss his meaning. "Cassandra, you should know: the magic involved here is unlike any I have seen."

"Your prisoner is a mage" he finally looks at her again as he says this, and she stared into his eyes, raising a brow. "But I find it difficult to imagine any mage of this world having such power." The urge to roll her eyes again is strong, and just seems to increase with everything he says.

_Power like this should be as easy for me as breathing, but it isn't here. Not anymore._

_"_ A mage who fights with a bow? Curious."

Andriani just smiled at her, not bothering with explanations for now. There was far too much to do.

Cassandra seems to trust his opinion on the matter however, so they set out to make their way to the forward camp.

 

Andriani feels his eyes on her back the whole way there.

                                              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Upon their approach of the small military camp on a crumbling bridge, Riani could hear one very angry sounding Shemlen above all the rest. His voice grated on any leftover shreds of the patience she was rapidly running out of. _Deep breaths, this is your best chance at any information you might need._

She approaches the angry human, who was surrounded on both sides by Cassandra and Leliana. Coming up silently at their side she catches the end of their conversation. "As Grand Chancellor of the Chantry, I hereby order you to take this Criminal to Val Royeaux to face execution."

She really was getting better at not rolling her eyes, but can't stop herself from arching an eyebrow at the man.

"'Order me'? You are a glorified clerk, a bureaucrat!" Cassandra said angrily, looking as fed up with the day as Andriani feels. She's starting to like that about the woman, it's much easier to be impressed with her anger when it's directed at someone else.

"And you are a thug, but a thug who supposedly serves the Chantry!" the angry man had managed to get even louder, if that was possible.

"We serve The Most Holy, Chancellor, as you well know." Leliana interjects quietly in the pleasant lilt of hers. She always seemed to hang quietly in the background until she was needed, and you almost wouldn't know she was there unless she wanted you to.

After some more pointless arguing about what to do with Andriani and with the Breach, they asked for her opinion on the matter.

_Surprising, they would ask an elf? Especially one with no memories of what happened, and accused of murdering the Divine and countless others?_

 "Now you're asking me what I think?" she couldn't stop the curiosity from seeping into her voice.

"You have the mark", Solas said from right behind her, she hadn't even heard him approach.

"And you are the one we must keep alive" adds Cassandra. _Until I'm no longer useful to you_. "Since we cannot agree on our own..."

She could feel his eyes on her again, almost appraising her, as she decided which path made the most sense.

It would probably be quickest to take the mountain path, and we would be helping some of Leliana's scouts in the process... But it would be safest and more direct to charge through with soldiers assisting us.

_I'm much too impatient to be done with this._

"I say we charge, I won't survive long enough for your trial. Whatever happens, happens now."

 "on your head be the consequences, Seeker." the chancellor says.

 

That time, Andriani didn't bother hiding the roll of her eyes.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

_So. Many. Demons._

They'd barely been in the mountain pass for an hour, and had already come upon another rift, the same as the first.

The group had started to become quite the cohesive team with Cassandra at their front _(She really is quiet magnificent)_ , Solas keeping them under constant barriers and erecting walls of ice preventing any of them from being surrounded, and Varric and Andriani gracefully picking off the farthest away opponents as they moved throughout the field.

_His aim is commendable, and he really is much too graceful for a dwarf._

She had just flipped backwards from a demon that was getting much too close, and that was when she saw him.

A man dressed in very imposing dark armor and a fur cloak, sword raised and mid-charge at a group of several demons. He moved much faster than he should have been capable of in that much equipment, and cut them down without so much as breaking a sweat, she couldn't help but stare.

_That was... impressive._

Solas cleared his throat then, and she turned to see him arching a perfect eyebrow at her, with a look that almost could have passed for amusement, "We must close the rift to get past."

After turning a light shade of pink at being caught so obviously staring at the warrior, she turned away from the group. Remembering how Solas had helped her do it before, she raised her hand up toward the rift. Feeling the power coursing through her veins, there was definitely no mistaking it for elvhen magic, and the rift closed with another loud pop.

"Sealed as before, you are becoming quite proficient at this." Solas remarked, almost to himself. She nodded, but found her eyes wandering elsewhere, over to the man from the battle who had walked over to them and was now speaking.

"Lady Cassandra, you managed to close the Rift? Well done."

_He's much too attractive, for a Shemlen._

As he spoke to Cassandra she found her eyes drawn to a small scar just above his lip, "do not congratulate me, Commander. This was the prisoner's doing."

_Oh. Yes. Prisoner, that's me._

She looked up to meet his golden eyes with her own, as he spoke to her for the first time. "Is it? I hope they're right about you. We've lost a lot of good people to get you here."

_Fenedhis, that scar._

"I can't promise anything, but I am doing what I can." 

He smiled just slightly, "That's all we can ask. The way to the temple should be clear, Leliana will try to meet you there." He said something about the Maker before running off, but Andriani was much too focused on watching him move.

                                                       ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"The Temple of Sacred Ashes."

 

The overwhelming smell of Charred corpses and death were just one of the many assaults on the senses, things you never quite get used to, no matter how many battles you face.

 The smoke was still clearing but the damge to the place was catastrophic, the sheer size of the blast alone must have been impressive. She could see the opening ahead where they would get to the Breach. "That is where you walked out of the Fade and our soldiers found you." Cassandra said, _just one more thing I've done to add to my ever-growing list of missing memories._

"They say a woman was in the rift behind you. No one knows who she was." _I wish I knew._

"We should push forward, we need to close the Breach." She changed the subject, knowing that Cassandra was looking for answers still, but Riani had none for her.

Then they see it, the site of whatever happened to set off the blast itself. It was a small ruin left standing in the middle of what was the temple, a rift larger than any others they've come across so far sticking straight out of its center, the off-green color of it making them all uneasy. She followed it up into the sky to the monstrous Breach above, amazed at the size of it from up close.

She felt another pulse of the pain spilling from the mark and coursing through her arm, but she didn't scream taking a deep breath instead, shutting her eyes and clenching her jaw, she waited through the pain.

_This is nothing, the pain is beneath you Andriani, close the Rift._

Leliana had made it, and Cassandra has her order her men to several different positions around the Temple, while the group made their way down to the floor of it.

"This is your chance to end this, are you ready?" Cassandra asks her as they walk down.

"As I'll ever be, though I'm not sure how to even start getting up to that thing."

"No, this rift was the first, and it is the key." Solas explained. "Seal it, and perhaps we seal the Breach." She just nodded her head at him, giving away none of her rapidly developing thoughts.

"Bring forth the Sacrifice" A voice called out to them, seemingly coming from nowhere.

"What are we hearing?" they look around for anyone who could possibly remain alive.

"At a guess, the person who created the Breach." says Solas.

"So, echoes of the Fade, most likely." she says. He looked at her then, with a strange look on his face, "quite." _What is your game?_

What she saw next threw her thoughts far from Solas, and stopped in her tracks.

"Red Lyrium. It cannot be, I haven't seen any of this since..."

Solas clears his throat, thankfully.

She jerks her head up to look at him and he was raising an eyebrow at her, "since..?"

The Breach reflected off her already deep green eyes, probably showing the pain she was trying so hard to hide. She opened her mouth to speak but closed it again, thinking better of herself.

She can see it in the look in his eyes, that her face at the thought of Andruil betrayed her emotions far too well. Focus. He started to speak then as if to question her further, when the echo of the Fade returns, saving her from coming up with an explanation.

"Keep the sacrifice still." and another voice, a woman's. "Someone help me!"

"That is Divine Justinia's voice!" Cassandra shouted, and then Andriani's eyes widened at the sound of her own coming from nowhere with the rest, "What's going on here?"

_Well. Of course, I would walk in on a madman's sacrificial ritual._

Cassandra's voice again pulled her from her self-deprecating thoughts, "That was your voice. Most Holy called out to you, but-"

She was cut off by movement of the Rift.

Andriani knocked an arrow, preparing for the battle she can feel in her bones. _Finally, no more talking. No more feeling. Something I can kill._

But no, of course not yet.

The ghostly voices turned into an apparition of the scene. A woman being prepared for sacrifice by a hideously deformed and very tall man. Andriani sees herself walk in and the Divine call out to her, trying to warn her to run, to warn them all.

"We have an intruder, slay the elf!" She scoffed at the last part. _Obviously you failed._

The apparition disappeared, leaving Cassandra with a host of similar questions of if it was real or who it was that attacked, she had no answers for her and her patience was wearing dangerously thin.

"I. Cannot. Remember. For the Millionth time, Cassandra!" Not bothering to restrain her annoyance, Cassandra shut up immediately, even though she was glaring.

Solas then said that they need to open the rift, and seal it again properly, and Andriani agreed with him.

_Anything to finally be able to kill something._

They prepare to reopen the rift when Leliana's scouts are positioned across the upper reaches of the ruins, and as soon as the party on the ground is ready, she raised her hand to open the Rift.

They're thrown back slightly from the unexpected force of it, and from the rift a massive demon of pride emerged. The monster landed with a loud thud, sending a quake below their feet, and throws it's head back in a roar.

She smiled. This she knows she can do, without thinking. The hunt and the kill, the savage beauty seen in great battles and the rush of adrenaline that comes from fighting something of worth. _Like this. I'm good at this._

She ran toward the fray then, arrows flying at the beast from every direction, with Cassandra rushing in with her sword raised highand a battle cry on her lips.

Andriani ran in close, loosing arrows with extreme precision as she went Once she wasclose enough that she could reach out and touch the demon, she deftly flipped backwards to safety, raining arrows down on it in her wake, and landed on her toes. Solas slammed his staff down into the ground with a graceful twirl, and sent a massive fireball straight into the center of the beast, followed by a surge of lightning before refreshing their barriers.

It charged at Cassandra then, who threw up her shield just in time to avoid getting struck down. Andriani had a theory then, and reached her hand up and sending magic into the rift, which let out an angry pulse of energy, staggering the demon and bringing it to it's knees.

"Now!" she screamed while knocking another arrow, and aiming it at the head of the demon. With a few more of their attacks the beast fell.

"Do it, close the Rift!"

She raised her hand now beyond exhausted, and with one more surge of power she started to close the rift.

This one did feel different than the last, she could feel it in the massive amount of energy it took from her. She ignored the horrible pain in her arm growing with each passing moment, and focused all of her will on the Breach above.

With a deafening crack, the rift finally closed, and the Breach above it seals.

 

and the world went dark, again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read this!


	5. & Do Not Waiver

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Andriani passed out upon sealing the Breach, they returned her to Haven. Inside a small home she slept for three whole days. Unbeknownst to her, she was being watched and cared for by Solas. As he spent time in her presence, he wondered how she had come to be there. She should be dead, like all the rest of her kind. He struggles with what it could mean for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A chapter about our sleeping Inquisitor, from Solas' POV as he reminisces on the good parts of Elvhenan, and what he knows of her.

_Where did you come from?_

It had been three days since the mysterious elven woman had sealed the Breach. _Well, mysterious to everyone but him._ Three long days of waiting for her to wake up.

Three days full of monitoring her condition, after taking over for the bumbling idiots that passed for healers in this time. She had briefly started to mumble incoherently in her sleep when he had come to check on her that first day, and he couldn't chance that she would start to become clearer to those around them, especially since she wasn't speaking in the common tongue, but in incoherent strings of High Elvish.

Even if he had not recognized her upon meeting, he would have known her for an Elvhen after that since the speech of his own time was now dead, broken into fragments that only the Dalish use, and even they lose more of it with each passing day.

The humans had released her weapons back into his charge to put in the small house where she was recovering, after it was clear to them that he would let no one else care for her. He had told them it was to examine the mark further, as his expertise was needed to keep it from killing her after the massive amount of energy she had expended at the Breach.

Which wasn't far from the truth, he was an expert of the mark more than any other could be. It was his after all.

Even parted from his orb as he was, he could feel it's power swirling through her, mingling alongside the returning power of her own and the faded mark on the whole of her, one belonging to another. He shuddered to think of what might have happened had a mortal interrupted the ritual that bestowed his mark. 

He had never expected to come across one of The People, let alone one he had known, or a Chosen of his own kin. He knows she still feels the loss of Andruil, he could see it in the flash of sadness that had marked her face when they came upon red lyrium in the ruins of The Temple of Scared Ashes. Gone almost as soon as it had come, noticed only by himself. 

_Why was she here? How?_

He had thought all of her kind had perished in the battles following the death of Mythal, hunted down and slain in the pointless wars for power, as his own had been before he had sealed his kin away. He still felt the pain of that loss, even after thousands of years.

It is not such a small thing to feel a part of your own being, your very soul, ripped away from you. _Just one more mistake I made._  He shook his head at the thought, shoving down emotions he couldn't afford to have.

Looking for something to distract him from his thoughts, he glanced over to the table where he had placed all of her gear. Her weapons were a welcome sight, reminders of home.

The bow was expertly crafted, designed befitting a noble huntress of her skill and station, and would have been used in the many grand tournaments where she fought ( _and won_ ) in the name of her lady, or on the many great hunts of legendary beasts that Andruil was known to love, even in the many battles she would have led in one of many skirmishes and battles of their people.

_She could ruin everything, change everything._

He thought about how much she might know of him after the time when Elvhenan had fallen, of what he had done. 

Dark thoughts passed through his mind about how easy it would be to end her life before she woke up, made to look like an accident, as if she simply passed away in the night, the strange magic in the mark too strong for her to bear.

But then what would become of the world? The Breach? It wasn't closed, but temporarily sealed, and who knows how long it could last in that state. With his orb still missing, probably in the hands of the one who created the Breach, he couldn't risk taking her life. He sighed.  _More selfish thoughts, haven't I been the cause of enough loss?_

He would have to find out what she knew. He needed to stay, not only to help the humans heal the sky, but to make sure she didn't interfere with his plans.

Solas thought on how much he remembered of her.

_We'd only met ever met twice, and briefly even by the standard of how time is measured now. Once there were introductions at the grand hunts and tournaments that celebrated Andruils' Ascension to the Pantheon, and again hundreds of years later, they had...danced for a night at a masquerade of Mythal's._

He had heard of her many times throughout the courts of Elvhenan, as news of the deeds and feats of a Chosen weren't uncommon, they were almost held in as high-esteem as the Evanuris.  _Extensions of the very 'gods' themselves._  

She was born to some great noble family in Arlathan, promised to Andruil a few years after her birth, as was expected when she came into the signs of the Chosen. The highest honor an Elvhen House could ever hope for.

She was a highly-skilled and deadly warrior, who's prowess and affinity for the hunt was matched only by Andruil herself. She was as beautiful as she was kind and intelligent, there were numerous songs and poems devoted to her long red waves and deep green eyes, her high cheekbones and the graceful slope of her small nose, all a credit to millenia of good-breeding. She was said to have had a fiery temper when angry, but was also notoriously kind to the common people and to slaves, keeping none of her own. She was well loved by all the people throughout Andruils' lands.

 He had been... infatuated with her, if only briefly, at a Masquerade of Mythal, and he found himself wondering if she remembered the night from so long ago.

She was the exact type of woman his younger, more brazen self had reveled in chasing until he discovered later that she belonged to Andruil, who he had always kept away from if it could be helped.

For that and his Pride, he had stayed away, and found easier prey in the many noble daughters who eagerly vied for his attentions. But that was a story best left for another time.

He could only hope she would have any kindness or understanding left for him. Remembering the conversation he and Cassandra had upon their return to Haven, just after they had returned from the Breach, and she had commented on how strange it was to meet a Dalish with an unmarked face and lack of knowledge of the world around them.

He had explained to her that it was common for the Dalish to not know or care much for the world beyond their clan. 

She stirred from her sleep then, jolting him from his thoughts. She was rapidly speaking in broken Elvhen, of which he could only catch few words.

"Telharthan...telharthan... ame'sasha.." 

He let out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding, relaxing as she stilled again, the only sounds in the room her shallow breathing and the crackle coming from the fireplace. 

 _I_   _r abelas. You are not alone._

  He moved from the chair where he had been sitting, to stand over her near the side of the bed she slept in. He took in her graceful features, admiring that even with a pained look on her face she really was still quite beautiful. Her hair was no longer in the messy braid it had been in when he'd met her near the Breach, but cascading in gentle waves down around her shoulders.   _I haven't seen one such as you in a very long time, how much the elves have lost. Shadows of themselves._

  He strangely found himself not wanting to be hated by her. 

_Not alone anymore._

But he would not lie about the past when she awoke again, he would answer whatever questions she had that he could answer. 

He could sense that someone had hidden memories from her, the magic was faint but expertly weaved throughout her mind. It wouldn't last much longer once more of her strength returned, after being mixed with magic of his own.  _What has she forgotten?_

   Furrowing his brow, he wondered how long she had been asleep, and where she had even woken up. How long had she been awake? He had never heard of any temples of Andruil anywhere near here, but that was to be expected.

She would have been hunted like the rest of them, her place of rest would have been hidden carefully.  _Clever Andruil._

But what of the Ena'sal'in'abelas who would have been there when she woke? Surely she didn't wake up alone as he had?  _The weakness, stress and confusion when you wake up after not being attended for great periods of time can be crippling, it is a wonder she made it back to her body at all._

He was again wrested from his own mind, by the touch of a soft hand on his own. His eyes widened slightly in surprise, as he looked down into large forest-green eyes staring back in to his own, sleepily. 

_Beautiful._

He shook his head, he hadn't even noticed she had woken up.

And then she spoke, softly.

"FenHarel."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short little chapter after a long busy weekend. Again, thank you for reading :) If you have comments, criticisms, just want to chat, leave a comment below!  
> I love talking about DA with people ;__;
> 
> Translations:  
> Telharthan- I don't understand  
> Ame'sasha- I am alone  
> Ir'abelas- I'm sorry  
> Ena'sal'in'abelas- Ancient warriors that would have protected the tombs in which ancient elves slumbered in Uthenera


	6. The Bloodiest Hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andriani wakes up, and her and Solas have a conversation.

_I feel like death._

Andriani opened her eyes to a small, warm room.  _Much too warm._  

Her entire body felt like it had been slammed against rocks repeatedly, and made her not want to bother moving for now. It was quiet save for the sounds of breathing and the roar of the fireplace. She was lying in a bed thickly covered in heavy woolen blankets and no longer wearing the horribly fitting armor they had given her or even her own Dalish clothes, but was dressed in a simple linen shirt and what felt like soft breeches of a similar nature.  _Where are my clothes?_  

When she turned her head to look around, she noticed the hand on the edge of the bed near her own, long elegant fingers gripping into the blanket. She followed her eyes up a path from the hand and up past lean muscular forearms, with sleeves rolled up to the elbows. Then past strong shoulders and a graceful neck, into the very handsome yet distracted face of.. the Dread Wolf.

His brows were furrowed in thought, and his mouth was twisted into almost a scowl, staring off into the void with far away blue-grey eyes.

He was dressed far too simply for someone who was of his standing, in only an unassuming and forgettable tunic and breeches. The jawbone of a wolf hung from his neck on a leather cord, and his feet were in basic wraps.  _And where is all his hair?_   

His ever-impressive mane of dark auburn locks that she remembered seeing in intricate braids all down his back, or left loose and free with only the sides shaved, was gone and replaced with smooth baldness. 

She would have recognized him much sooner, she thought, if it weren't for the changes to his appearance coupled with the fact that she hadn't seen him in what was probably thousands of years. Not to mention the stress of recent days.

She started to think about all that she had learned over the past few days,and over the years. Her heart was heavy, hurt from all of the loss. The loss of so many years of her life. The loss of Andruil, and all others she ever knew or loved. Even the loss of the mighty Elvhenan, it's cruel beauty not even a memory to the people now, forgotten forever. Not to mention the things she knows she can't even remember.   _Why is everything hitting me now?_

Was her true reason for remaining with the Dalish for so long, just so she could hide from her pain? From the truth? She had been so busy teaching and helping the clan, filling all of her time with ways she could help the people that she didn't save any of it to mourn her losses, not truly. She was always determined not to wallow, not to spiral down into the despair that she felt so deeply when she woke up. Over time it was patched, but never healed. Wounds made less painful by the people who had saved her, who she had come to care a great deal for.  It was only now in the silence of this room, after days of trauma and bloodshed and loss, that she could take time and look back on all that had happened, and it seemed to much to bear for the first time.

She clenched her eyes shut against the onslaught of tears she could feel approaching, only opening them again when she was sure she wouldn't cry. With a sigh she turned her intense focus back to the man near her bed, who was still lost deep in his thoughts and hadn't even noticed she was awake yet. 

She reached out to him tentatively, suddenly stopping in wonder to stare at the mark on her palm that she had forgotten, spider-like cracks all along the skin, glowing the same green as the rifts. 

Gently placing her hand on his, she startled him from his thoughts, and his eyes widened as he stared back into hers.

"Fen'Harel." she said, in almost a whisper. "Where am I?" 

"We are in Haven, a village near the foot of the Frostback Mountains." He looked at her strangely as he spoke his reply, as if waiting for a reaction of some kind.  _But to what?_

He used the common language here instead of elvhen, so she did the same. "I've been here before." It came out as almost a whisper again, she just couldn't seem to make her voice any louder. 

Unfazed by her answer, he continued on with his questions. " What do you remember?", he tried to meet her eyes while he spoke, but she had shut her eyes, as if too weary to keep them open. "That is a great question.." she chuckled to herself after the comment, to which he only raised an eyebrow.

_The question might have made me laugh, if i wasn't just so.. tired. Tired of losing my memories, tired of not being able to remember what I've forgotten, tired of feeling so much._

 She just shook her head in reply, deciding to be safe and go back to just since she had first arrived in Haven. If he wanted more than that he'd have to be more direct, she would give him nothing freely. 

They were alone now and she didn't have to feign ignorance, didn't have to pretend she doesn't know him. She could finally get answers.  _But how much does he know?_

"I remember coming to Haven the first time, trying to learn about where I would find the Conclave. I found a servant boy who was the only one willing to help me with information, so with his directions I made my way there hoping to learn more of the world. There was an explosion, and then a delightful new missing chunk of memories to add to my almost impressive list of them." She laughed bitterly again, and sighed. "I don't remember anything beyond travelling with Cassandra to help seal the Breach, how long have I been asleep this time?"

"It has been almost three full days since we sealed the Breach, you've been more or less unconscious since then. They moved you here to recover as you looked deathly ill after you sealed the rift, they were worried you may not wake up." He said this in a voice laced with with a feeling she didn't understand.

_Shame? Guilt?_

_"_ But you weren't?" she asked sharply, not bothering to keep the accusatory tone out of her voice.

She met his eyes for the first time since speaking, staring back intensely. "I was sure you would survive it  _Riani,_ I was worried about other things." 

"Please Fen'Harel, you know my name, must you pretend that you don't?" she mumbled, sitting up slowly while wincing at the pain, and placing her head in her hands. "What other things were you worried about?"

He sighed then, and changed the subject.

"You woke briefly on your first day of being here, and grabbed a poor elven serving girl's arm as she passed, speaking to her in rapid Elvhen. You scared her and several healers half to death before collapsing again." His expression shifted into one of amusement at that. "After that, I took it upon myself to see to your recovery."

_Hmm._

She narrowed her eyes slightly at that before asking, "worried that I might give something away?".

His eyes widen just barely, before going back to the peaceful look he seemed to favor, almost a mask as if guarding himself. She continued, " why else would you take it upon yourself to spend your time making sure I didn't speak to anyone?"

His eyes darken, and Riani knows that she was right.  _What did he do?_

"If I had not recognized you on the mountain pass for who you really are, felt the mark upon your soul from who you belong to, I would have still known you as Elvhen when you spoke those words. Would you have liked to explain yourself to the healers? The humans, if they had questioned?", he stopped for a moment, before thinking to add more. "You must feel the added power inside of you as well, and I must tell you that-"

"It's yours." She cut him off before he could finish, suddenly understanding why she felt so strong. The strange, yet familiar magic coursing throughout her veins andshining through her glowing left hand.

He scowled at her, "yes, it is. You happened onto something that never should have been, a mistake." He looked earnestly into her eyes, as if trying to will her to feel what he says next. "For that, and for so much more, I am sorry." 

In her surprise at his fervor and open honesty the Pantheon was definitely not known for, She couldn't think of what to say next, couldn't do much more than stare at him. As she opened her mouth to ask what else he had to be sorry for, he continued on. "How did you even come to be here?"

She took a moment thinking about what to say, now wary again at what he might have done.

"I was discovered in a crumbling ruin in the forests of the Free Marches, by scouts from a Dalish clan that was travelling nearby. They brought their Keeper to me, and she woke me from my slumber." Another flash of a pained look crossed his face, gone almost as quick as it appeared. "I don't know exactly how long I was asleep for, other than that it was a very long time. I don't even remember my reason for going to sleep. Though I know it wasn't of my own free will, but that of Andruil, I can feel it." Her jaw clenched in anger, "but she would not let me remember the reason." She shook the thought from her mind, "I've spent the last almost three years living among the Dalish, too weak to leave after waking. I came to care for them over time, and sought to do what I could to help them preserve a little more of our history than fantasy stories."

 He nodded his head slowly as she spoke, taking in what little she remembered prior to sleeping.

At facing her feelings and memories for the first time since waking, she felt like a caged animal. Surrounded by walls that were too small, she felt the need to move around, to feel less. Remember less.

She sat up fully and moved to stand, only to be hit by sudden dizziness, unable to stand straight and she staggered forward.

Upon noticing he shot a hand out to steady her, grasping one of hers with his own, and placing the other on the small of her back. Her eyes shot to his, after feeling a jolt of... something.

_What was that?_

  The look on his face matched her own, and she knew at once that he felt it too. She looked down and away while letting go of his hand, and freeing herself from his grasp she made her way across the room looking for her things.

She spotted the table in the corner near the fireplace, new clothing and her bow splayed out across the top, her dagger off to the side. She ran the tips of her fingers over them, feeling more secure so close to her belongings. Folded neatly in a pile next to these, she spotted her dalish armor. She smiled ruefully, wishing she hadn't left her true armor and clothing in the care of Deshanna.

_Finally, something familiar._

She twirled a finger in the air, motioned for Fen'Harel to turn around while she started to change into the new clothes they had left for her. Silently trying to find the right words for what she wanted to ask him. _At least this fits better than what they originally gave me._

"Will you not tell me what has happened?" She asked, failing to keep the pain from her voice. "I cannot remember, anything past being led into Uthenera, and I know not even the reason." After dressing she walked toward him slowly, she could only see the back of his head, but it lowered as she asked this.

She waited patiently through a long silence before reaching for his shoulder and opening her mouth to question him again, and he whirled around at her touch. "First, you must know that here I am not Fen'Harel, I am just Solas. Outside of this room none know who I am, and it must stay this way. I struggle with even the fact that you know." Riani arched a brow at that but said nothing, letting him continue. He let out a long sigh, and looked as if he didn't know what he wanted to say next.

"I should go back to the beginning, my reasons for being here, the reason for the tear in the sky. It all started with the death of Mythal."

Her heart dropped, and it hit her. A feeling tearing through her mind like chains being broken, setting free the memories of what was.

_Oh Nas'falon, what have you done?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to whoever is reading this still :) I'm running out of chapters that I've already finished, so these daily updates wont last much longer!


	7. Some Things Are Better Left Forgotten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andriani wakes up in Haven with Solas, and finally remembers her past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really dislike this chapter, I tried, but I just couldn't get it the way I wanted.
> 
> ****Also, my story is just one giant spoiler, seriously all the spoilers, main game and trespasser, tons in this chapter way earlier than in the actual game.****

All there was for Andriani in that moment was pain. Fresh and deep, like an arrow through her heart.

Echoes of her memories, a conversation, and she could heard Andruil in her mind as clear as if it had only just happened, and not countless years before.

_"Ir abelas, Da'assan, Mythal... we killed her. You are innocent, and I would have you protected when I am gone, you will not remember."_

 

Riani remembered all the things that she had lost before she slept, as if her returning memories were an unstoppable flood that was now rushing through her mind. The enchantment had been broken, and was no longer protecting her from the truth, and It was all too much to bear. She fell to her knees with a pained cry that was almost a sob, a hand clutched over her mouth.

"I've heard this before." She said, voice shaking. "It was the reason I slept, she did it to protect me. Andruil killed Mythal." Her voice broke on the last syllable, her vision blurred from a well of tears that had yet to fall.

"It was not just Andruil, Mythal's death was plotted by them all. Their boundless greed and petty jealousies culminated in her death, and with it started the downfall of our people." His eyes darkened with anger as he spoke, and Riani could feel the cold fury of the magic that surrounded him. 

She took a deep breath, "Fen'Ha- Solas. What happened to them? Are the tales the Dalish tell truth?" she cocked her head up to look at him, preparing herself for the worst. She didn't want to know the answer, not really. But couldn't keep herself from asking.  _Maybe I'm getting too used to pain._

 

He appeared lost in thought for a moment, "when you woke up, did you feel.. numb? Unconnected to the very air around you, was it hard to cast spells, sense anything around you?"

She averted her eyes from his, cheeks reddening slightly as she recalled her weakness upon waking. The foggy feeling that was still there even now, that she had just grown used to.

She let out a huff, annoyed at having to admit how weak she was, still is. " I don't see what that has to do with anything", she snapped at him,"but yes. It took weeks for me to cast even simple spells, it was originally the reason I couldn't leave the care of the Dalish. As for not being able to feel anything, that too is still there in the back of my mind. I feel almost... I don't know, less than I was."

Solas cast his eyes to the floor. "I am to blame for that, and so many other things. Things were steadily getting worse for centuries before it happened, the Evanuris' waging countless wars and committing ever more atrocities to The People in their growing lust for power. They stopped caring about their subjects, about anything but their greed and jealousy. Then finally, they went too far with the death of Mythal." She could still feel the rage in the air around her, but even more so was the distinct flavor of shame. "In my fury at my kin for what they had done, I constructed the Veil and Banished them beyond it, forever. I wanted them to suffer endlessly, I wanted to set the people free from their slavery to would-be gods."

_So they do tell tales of some semblance of truth, i so hoped they were wrong._

In her shock she could not think of anything but lashing out, "you speak as if I know nothing of this, as if I didn't see it everyday. As if I didn't spend most of my days protecting innocent people, saving the ones I could from the darker moods and whims of my lady, what else could I have done?" She folded her arms over her chest, hugging herself. "I may have been placed higher than most, but even I would not oppose her that far."

Riani remembered the state Elvhenan was in before she slept, the cost of it's terrible beauty that was paid in innocent blood everyday. Most highborn Elvhen rarely experienced anything unpleasant in their sheltered lives in Arlathan or the many courts of the Evanuris across the lands and were never exposed to the dark side of their wealth and power. The bloody underworld of slavery and the quiet wars that payed for the splendor most of the higher world lived in. Much of the world lived blissfully unaware, feigning ignorance to the rest of the world around them.  _How many times did I wish I could be one of them?_

She just stared up at Solas now, eyes narrowing as her mind catches up to what he is saying. The gravity of what he had done finally settling in.  _So that means they aren't dead,_ ** _she_** _is still there._

She shoved the thought back down as quick as it surfaced, taking a deep breath to control her temper. She wasn't in a rush to have their conversation ruled by emotion.  _Even if she were still alive..._

Her whole demeanor shifted then, her eyes were cold and her words calculating. "So they are all still alive, then. Are they asleep? Surely they would be all but crazed beasts after all this time?" Her words had the effect that she was hoping for, and she saw it in the hurt on his face that she was right. Her hands were no longer shaking in grief but in anger, she wanted him to hurt like she was hurting.

The mask she was trying so hard to keep in place, was cracking under the pressure of the knowledge of what had happened to not just the Evanuris, but to their entire world, the future that could have been.

_Even as corrupt and cruel as they had ended up, they had been good once. Surely they didn't deserve such a terrible fate?  Was there no other way to fix what they had started?_

"If you recall, some had reached madness long before I locked them away." His tone was calm, but equally menacing and she recoiled as if he had slapped her. "I did what I thought was necessary for The People." 

"I am well aware of the state my lady was in," She snapped at him as she stood up, eyes flashing with fury and pain at his mention of Andruil, and her well-known mental state.  "It was no well-kept secret, even by the time I slept. Her rule was collapsing in on itself, and even I could not temper her as I once could." She looked on the verge of tears again, but blinked them away furiously, "Thank you for the reminder." 

The room had gone silent, except for the sound of the fire and the goings-on of the people of the village outside. Both elves were lost in thought, and waiting for the other to see who will speak first.

 "So much time has passed," Riani breathes, "it seems none remember what truly happened to Elvhenan. Even the stories the Dalish tell, only have the barest of truth. After the loss of "the Gods" _,_  they say our world plunged into chaos and war, then enslaved by the humans. The Elvhen twisted into shadows, our immortality lost, barely better than their captors. But it happened when you erected the Veil, didn't it? That was when we lost our connection to the Fade, the lifeblood of Elvhenan. How many died for what you did Fen'Harel? You would truly call that necessary for The People?"

_Can I really blame him for it?  Hate him for it, surely. But does the blame fall solely with him?_

She was close enough that she could reach out and touch him now, her head still upturned to meet his eyes, but her own were distant. "Was it worth it? Was your vengeance of Mythal worth everything that was lost? All the lives wasted in what came after, did you think you were doing them a favor?"

He stared at her in shock for her sudden outburst, or maybe because she spoke the truth. His mouth parted as if to speak, but no words came out and she cut him off before he could start. "All of this, for what?" The rage had left her, suddenly replaced by sadness.

He continued to explain what happened after he woke up too weak to unlock his orb, but she struggled to continue to listen. She got the gist of it, he caused the mess they were now in.

_He was always one of the most clever of his kin, the Dread Wolf, far less prone to the petty rivalries and wars than the others. How could he think this was wise? He doomed us all, for what?_

_"_ What was supposed to happen, Solas? If your plan had succeeded?" She asked, emotionlessly, too exhausted from the many emotions she felt in such a short time.

She was just staring up at him now, waiting for an answer she wasn't sure she wanted, her head was spinning from the days influx of information. He stared back at her with another unreadable expression, which she was starting to think was just how he trained his face to be when he was feeling the most. She opened her mouth to ask again but was interrupted by a small squeak and a crash from the cabin doorway.

Both their heads whipped toward the cause of the noise, a small scared looking elf who had silently entered the cabin when they weren't paying attention.  _Oh no, what did she hear?_

“Oh! I didn’t know you were awake, I swear!” the elf blurted out, anxiously.

Riani had turned away from Solas and was staring at the small woman, lips parted and an eyebrow raised in question. Annoyed at having been interrupted in their conversation, but also not wanting to scare the poor woman anymore than it already looked like she was, she forced herself to give a reassuring smile before speaking. "Why are you frightened? What happened?” 

_Kindness seems the way to go until I know for sure what she heard, it wouldn't do for her to go running to the humans with talk about the crazy elves who think they're ancient, and one of them a long-dead "god"._

“That’s wrong, isn’t it? I said the wrong thing.” the elf fidgeted in place as she spoke, staring intensely down at the floor as if she could disappear into it. 

"I don't think so, you haven't really said much of anything, da'len." Riani looked at her, concerned. "What has happened?"

"I beg your forgiveness and your blessing. I am but a humble servant," the small elf fell to her knees. "You’re back in Haven, my lady. They say you saved us! The breach stopped growing, just like the mark on your hand. It’s all anyone has talked about for the last three days!”

The shock at her words was apparent on Riani's face. “So you’re saying…. they’re happy with me?”

“I’m only saying what I heard. I don’t mean anything by it.” The elven woman's eyes widened in fear, again. “I’m sure Lady Cassandra will want to know you’ve wakened. She said ‘at once’!”

“And where is Cassandra?" 

The small elf backed up toward the door, “In the Chantry with the Lord Chancellor. 'At once,’ she said!” and with that she was gone.

Riani just stared at the now empty doorway in confusion.  _I wonder what they could possibly  want with me now. I didn't expect them to be pleased._

She's interrupted from her thoughts at the sound of someone clearing their throat, she whirled back around to Solas, irritated. "What?"

"I do not think the reason for her fear was caused by our conversation, Riani." He says. " It is most likely due to your new status with the people."

_The confusion just keeps coming._

"My status? As what?" She raised her eyebrow at him.

"I had meant to tell you before, before the conversation... took a turn toward other things. They're calling you 'The Herald of Andraste'. A blessed hero sent to save us all." She smirked at the sarcasm dripping from his voice.

"Am I riding in on a griffon as well?" she laughed, darkly. "Ridiculous."

He grinned at her, "sadly, they are extinct. Joke as you will, but posturing will be necessary." 

 "I can already tell this is going to be exhausting." She sighed, "I suppose I should go meet with Cassandra."

"It seems you must. I will remain here until the crowd you've gathered in your sleep has gone," he smirked.

"Crowd? Really?" She let out an exasperated sound. "Truly this day just gets better and better."

"Whatever it is your part may be, you must learn and play it well if you are to fix the Breach. The people of Haven do celebrate you for now, and the word of your deed is spreading fast. But you will at the very least need a cover story, for when questions of your origins inevitably come." He explains, "would the Dalish you have been with claim you as one of their own?"

_He's saying quite alot about what I must do, but not enough about what he will._

"They would, I had hoped to keep them clear of this," She said, brows furrowed in thought. "But I will write to their Keeper when I'm able. Very well, then call me Riani. I know that almost no legends of my kin survive, but it can't hurt to be cautious."

"Good luck then,  _Herald_." He slightly tipped his head as a goodbye, and sat down in a chair near the window.

She shot him an unimpressed look at and took a deep breath, "this is going to be interesting." 

She stopped before opening the door, turning once more to face Solas. "We are far from finished with this conversation, Solas. I hope you know that."

He looked at her, thoughtfully before answering, "I do."

"But your secret is safe with me, if mine is with you. Not that either of us has much of a choice." She gave a thoughtful look, and walked out the door.

_There will be plenty of time to hate him later, for now there are more important things to worry about._

 

 

                                                                                                      ~~~~~~~

 

_Okay Riani, you can do this._

She hadn't thought when Solas had said she gathered a crowd, that it would truly be so many. She froze in place just a few paces outside the cabin, shocked at the amount of people who had gathered outside.  _This must be practically the entire village._

Two lines of soldiers formed a path for her to walk through, holding the people back. She heard them speak about her as she passed through, she tried to keep a straight face, and look the part of the Herald.  _Whatever that means._

“That’s her! That’s the Herald of Andraste. They said when she came out of the Fade, Andraste herself was watching over her.” Someone "whispered" nearby.

She continued up the path through the people, many of who thanked her, or cast blessings at her as she passed. The reverence people had for her seemingly overnight, or she supposed over three nights, was staggering. She was almost overwhelmed with the power of it before she thankfully reached the Chantry doors, and disappeared inside.

Haven's Chantry was a modest stonework building that looked to be one long corridor filled with stone pillars, sparsely decorated with candles along the floor and torches on the walls, the floor covered in a very large rug. Along the walls were doorways and Chantry banners, and not much else. What it seemed to be completely lacking was people, eerily empty as she walked down the corridor.

After seeing the crowds of people, and the still visible Breach in the sky, Riani had decided she would play whatever part they would have her play in the days to come. No matter how little her knowledge was of this world, the Breach wasn't something she could just ignore, especially if she was the only one who could close it. It was clear that the humans needed all the help they could get, why should she not be the one to help them? What else would she do now that she was awake? She had no family to return to, no home, and no duties to carry out. Her life was her own for the first time in... well, forever. As she stared down at the mark on her hand, her mouth twisted into a grimace.  _Well, almost my own._

Taking a deep breath, she approached a door at the end of the hall, loud voices clearlyarguing from the other side. One of which belonged to Cassandra, and the other to the loud angry human from the camp ahead of the Breach.  _Chancellor.. Something?_

They were arguing about what should be done with her, and Cassandra was surprisingly on her side. Riani rolled her eyes at the voice of the loud man, and not wanting to stay out of the conversation any longer, she opened the door.  

 

_What am I getting myself into?_

_Fenedhis._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter got way longer than it originally was meant to be. I remixed the Haven wake up scene after the elf interrupted them with some trespasser stuff and original dialogue/ slightly changed in-game speeches, because the in-game stuff wouldn't have made much sense for my OC :)
> 
> Also, Andriani will be referred to mostly as Riani from this chapter forth, for the sake of my brain at not having to write both names.  
> Thanks to whoever is still taking the time to read this!  
> (Still have no idea what I'm doing)


	8. Leaving What We Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solas seeks out an old friend, conflicted on what he should do.

_"How many died for what you did Fen'Harel?"_

After a full, maddening hour of waiting in Riani's cabin, the masses had dispersed and he was finally free to leave. Her voice rang through his mind, angry and haunting him with the same sentence over and over. Very nearly the same one he's asked himself everyday since he woke up and mourned for this world, after seeing what his pride had wrought.

 He couldn't stay here in this place.

He could feel the wolf inside of him, furious and pacing. He needed to move, to get far away from this place and break from his carefully crafted persona of the calm, scholarly apostate elf.

So he started to walk, or stomp more like. He stormed past Varric who was staring at him strangely, the reason for which he could not be bothered to think about now. Continuing straight out the gates of Haven, he stalked off into the woods beyond, snow crunching beneath his normally silent steps. When he was sure he was far enough out of earshot of anyone in or nearby the village, he motioned with his staff and shot a fireball at a nearby tree which fell to the ground with a loud crack. Solas almost growled while pacing back and forth, the air charged with electricity, like right before a storm. He could not for the life of him stop thinking of the conversation they had. The vehemence in her voice, and the well of tears in her eyes, as she shook in her rage.

_"You would truly call that necessary for The People?"_

His anger flared, at her, at himself. Bits of the prideful god he thought he had long since lost, bubbled to the surface. Who was she to challenge him so? 

Does she think he doesn't ask himself the same thing? That the deaths of countless elves and the fall of the empire itself doesn't weigh heavy on his chest every night since he's been awake?

Taking deep breathes and trying to clear his mind, Solas carved small glyphs into near by trees. Some new, some old magics, protective wards so he could cross safely into the Fade while his sleeping body remained unharmed. He found a patch of leaves against a tree to lay down on, crossed arms over his chest and gripped his staff, and resigned himself to let his mind drift over into the Fade. 

It was as easy as breathing for him, and he set out through fade-constructed hills and onto a path through his favorite forest, searching out a friend. He needed counsel, and there was but one spirit he would trust it from. It did not take him long to find who he searched for.

The forest behind him vanished, as he entered the construction of a library long since lost, a memory of ancient scholars arguing unintelligibly over a scroll. His friend watching the scene intently, until looking up to greet him, a thoughtful smile on her face.

"It has been some time since you sought me out, Wolf. What is it you seek?" She spoke, straight to the point, knowing he wouldn't be there with her unless he required something, not now while so much in the waking world went wrong.

"Wisdom." He nods his head in greeting to the spirit, but he is still frantic, unable to coherently put together what he wants to say. "There is a woman- one from my time. She interrupted the Pretender's ritual, and now bears my mark. I worry she will ruin all of my plans."

The spirit laughs, " because they were going so well to begin with. You already know my opinion on your plans, Fen'Harel. They are folly, the past and all those who sleep should remain where they belong."

"I know your beliefs, I would not seek to change them. Yet I cannot let it be so, the people need me." He takes a deep breath, "but in truth I have decided to put them on hold, the Breach in the sky cannot be ignored. Even though I cannot remain here, the woman knows too much, I cannot remain and trust her to keep my secrets. I will find some other way to help."

"Who is she that you would run from her so?" Wisdom tilts her head in curiosity, never knowing Fen'Harel to run from something so trivial before.

"She was Andruil's chosen. I never thought I'd see her- any of her kind, again."

"She was someone to you before, then." Wisdom catches his slip, and gives him a knowing smile. "You cannot truly think it coincidence that she would wander right into events you set in motion?"

"What else should I believe?"

She pauses briefly before speaking, appraising the man. "You have been alone for so long, Dread Wolf. Try to take comfort in the fact that, should you choose to, you do not have to be anymore." The spirit places a hand on his forearm, "she may surprise you, if you give her the chance."

Solas narrows his eyes at Wisdom, "you know something." He studies the chosen face of the spirit, an elven woman, and she smiles at him.

"I know a great many things, it is how I came to be known as I am."

He looks at her, unamused. "Fine then, keep your secrets. It changes nothing, I cannot share in this burden. Not with anyone, I have too much to atone for."

Wisdom sighs, knowing this argument is one she will never win with the man. "Your cause was just, Fen'Harel. No one can know the outcomes of their actions before they happen. The burden of the faults of the past were never yours to bear alone, only you make it so." She states simply, as if she's said it a thousand times. " You were just the only one guided more by your conscience than by your greed. There is no shame in this."

He bows his head to her, "as always, your guidance is appreciated. I must wake now, and return before my presence is noticed to be missing."

"Dareth Shiral, Wolf." The spirit said, "don't give up so easily."

                                                                   

* * *

 

 

 Sitting up after he awoke, he thought on what Wisdom had said. There was a truth to her words that he couldn't deny, no matter how much he wanted to.

But even still, he was loathe to take a chance on anyone messing up what he had planned. Maybe he could stay, for now at least? He couldn't shake the feeling that Wisdom was keeping something from him, was it something important?

If she didn't tell him, it was because she wanted him to figure it out on his own, the spirit was never one for being cryptic without cause.

Solas sighed as he stood and prepared to head back to Haven, there was something he needed to discuss with Riani, before he made any decisions.

 

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a short chapter, I've been so busy ;_;


	9. New Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Recently returned from their first trip to the Hinterlands, Riani is excited over the newborn Inquisition, wanting to make a real change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is even still reading this, I'm sorry for the update delay, I lost two of my favorite chapters I had written for this work before I could post them, and it got me feeling really uninspired, and I'm still pretty sad about it but I don't want to let it stop me from writing.
> 
> The chapters will be shorter from this point, but hopefully more frequent as I get back in the groove of writing them.

Overwhelmed.

 

That was certainly one word for what Riani was currently feeling. Along with filthy and exhausted, having just returned from their first trek into the Hinterlands.

As much fun as it was to track down missing druffalo and convince Horsemaster Dennet to join the Inquisition, she was relieved to be back in Haven, if only for a short stop before leaving for Val Royeaux. 

The past month's events wouldn't stop replaying in her mind over and over, but that didn't make them any more believable.

Waking for what felt like the hundredth time of falling unconscious, with the Dread Wolf at her side, no less. Oh they would have words again, once conditions around them weren't so dire, she had been promising herself.

She couldn't believe that of all the Elvhen that had ever lived, it hd to be him that was actually here, she had barely started to think about what he had done, but she didn't have the time to reflect on it now. As much as she hurt, there were more important things happening.

The Inquisition had been reborn. With her as the Herald of a woman, a faith, that she didn't believe in. Couldn't believe in. Once someone had explained to her just what it meant to be the Herald, she was able to give it the indecent amount of thought it deserved and well..

 

Yes, overwhelmed was certainly the word she would go with.

 

Not that this would be her first dealing with militaristic movements. Far from it, in fact.

But her vast past experience was mostly based on the whims of spoiled kin, and their petty (yet expensive and highly deadly) squabbles over lands or power or well, dirty looks wouldn't even be that far fetched. But this? A key-player in a holy Inquisition birthed to change the world? That was way beyond what Riani could wrap her mind around at the moment.

To say nothing of the fact that they were.. motley at best. A rag-tag group of misfits and cast-offs. The Chantry itself didn't even support them, and they had a long way to go if they were to become any kind of real force. Even if she was apprehensive of her role in all of it, Riani was delighted with the challenge.

It had been a very long time since she felt she had a purpose.

She would be forever grateful to Clan Lavellan who found and possibly saved her life, cherishing them as if they truly were her clan, the closest thing to kin she had in this world, but her place was never with them. She was born and bred for war, and she would put her all into helping close the sky and to hunt down whoever was responsible for it. Even if she wasn't marked, if she weren't the only one capable of closing it. 

She could do without all the 'Herald' business, but she knew what it was like to need something to believe in, and she wouldn't be the one to ruin that for anyone.

 

Word of the Inquisition's beginning had spread like wildfire throughout the village, and you could feel it in the air like lightning, the excitement. The place was far busier now than it had been before they left, everyone occupying themselves tending to things that would prepare them for the what was to come.

As she walked toward the Chantry, she gripped the letter she had received from one of Leliana's messengers on her way back into Haven, it had obviously already been opened, but the familiar script across the front had Riani excited. No longer able to wait until later when she got to her cabin she read it while changing course toward Leliana's tent.

 

_Clan Lavellan offers greetings to the Inquisition and wishes it well in sealing the Breach that has opened in the sky. While some Dalish clans hate humans and wish nothing to do with them, Clan Lavellan has always dealt fairly with all and wished only for peace. That said, we have on occasion been forced to defend ourselves from those who saw us only as potential victims._

  
_It has come to our attention that a member of our clan is being held captive by your Inquisition. She went to the Conclave only to observe the peace talks between your mages and templars, and we find it highly unlikely that she intentionally violated your customs. If she has been charged with a crime, we would appreciate hearing of it. If not, it would ease our concerns to hear from her to know that she remains with the Inquisition of her own will._

 _We await your reply,_  
_Keeper Deshanna Lavellan_

 

"Oh, Deshanna." Riani sighed, happy to hear from Lavellan's overprotective Keeper. She wandered into Leliana's tent, eager to send a scout along with a missive for the clan. "Thank you Leliana, I'll reply to her at once." Taking a moment to think, she adds, "might we meet in the war room in an hour? I'd like to wash and eat, if possible. We've been riding hard since dawn and I fear I may fall over." It was true, they had just only just returned from their long trek through the Hinterlands and were already set to leave at dawn for Val Royeaux, and she was _dying_  to rest.

Leliana smiles, and it's a strange thing to see. She still isn't used to the humans who had just months ago treated her with such suspicion slowly warm up to the elf. Especially Leliana. The way that woman could keep and retrieve secrets, she could have been apprenticed to Dirthamen himself.

"Of course, Herald. I will send for a meal for your cabin, and gather the advisers so we can discuss how to approach your clan, as well as what you may encounter in Orlais."

 

* * *

 

Stepping out into the fresh evening air, Riani stretched and took a moment to just breathe. She had been inside the Chantry for the better part of the day, and now her mind felt like it was in a fog, due mostly to just how exhausted she was. Leliana had sent for a bath for her cabin toward the end of the meeting, and Riani was looking forward to soaking for a good long while.

They had gone over everything she needed to know about Val Royeaux, and problems they may run into, but the situation there was mostly unknown, so she would be more or less winging it.

After much consideration of how to approach the clan, she decided to take Leliana's advice and send a shipment of assorted goods the Dalish might be needing, along with a few of her Elven scouts and a handwritten reply to the Keeper, which was in Elvhen, mostly so Leliana could not read much of it very easily.

 She was nearing her cabin, when she saw Solas leaning against a wall nearby, waiting for her.

"Nuvenan ma son." He greets her in Elvhen, and she is comforted by the sound, almost as much as she is by his voice.

 "Ame, emma serannas." She smiles gently, "It is both strange and a joy to hear the language spoken so much like home, what can I do for you Solas?"

 "Something has been bothering me, and I needed to ask." He looks at her curiously,  "every great war has its heroes. I must admit, I am curious what kind you'll be."

 

 

 

 

"That's not really a question." Riani scoffs, before continuing. "I was born for war. I've been groomed for it almost from birth, trained in most arts of war to protect Andruil, serve her and.. if the need ever presented itself-" she cleared her throat as she trailed off, lost in thought. She let out a sigh and shook her head before continuing, "- I live and breathe for battlefields and politics, Solas. I will be the kind who wins."

He nods his head slightly, "that is usually better than losing."

 

She rolled her eyes at him.

 

"I will stay then, at least until the Breach has been closed." He says, looking resolved.

"Was that seriously in doubt?" She looks at him incredulously and makes sure no one is near before continuing, "You would cause all this and then leave me to clean up your mess alone?"

His eyes narrow at her accusation, " I am just a lowly apostate in this world, surrounded by humans and their Chantry forces, and unlike you I don't have a _Divine_ mark protecting me." He sighs, "I had no idea any of the people yet remain, as you do. No way of knowing how close you were, and that you would wander into the middle of my "mess". It was with luck that it was you who now bears my mark, whether that luck is good or bad has yet to be seen. Though I cannot begin to imagine what would have happened had it been a mortal."

She looks at him then, appraising his honesty. It certainly appeared he was being honest with her, and she gives him credit for that, at least. "Regardless of how this all started... you did come to help, Solas. I won't let them use that against you."

He looks at her like she had grown a second head, "How would you stop them, Riani?"

"However I had to." She looked into his eyes, hoping he felt the seriousness of her words. As much as she hated the idea, with his help she truly could make a difference here, no matter how it had begun.

"Thank you."

She pushes a strand of her unruly red hair behind her ear, before yawning. " You are joining us tomorrow for Val Royeaux, I hope?"

"Of course", he smirked, "what would you do without a mage?" 

 "I would do just fine with my own magic, thank you very much. But without a mage like you? Oh yes, whatever would I do without the lowly old Apostate?" 

" _Old?"_

"Well, older than I, at least, and everyone else here." She gave him a wicked smile, "Just repeating words from around the village, I didn't mean to offend. Ir abelas, _Hahren_." She looked toward the ground in mock sincerity, and he scoffed at her.

"Dalish humility becomes you, Riani." She looks up into the humor-filled eyes of the Dread Wolf, "You certainly picked up alot in your time with them."

Riani smiles at the thought, " I hope so. Even with all they have had wrong, they are trying. That is more than can be said about most."

The two become lost in silence with their thoughts, taking in the ambiance of nighttime Haven, the laughter from the tavern nearby or the crackling of the fires scattered throughout.

"Well, I have the most delicious bath and bottle of Haven's finest wine waiting for me, and I think I've kept it waiting long enough."

"Of course, Herald." Solas tilts his head slightly, "On nydha."

"Ea son, Solas." Riani says, "enjoy your time in the Fade."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I copied the Clan Lavellan letter right from the game, they don't need much changing. thank you to anyone still reading this, I'm trying to stay inspired!
> 
> *Elvhen translations* (Project Elvhen)  
> Nuvenan ma son - I hope you're well  
> Ame, emma serannas - I am, thank you  
> On nydha- Goodnight


	10. Blood & tears, they were here first

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riani bathes and falls asleep, and shares a dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story follows Elvhen lore very loosely, so please keep that in mind!  
> Sorry for the delay as well, balancing work and gaming and life and other fics, is not an easy task.

It took almost no time at all for Riani to pour herself a drink from the questionable bottle of dark alcohol left on her table, and strip off all of her clothing and sink into the large copper tub near the fireplace.

It was filled almost to the edge with steaming water and simple vanilla oil, and she groaned in pleasure as her muscles started to relax from her journey, and the tension melted away.

After scrubbing what she could of the dust and grime -that had become a constant and unwelcome addition to her daily life- off of her skin, she remained soaking in the tub well past it losing it's heat.

Tipping back the remainder of her drink, she closed her eyes, and drifted off into the fade.

                                                                                                               

* * *

 

 

Riani knew she was in the Fade. The dreaming always came easily to her, even though it was never something she would let herself enjoy. 

Millennia of memories to choose from, good and bad, she had almost too many to choose from.

It would be so easy.

But she always chose the same one.

The tipping point, thousands of years ago now, but ingrained deeply in her mind.

The day she gave up on her dearest friend, just months, by this age's measurements, before Mythal closed her off from the Abyss. Before Andruil would never return to herself, and would force her into the long sleep.

Taking a deep, steadying breath, she watched with eyes full of tears she refused to shed, as a scene played out before her, one she would never allow herself to forget.

 

_She was inside Andruil's Palace, or more accurately, her fortress. A large gilded mostrosity of a castle, lavishly decorated, it was home for millenia to Riani. Filled with people she cared for, and trophies of centuries of hunts. As she walked through the memory of it's halls, she stopped outside an archway, sounds of shouting coming from within._

_"I beg of you, nas'falon. Please, stop this, you are losing yourself!"  Riani nearly shouted in the empty room, even the slaves had fled at the sound of raised voices coming from the women, not wanting to find themselves the target of Andruil's ire._

_"I am losing nothing, Andriani. You overreact, and forget your place. I almost have power to rival that of my father, and that is no small feat." The Huntress waves a hand in the air, dismissing the idea._

_Riani's whole body quakes in anger and frustration, she should have tried harder, and maybe they wouldn't be here. It was all her fault._

_"I forget my place? My place is guidance. My place is counsel, to tell you what I think. My place is always to protect you, why won't you let me fulfill my duty?"_

_Andruil laughed, her voice deeper than normal, almost raspy. Even then, Riani loved the sound. Even if the Huntress was laughing at her, at her devotion. And she hated herself for it._

_"Andruil, please. You have had your fun, you have gained the glory and power you set out for in the Void." Riani falls to her knees in front of her Evanuris, and grasps a hand between her own. "You are the only one to ever venture as deeply inside, none of them can challenge that. Even if you will not tell me what you found, please I beg of you, do not return. It is destroying you."_

_Andruil looks at her, and for a moment Riani can see through the haze of madness, can see the woman beyond._

_But the Huntress shakes her head and yanks her hand from Riani's grasp._

_"Leave me." Andruil said simply, far too quietly, and Riani knew she was conflicted._

_"Andruil, I wi-" She was cut off by a sharp slap across her face._

_"I said, leave me."  The Evanuris spoke louder, colder, as she stared at Riani with fury in her eyes. "I will not ask again."  
_

_Riani stared up at the woman from her spot on the floor, holding her cheek with her hand, reeling from the slap._

 

The memory froze in place, as Riani sensed someone behind her, someone who had no right to see this.

"Enjoying the show, Fen'Harel? Does the memory of my heartbreak amuse you?" She spoke softly, but coldly. She knew he wasn't there for amusement, but she was angry and he was the only person to take it out on.

She felt him walk closer to her, until he was just behind her shoulder, she could see him in the peripherals of her vision, and she turned her head to face him.

He wore an empty expression, devoid of any feeling toward the scene before them. But his eyes gave him away, pity. Oh how she hated pity.

"I never knew Andruil well, never wanted to. Just the rumors that grew in number and got darker with each passing day, after she conquered the Void."

Riani Scoffed. "The Void was never a conquerable thing, if anything it conquered her, twisted her into it's image." She folded one hand across her stomach, and wiped tears from her eyes with the other, before continuing.

"I begged her, each time she left on another expedition into the Abyss, to stop.  She became less and less the dear friend I loved upon every return."

Fen'Harel remained silent, listening, but not adding his opinion. She appreciated it, she had never spoken of this to anyone before. The Lavellan Clan knew the basics of what had happened, but she didn't want to tarnish their beliefs of the Huntress farther than it already was. So she had kept her sad stories to herself, replaying them at night, punishing herself.

"By the end, she was a stranger. A shell of herself, cruel and violent and mad. A stranger to me, and a nightmare to her people."

Riani's breath hitched at the end, unable to hold in the emotion anymore. Why was she even telling him this? 

"I am sorry. I know that you do not need it, but I am. I know what it is to lose someone close, it is not a small thing."

"You have _no_ idea, Fen'Harel. The lengths to which I've gone, the things that I have done. All to save who I could from suffering at her hand." Tears were falling freely now, the ache in her heart she was unable to stifle any longer. Relief of speaking to someone of her pain, like a dam breaking, she couldn't stop the flood.

"Mythal may have made sure she could never go back, but the woman she had become by that point was no longer Andruil."

Solas was quiet for a moment, like he was wondering how to phrase the thoughts in his mind.

"Is that why you showed no reaction to what I've done? Why I felt far less anger from you than I should have, upon me revealing to you my hand in the fall?" He almost blurted out the words.

Riani gave a small smile, just an upward twist of her full lips. "By the time you had locked them all away, she was not herself. Why should I blame you for sealing away a shell? She brought it on herself, as they all did."

"Do you believe yourself to blame? For what she became?" He tilted his head at her in thought, pity in his eyes that she still slightly wanted to throttle him for.

"She listened to me, above all others, before." Riani started, unsure of how to go on. "If I had tried harder, pushed her toward some other goal, she would have remained her and never had her morbid fascination with the Abyss".

She stared at the memory of the women before her, unable to take her eyes from the fade-version of her dearest friend. "I will never forgive myself for that."

Solas placed his hand on her shoulder, and she jumped at the contact, before he pulled her to face him.

"She may have taken your counsel above any of the People, but she ultimately listened to herself. She cared for glory more than any of us, her fall is her own. You cannot be blamed for that."

She was taken aback by the seriousness of his voice, and the sharpness of his storm-blue eyes staring fiercely into her own.

She blinked, before shifting her gaze elsewhere.

"It doesn't matter anymore, Fen'Harel." she gently removed herself from his hold on her arm, as she waved a hand and her memory was replaced by the raw beauty of the Fade. "Thousands of years separate us from our regrets, necessary or otherwise. There is nothing I can do for them now, but remember them, and her, as best I can."

He looked over to her, after being distracted by her dismissal of her dream, and she was gone.

* * *

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the length, inspiration comes and goes so quickly, I had to get this out!


	11. Coffee & Cake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang takes a break in Val Royeaux, before returning to Haven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a dumb little fun fact, most of my Chapter Title's are names or lyrics of songs I listen to while writing this fic!  
> Okay, useless information out of the way :D
> 
> Now onto some light Val Royeaux fluff.

The journey to Val Royeaux proved uneventful, unlike the events upon arrival.

Even after the dramatic events of the morning, it was a pleasant change from the stuffy village environment of Haven, it was just so _clean,_ with wide streets and colorful market stalls lining every corner. Actual shops, with equipment made by professionals, and not just shoddily crafted bits and pieces made during wartime.

Riani smiled at all of the gleaming, gilded buildings that surrounded her, feeling happier than she had been in weeks. After spending her years since waking travelling with the Dalish and then in Haven, this was the first time in millennia that she had been in an actual city!

It didn't compare to Arlathan, of course. Or any Elvhen city, really, but she didn't care, she'd take what she could get.

They were wandering through the crowded streets, taking their time browsing the stalls before their journey back to Haven, Riani was staring intently at a group of highborn ladies nearby.

"Why do they ruin those wonderful dresses with those strange masks?" She mused to her newest companion, Vivienne. She was cold, snobby, and frequently condescending, masking insults behind carefully crafted compliments, she reminded Riani of home. 

"It's a show of family lineage, my dear. Like the quaint family crests of Ferelden. No two masks are the same if you look close enough, it would do you well to memorize them in the future."

Riani made a hum of agreement, while playing with a small trinket she picked up along the way, a pretty blown glass halla.

"Why would you wanna wear your family on your face?" Sera raised an eyebrow, that disappeared into her obviously self-cut bangs, a genuine look of confusion across her face. "noble gits, wantin' to show importance like anyone cares, only no one does."

"Of course you wouldn't understand, Sera. To have pride in where you come from, one must actually know where that is." Vivienne sniffed, disinterested in continuing with the obnoxious elf.

Riani loved Sera, her brash attitude and carefree humor, reminded her of Andruil before they grew up. 

She rolled her eyes at her two newest companions, but chose not to comment as they got louder, well, as Sera got louder. She was just so ecstatic to be among civilized society. Hated though she may be among Orlesians for her heritage, even though she was the 'Herald of Andraste'.

She tried her best to stifle her laughter at the nobles and their dirty looks, as if she were beneath them all just based on the shape of her ears.

Like their ability to lord themselves over shadows of the People and take advantage of opportunities given to them by choices of the Elvhen, somehow makes them better than everyone else. As if all of their customs and ridiculous displays weren't simple, handed down variants of stolen Elvhen culture.

It amused her to no end. 

She was practically skipping through the streets ahead of her party, before they settled into seats outside a busy cafe right off of the market. 

"You look downright giddy right now, Freckles." Varric said, eyes full of amusement.

Cassandra grunted at Varric's nickname for the herald, but had been otherwise silent throughout the day, her mood soured by the attitude of the template toward their group. Riani didn't want to interrupt her thoughts.

She smiled sheepishly, not thinking it was so noticeable. "Freckles, really? A bit.. on the nose, isn't it?" 

"Very funny. Just calling them as I see them, Herald."

Riani scrunched her nose in a show of fake annoyance, even though she was happy to have a nickname.

"We seem to be short a member of our band of merry misfits, has anyone seen Solas?" She asked, scanning the crowds around them and not seeing him anywhere.

"Chuckles wandered into a bookstore a while ago, I don't think he's come out yet."

She hadn't spoken more than a few sentences to Solas since the day he appeared in her dream, and that was over a week ago. Partly out of embarrassment of being caught in a weak moment, but mostly she just didn't know what to say. 

He had been kind enough to not mention it since, only speaking to her in answer to travelling questions, or when she had asked them all for suggestions on their actions in the Capital so far. But she had caught him mid-glance a few times, a mixture of pity and deep thought.

Even though she could do without the looks, she had felt lighter than she had in a long time. Having someone else see her most painful memory, someone to vent all of her (severely) pent up emotions to, she was grateful.

Maybe that was part of the reason for her recent good mood.

Not that she would tell him that.

But she didn't want to continue this path of cold disinterest that she was on now, she wanted things to be different. They could be friends, surely?

They were the last of the Elvhen, that she knew of anyway, wouldn't it be better to play nice? She didn't trust Solas, but that didn't mean he couldn't be worthy of it. He had come clean about most of his actions from the start, at least. 

The Inquisition was her fresh start, a chance to make up for past mistakes. It could be his too, if he would let it.

She reached out with her magic, curls of it floating above the throngs of people, searching for the the presence of his own nearby.

 She couldn't sense him anywhere, perhaps he didn't want to be found.

"We should order, I'm starving!" She looked over the heavy piece of parchment that the cafe's menu was elegantly scrawled on.

They weren't exactly flush with coin, but she had looted enough from bandits on the way to the city, as well as selling off equipment they no longer needed when they arrived, that she could provide a few good meals for her party.

"Let me order, I know just the things." She said deviously, this was going to be fun.

 

* * *

An hour had passed, and the table was full of trays of half eaten Orlesian pastries, and lovely crystal jugs of hot chocolate as well as Riani's new favorite drink, coffee.

"Enjoying yourselves, I see."

She looked up from taking a bite of her latest flaky, delicious choice, to see Solas standing behind her, amusement on his face.

"Oh Solas! We've been wairing for you. Hungry? I've discovered a new reason to love Orlais."

"You might want to grab one before the Herald eats them all and can't fit into her armor anymore." Varric chimed in.

Riani narrowed her eyes at the dwarf, "we won't be back here for a while, might as well enjoy ourselves a bit."

Solas sat down near her, and she felt the familiar swirl of his magic against her own. She couldn't tell if it was intentional, or a result of his mark on her.

 "We should probably head for the horses soon anyway, did everyone accomplish what they needed here? Plenty of daylight left, we should make good time on our journey for the day."

 "Headed back to Haven, then?" Varric asked her, packing up the letters he was catching up on.

Riani grimaced, the idea of leaving the city for more travel was not something she looked forward to, however necessary it was.

"Yes, I suppose I need to discuss our next moves with Leliana, Josephine and Cullen."

"Don't look so down, Freckles. We'll be back before you know it." Varric chuckled.

She sighed, "back to reality then."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Orlesians totally have delicious coffee, fight me. 
> 
> I know most of my chapters have been shorter than my older ones, and not full of much in the way of Inquisition plot, but we'll get back into the thick of it soon!
> 
> By the way, I LOVE criticism, or anything to let me know what anyone who reads this fic enjoys, feel free to give advice/ideas/critique in the comments!


	12. Stubborn Men

Riani had expected there to be some hurt feelings, some disappointed or angry glares from the soldiers and her council, even some harsh words.

What she did not expect was to be so thoroughly pissed off, and in the middle glaring daggers at Commander Rutherford. Not that he noticed over the sound of his own voice.

The others had taken her choice to meet with the mages in Redcliffe fairly well, Josephine and Leliana, while concerned, trusted in her ability to make decisions. Riani hadn't led them astray so far, and since no one else wanted to put on the big boy breeches and call out commands, she would continue to lead them as she thought as best.

But the Commander, he was another story.

Halfway through his first speech on how the Templars would do much better for the Inquisition than some mages, Riani had decided she didn't much like being talked _at_ by a Shemlen. Not talked to, not reasoned with, but talked _at._ As one would speak to a child who had voiced an opinion on something far above their ability to understand.

As she stood there vaguely listening to Cullen speak and watching to see how many shades of red his face could turn while he was speaking to her, she finally noticed he had stopped speaking.

"Well?" He gestured at her, obviously waiting for her input. If only she had been listening to him, she had stopped listening somewhere around halfway through "uncontrollable abominations".

The air around them grew far colder, a result of Riani's mood, and there seemed to be a collective wince directed toward the woman before she replied. She was normally in control of her magic, and her moods, but right now she was sore and beyond tired from the long trip back to Haven. She wasn't in the mood to play what she was quickly learning was everyone's favorite game, of soothe the shemlen. Since when did that become her job?

She longed for the days when her word was second guessed by none, people just did what she wanted them to do. 

"Ir abelas, Commander. I seem to have checked out somewhere there for a moment. You see, I'm not used to being lectured at about how bad my decisions are. If you're so sure that your way is the best way, how about _you_ take the mark-" She thrust her hand violently toward him, delighting only a little in the way he flinched back from her. "- and _you_ get on a horse, and ride back to your Templars. On the other hand -there's a pun in there somewhere, if I only wasn't so furious right now- _I_ am going to grab something to eat, collect _my_   team, and then ride to Redcliffe. Do you have any problems with this?".

He glared at her again and oh look, there was another shade of red for the record. When he stayed silent, Riani glared toward the rest of the advisors, while trying to rein in the shift in temperature that was affecting them all. Leliana looked mildly amused, while Josephine looked on the brink of horrified. When no objections came her way, she left the Chantry and headed toward the smell of cooking food.

 They had ridden hard all the way from Val Royeaux, barely stopping to water the horses and rest before starting up again. The uncharacteristically good mood she was in from their days spent in a city was long forgotten, Riani was getting tired of trekking through the wilderness for stubborn people who tried to oppose her decisions at every turn. The only thing that made it all bearable was that she could travel with such interesting people, none of them like the Dalish she had lived with since her awakening, she loved her adopted clan, but she had always wanted more.

Varric never failed to mesmerize her with ridiculous stories, most of which she was _sure_ never happened or at least that they were heavily embellished. Especially his Tale of the Champion, which she had picked up on their travels in some hut or another. Sera was so anti-elf it was almost comical, so Riani had started speaking fluently in Elvhen around her just to watch her squirm, which also seemed to amuse Solas as an added bonus, making the ride back to Haven with the two of them much more enjoyable.

She was fairly certain Sera was the one who kept sticking lizards in her bedroll at every camp, though it only served make Riani try harder to find other ways to piss the archer off.

 She strode into the tavern, preferring the questionable meals they served there to the charred, sorry excuse for meat that was usually found cooking closer to the soldier's encampment. She wandered over to an empty table, ignoring the people who raised their cups in greeting, and plopped down with very little grace.

Riani was too tired for posturing, too frustrated to be the shining Herald they all expected her to be. It was turning out to be more stressful than she had originally thought it would be, to play the part of Dalish Elf turned Herald of Andraste. Too many hopes weighed on her shoulders, too many people expected too many things. She just wanted to seal the Breach, be useful to the world she had awoken in.

She didn't want to be revered, especially not as something she was didn't want to be, as something that she wasn't. Part of her worsening mood stemmed from simply being the _chosen of Andraste_ , it made her heart ache, made her feel like she was betraying Andruil. In her own time everything she did was in the name of the Huntress, and she delighted in making her Evanuris happy and bringing glory to their lands. She was happy, fulfilled in a way that seemed so far away now.

It felt as if with every step she took, every decision she made, she was strengthening the belief of those around her and those across Thedas who spoke of her, in the belief that she was sent by Andraste. It made her loathe herself, and the weight of all the guilt and anger that she hadn't stopped to process yet was struggling to set itself loose. It was as if she had built a wall around her mind, locking up the parts of herself that she was still too tired to deal with. After all they were in war time, and that was no place to wallow in her past.

Though she knew she would have to make some time to deal with her emotions eventually, before they started to manifest any stronger than the cold air she had inadvertently summoned to herself with the Advisors. The last thing she wanted to do was accidentally set something, or someone, on fire. She was too powerful, could cause too much damage.

But how did she even begin to take down that wall?

She would jump in the freezing cold lake before she confided in Fen'Harel, though he was the only one who could come close to understanding. He was too great of a piece of the crumbling wall that was her grief and anger, to be a part of how she would heal herself. She wanted it to come down slowly, not be knocked down in one fell swoop. She didn't think she could survive if she had to deal with it all at once, nor would those around her.

"What can I get for you, Herald?" Riani looked up from her internal monologue into the eyes of the barmaid, who was eyeing her warily.

"Food. Ale. I am too tired to make any more of a decision than that. I trust your judgement." She mumbled, before the girl gave a slight bow and scurried off to the back.

"Rough day, Freckles?", Varric chuckled from behind.

All Riani could manage was a small noise of acknowledgement that sounded strangely like one Cassandra might make. He just laughed at her again before sitting down in the empty seat across from her. She didn't much care for being laughed at today.

"What is so funny, Durgen'len?" She spoke coldly as she glared daggers at the dwarf, who must have noticed by her tone that she wasn't in the mood for being joked with. 

He raised his hands in the air in mock defense, he had noticed after weeks spent travelling together that she only resorted to formal-sounding Elvhen when she was exhausted, or angry. But he had rarely seen her angry, or upset, none of them had seen true anger.  "Easy there, Herald. Just trying to lighten the mood, people are talking about the chilly reception you laid out for Curly. You okay?"

She sighed, feeling a spike of guilt at how she spoke to him. "I apologize Varric, that was unworthy of me. I'm just so tired, and if one more person judges me for decisions that I make today, I may just set them on fire."

He reached across the table and patted her arm soothingly, "well, we wouldn't want that. Though I do enjoy the mental image of the Commander's fur coat going up in flames."

Riani snorted, she enjoyed that image too. "Then who would lead the army? We could put Sera in charge, I suppose."

Varric laughed at that, a deep rich bellow. The thought of Sera commanding an army was quite the idea, though Thedas truly might not survive.

"You could give her a nice _Elfy_ title to top it off, wait- do elves even have titles? I guess you could just make something up with all that Elvhen you speak."

She smiled at him, sadly. A pang of something- guilt, pain, anger, she didn't much know which was prevalent, other than it stirred somewhere deep. Elvhen titles were beautifully poetic, and so much was lost while translating them to the common tongue. There was also the fact that any elf holding any kind of title was laughable now. 

Varric seemed to notice the change in her mood again, and grew quiet. "You sure you're okay? I've heard I can be quite the good listener, you know. If you ever need to talk, it can't be easy to bear all of Thedas' well-being on your tiny shoulders."

She looked up from the food that Nora had placed in front of her silently, almost unnoticed. He was looking at her thoughtfully, worry in his eyes. Did she really look so fragile that she had made Varric think she was going to burst at any moment? She really needed to sleep. She couldn't be the leader these people needed her to be if she was constantly irritable and exhausted. If only to make people stop looking at her with emotions like that, she would be better. 

Sitting up straight, poised almost nobly, she took a deep breath before speaking to Varric again in a much more cheerful voice. She could at least pretend for them, if it would help, if it would make them not look at her like _that_. For the companions who were slowly turning into friends, for the ones who they still hadn't met yet. She would do this for them all, and herself.

"Thank you, Varric. I may take you up on that offer, someday. But for now I would rest while you can, we're going to Redcliffe."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Redcliffe soon! It won't be the full quest, I plan on skipping around!  
> Thanks for reading <3


	13. In Hushed Whispers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riani & crew meet a new friend.

Riani hated alot of things about Thedas.

Travelling by dirty roads instead of Eluvians, the complete disregard for hygiene, the utter blandness of common food.

But the thing that she hated, above all else except for perhaps the plight of the elves, was how feared magic had become. How all mages are raised to fear themselves instead of embracing their nature, embracing the gift that used to be what everyone was born with. 

 Magic was a gift.

She herself had trained for centuries under the best tutors of Arlathan alongside Andruil, and if she had known how the future people would fear themselves just for the very sake of being born with power, she may have taken her lessons more seriously.

Or at the very least, she would have been more appreciative of the dour-faced elders who had taken years out of their own lives to train the mischievous Evanuris and her Chosen.

They certainly did not make their lives any easier, preferring to spend their time under tutelage playing tricks and being all-around insufferable know-it-alls. The pride of youth, that you know enough, that you are talented enough without the teachings of grumpy old women. 

As she looked into the face of Alexius, a Magister of Tevinter, she was not impressed.

He held the leash of scared mages, who willingly sold themselves to him, and he knew it. Riani was disgusted, and seething, but she would not let that show. Instead she played the part of naive elf, he seemed most receptive to that. He knew that he had something that the Inquisition needed, seemingly before the Inquisition even knew it themselves.

She found his timing curious, and wondered if it had something to do with the strange rifts outside of Redcliffe. As their meeting concluded, Alexius' son collapsed into her, leaving behind a note in her hand among the chaos. 

Riani waited until they left the tavern before opening the note among her companions.

 

_Come to the Chantry. You are in danger._

 

"Very descriptive, leaves very little to the imagination." Varric spoke from over her shoulder. 

"Maybe once we're done here you could give him writing lessons? Teach him how to add some more flair to his future notes of peril."

He snorted, " I'm sure his father would love that, maybe they'll take me on as his personal tutor, you don't hear of many dwarves in Tevinter."

Riani gave him a dry smile before they made their way from the tavern, "shall we go see what trap has been set for us?"

* * *

 

Upon entering the Chantry, the party was greeted with the sight of a man fighting off demons from a rift in the center of the room. Riani's first thought was that the man was beautiful, and obviously talented. She watched the way he handled himself alone with the demons pouring out of the rift, and was impressed at the sight. 

 The man called out to Riani and her companions once he noticed them, and the group made their way into the battle, making quick work of the demons with the help of the mysterious mage. Once they defeated the last of the hoarde, Riani threw up her hand and summoned the mark, slamming the rift closed. She was noticeably glad at how effortless it was becoming, after getting a hold on the magic running through her veins alongside her own. She glanced up at Solas, to see him staring at her with something like pride in his eyes before clearing his throat and tilting his head in the direction of the mage walking up to them.

"Fascinating! How does that work exactly?" The mage gestured at her hand as he stopped in front of her. "You don't even know do you? You just wiggle your fingers and boom! Rift closes."

Riani raises an eyebrow, trying and failing to hide her amusement. "Who are you?"

The man bows to her with a flourish and a devilish smile, "Dorian of House Pavus, most recently of Minrathous. How do you do?"

Cassandra interrupts the introduction, eyeing the stranger with curiousity more than anything else. "Another Tevinter. Be cautious with this one."

The Iron Bull also warns her to watch out for the pretty ones, which causes her to flirt back a little.

"Aren't I pretty, Bull? Shouldn't you be worried about watching me?"

Bull laughs and it echoes throughout the Chantry, "I'm _always_ watching you, Boss. You don't have to worry about that." He waggles his eyebrows as he leers at her.

"Anyway." Riani shakes her head and turns back to Dorian, "I apologize for my suspicious friends, but it seems Tevinter is not much liked here."

"True enough, I suppose. Though I should warn you that I'm far more delightful than your average Tevinter mage." He didn't seem offended by her companions remarks, though she couldn't really be sure what he was hiding under the surface. He seemed a courtly type, and she was no stranger to the Game.

"Magister Alexius was once my mentor, so my assistance should be valuable- as I'm sure you can imagine."

It was Riani's turn to be suspicious, did he want to join the Inquisition? Far be it for her to turn down help, especially from someone so talented. His origins might raise a few questions from the advisors, and Haven as a whole. But if he asked, she would not turn him down. 

"I was expecting Felix to be here. Is he not?"

"I'm sure he's on his way. He was to give you the note and then meet us here after ditching his father."

Is there something wrong with him? Alexius couldn't get to his side fast enough when he pretended to be faint."

Dorian waved off her questions, telling her that he had been ill for months, and it scared his father to have his only son so sick. 

"Hmm. So are you a Magister then?" Riani wasn't sure how things worked in Tevinter more than she knew about Ferelden. Though she was learning quickly, although it didn't really seem to her that the hierarchy mattered so much with the Chantry breathing down everyone's necks regardless. Dorian explains to her that he isn't a member of the Magisterium, though he is a mage from Tevinter. 

"So you're the one who sent us that note, I take it?"

"I am. someone had to warn you, after all."

"Well I'm not quite sure why you're betraying your mentor, but ma'serannas all the same."

"Is that a thank you? I confess I haven't had much chance to speak to any elves that speak Elvhen."

"Any who aren't slaves?" Riani cocks her head to the side.

"Well I meant southern elves, the Dalish and such. But yes, I suppose you're correct. But to answer your other question, Alexius _was_ my mentor.  Meaning he's not any longer, not for some time."

Riani studies the mage's face, looking for some hint of an agenda or a falseness that wasn't present. When she didn't immediately speak after he had finished, he started up again.

Look, you must know that there's danger. That should be obvious even without the note."

"Being in danger isn't exactly new to me, you know. It's practically my state of being, and I've been fine enough so far."

Be that as it may, you didn't find anything strange about Alexius claiming the allegiance of the mage rebels out from under you?"

Riani grimaced. She hadn't been able to shake the feeling that something was wrong with that even before stepping foot into the Chantry. 

"Yes, I had thought it was strange. Almost as if-"

"-By magic, yes? Which is exactly right. To reach Redcliffe before the Inquisition, Alexius distorted time itself."

"Impossible." Her brow furrowed and she glanced at Solas, who looked just as perturbed as she did.

Solas spoke to the mage for the first time, "That is fascinating, if true.. and almost certainly dangerous."

"So if what you are saying is true- and I'm not saying that I believe you yet- he arranged it so he arrived in Redcliffe right after the Divine died?"

"You catch on quick." Dorian said. "The rift you closed here? You saw how it twisted around itself, sped some things up and slowed others down. Soon there will be more like it, and they will appear further and further away from Redcliffe."

"The magic Alexius is using is wildly unstable, and it's unraveling the world."

 

* * *

 

After Felix finally arrived at the Chantry, he explained to everyone that Alexius had joined a cult called the Venatori and whatever he had done to time itself, was done to get Riani. But none of them knew _why_. Of course, she did have the shiny mark of Fen'Harel on her hand. But how could a man from Tevinter know all of that from so far away?

While news of the Southern Divine's death was huge, if he had made it so he arrived just after her death.. there was know way he could have known ahead of time unless he was in league with whoever had done it.

This Venatori, was troubling indeed. Especially if they were obsessed with Riani, with the Inquisition. 

That is how they were on their way into Haven now to discuss what they had learned with the advisers, Dorian in tow. She couldn't exactly say, 'thank you for the information, ser. Best of luck on your way back to Tevinter.'

Well she could have, but she found herself liking the mage the more time she spent in his company. He also truly wanted to help them, to fix what his mentor had done, and she couldn't say no to that. 

 

 She only hoped that the rest of the Inquisition would feel the same way.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of Dorian's dialogue was taken straight from the game with my own additions. I'm probably going to skip alot of the pre-Skyhold scenes from here, because 13 chapters of Haven is making me feel a bit silly. 
> 
> Thank you, as always, for reading. <3


	14. Where Have You Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Redcliffe Castle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Skipped over Redcliffe Castle! I'll be moving the story forward alot faster from this point :) <\- Typed out a year ago. Oops.
> 
>  
> 
> Oh gosh, it's been almost a year since I've updated. I feel horrible, but that's life. I do have the next three-ish chapters written and only need to be edited though, so they really will be alot faster from here on. Thank you to those who have left comments recently, they really helped kick my ass into gear and get this out <3

The Inquisition camp was cold and quiet, unusually so for the group.

 

Riani was staring a hole in the ground from where she sat huddled against Dorian, as they shared a bottle of liquor that neither of them could name. They were the only two who were brave enough- or maybe just traumatized enough- to drink from the bottle that looked like it had been through a lot over the last Age. The two of them sat quietly together, barely speaking as the sky darkened above them bringing an end to a day Riani wished she could forget but knew that she never would. 

 

_Riani watches as Leliani puts arrow after arrow into the demons that flood the hall, she moves to help her but Dorian holds her back. She struggles against his grip, needing to help, to do anything._

_"You move, and we all die!" He yells to her, she immediately stills against him. Nodding furiously, she stays in place as Dorian continues his spell, but refuses to look away as Leliana runs out of arrows and is quickly overrun._

 

Dorian nudged her with the bottle, bringing her out of the memory and she looked over at him with tears in her eyes. She wiped at her face quickly with the back of her glowing hand, grabbing the bottle and taking another large sip. She looked over across the camp where Cassandra and Varric sat, playing cards and pretending not to be watching her.

It hurt to look at them after what she had seen of the future, to have the image of all of her friends corrupted by a year of red lyrium burned into her mind forever. Thankfully they had not tried to pry too hard for what Riani had seen, she didn't think she could explain it yet. She dreaded getting back to Haven because she knew it would need to be in her report. 

That was only one of the reasons, another was that she knew she would have to answer the questions of what happened in the castle for the Commander and the Nightingale. How could she explain what was at stake for the entire world? How could she tell them about the future that waits for all of them if they, if she, failed to stop it? 

 

* * *

 

   The foursome arrived in Haven just after midday, having ridden hard not wanting to make camp for another night. Riani hoped that she didn't look half as hungover and miserable as she felt. After she and Dorian had finished off the mystery bottle last night she had gone back to her tent in hopes of dreamless sleep, but she wasn't that lucky.

Her trip to the Fade was plagued with images and memories of the gruesome future. She almost wished Solas had been there, but then immediately regret that thought. She was glad he had volunteered to ride ahead, because she would never want him to see her that way, and she doubted after seeing him in Redcliffe she would be able to look at him the same. Her memory of him made her feel her failure more acutely than any of the other memories seared into her brain. Cunning Fen'Harel, brought low and maddened by the horrible lyrium. 

Seeing him like that brought too many things to the surface, memories of a different Evanuris who suffered a similar fate because Riani could not convince her to change her path. She didn't know how thousands of years hadn't dulled the pain and the guilt, but she did know that whatever price she had to pay to stop that from happening to him and to everyone else who was slowly becoming so dear to her was, she would gladly pay it. 

She walked up the steps to the Chantry immediately upon their return, after telling Cassandra and Varric to get food and rest and asking Dorian to meet her shortly in the Chantry. Ignoring everything and everyone, she focused only on the path ahead. She knew Leliana would have already gathered the rest of them and she wanted to get this over with quickly. She was in no mood for the hour of questions she would surely be in for, but she couldn't avoid it forever.

She walked into the War Room, glancing up to see that rest of them were already standing in their usual spots. Josephine stared at her with something uncomfortably close to pity in her eyes, while Cullen glared angrily out the window, and Leliana looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to fill in the gaps that her scout could not.

 "Well then, shall we get started? Where would you have me start Leliana?" Riani spoke to the rogue as she settled against the war table, not wanting to waste time anywhere else. Cullen would have to wait his turn to yell at her. 

"The report sent by my agent was far from thorough, I assume there was a reason for this?"

Riana nodded her head sharply, sighing before she continued, "I didn't trust a messenger to accurately give information, and I didn't want to have to tell it more than once. Alexius used an amulet to send me and Dorian through a rift, I think it was quite unintentional, but we ended up in the dungeons below Redcliffe Castle. It wasn't just as simple as he transported us to the dungeons, but he also thrust us forward in time, to a year into the future."

She watched as they processed what she was telling them, thinking that they were taking it better than she would have, had someone told her they visited the future.

"The cells of the dungeon were filled with those I travel with, though they were all corrupted and maddened by red lyrium." She continued, trying not to let the emotions that the memories brought up show clear on her face. "We learnt from them that Alexius is not the threat, merely a lackey of a man they call the Elder One, the one behind the cause of the Breach. At the time we arrived, this Elder one had an army of demons at his disposal, and had assassinated the Empress of Orlais, and had taken over Thedas."

She felt a hand on her shoulder, and turned to see that Dorian had quietly entered the room behind her. She smiled sadly at him, before looking back to the others as Dorian stood by her side. "This is what is at stake for us, if we fail. I know that there is no way that I can possibly explain to you all the depth of the horror that we experienced, but I am asking you to trust me when I say that we cannot fail.” 

She waited in silence for anyone to speak, to ask questions, but the three of them were silent. She looked to Dorian, and he looked just as haunted by the memories as she felt. She reached over and squeezed his hand, drawing him out of it.

”Dorian, will you stay? Help me, help us to stop this Elder One? “

He looked at her for a moment, surprised. “ I’m so very glad you asked, so I didn’t have to. I would like nothing more.”

 “Herald...” Josephine began, interrupting Dorian and Riani. “Can we speak of this, possibly in private?”

Riani knew that she meant without Dorian present, most likely to talk her out of keeping the Tevene mage from staying with the Inquisition.

”I’ve made up my mind, Ambassador. Do you think that this evil will stop with this side of Thedas? Tevinter is in just as much danger as the rest of the world, and Dorian has just as much right as we do to be here to fix it.”

She smiled softly at her before making notes, “if that is your wish, Herald. I will make arrangements for quarters for Master Pavus.”

Riani nodded to her, “I appreciate it greatly, Josephine. If anyone has thoughts on the matter, you are welcome to send them to me.”

Cullen scoffed, drawing Riani’s attention.

” Is there something you would like to add, Commander?”

“Did you stop and think at all before you offered the mages an alliance? Do you understand what you’ve done? They are on their way to Haven, and we do not have the manpower to watch over that many mages. Do you know how much carnage even one abomination can cause?”

Riani kept her demeanor calm, though she felt anything but. She would get nowhere if the two of them were constantly butting heads, she needed him on her side.

”Would you rather I had left them in the charge of a Magister? Dozens of apostates under the control of an extremist, devoted to the cause of the reason for our Inquisition?”

She watched him, patiently waiting for him to understand the reasoning behind her actions, instead of letting the Templar in him foster hate that was ingrained in him for decades.

”Commander, Cullen, I could have easily conscripted them to the service of the Inquisition. Effectively leashing them to our cause, but that would make us no better than the Magister they sold themselves to out of fear for their safety. I will do whatever it takes to make Thedas safe, but I will not stoop so low as to force people against their will.”

“I understand, Herald. I only want you to understand the difficulty in making sure all of Haven is safe.”

She felt immense relief that he was not fighting her on her decision, their jobs were hard enough without fighting each other. She would do better to make sure they all understood one another.

”I appreciate your concern, Cullen. Josephine and Leliana as well, I couldn’t do this without any of you.”

The group of them spoke a while longer, Leliana making her aware of people who had written for help and places that may be of interest to her and her companions. The meeting was drawing to a close, and she handed Leliana a roll of parchment, her reply to Deshanna, to be delivered to her hands only by one of the Nightingale’s scouts.

As the meeting ended, Riani walked out of the Chantry as the sun was disappearing behind the mountains, stretching her arms and legs, still sore from the day’s ride. She looked up and spotted Solas watching her while leaning against the wall of the building. She was tired, exhausted from the events of the day, and still unsure of what to say to him. 

"Solas, did you have any trouble on your ride ahead?" She settled for lamely. The mage walked toward her as she walked the path from the chantry toward her cabin, falling into step with her. 

"No trouble, Herald. It is good to see that you all made it unhindered as well. Are you alright?"

She worried at her bottom lip as she thought about what to say, tired of talking about Redcliffe as she was. She just wanted to forget for the night, and be the Herald again tomorrow.

" _Dine with me tonight? Truthfully, I could use the distraction. I need to speak our language, I need to be myself. It will take some weeks for the bulk of the mages to travel here from Redcliffe, and I'm sure there will be much work to do in the coming days. But tonight I need the company of someone that knows me, even if only just a little."_

She spoke to him in Elvhen, surprising him. He didn't speak, but he nodded his acceptance and she smiled.

"Good then. I need to wash off this day first, meet me at my cabin in an hours time? I will send for dinner to be delivered there instead of the tavern."

"Ma nuvenin, Riani."

"Thank you, Solas. Truly." She touched his arm as she parted with him, finally reaching her quarters. 

* * *

 

After washing the road off of herself, Riani opened the wardrobe to find that it had been stocked with a few more items since she had been gone. Choosing a simple dark green tunic and soft leather leggings, she dressed herself and threw her hair into her signature messy braid that fell down her back. She found that she could never be bothered to attempt doing anything else with it, especially after being so worn out by travel.

She set the small table with two glasses and a bottle of wine while waiting for the meal she had sent for, making sure the tavern knew that it would be for two. She found herself nervous suddenly, annoyed at herself for the need for company. She had endured far worse than what she had dealt with this past week. Why was this getting to her?

A knock at the door interrupted her thoughts, and she opened it to see Solas and not a servant. She smiled and opened the door for him while stifling a yawn. 

" _Bored of me already?"_ He spoke to her in Elvhen, and she snorted. 

" _Exhausted from human travel, I don't know why I volunteered for this. How they suffer the dust and dirt roads I will never understand."_

 

 Solas chuckled at this," _It isn't as thought they have much of a choice, with the state the Eluvian system is in."_

_"True enough, I suppose. I remember the looks on the faces of the clan when I tried explaining how Eluvians worked. Of all the things I'd explained to them, that is what they found most strange."_

He chuckled at that, and she wandered over to the table to pour wine. She knew that she shouldn't feel so comfortable with him, or treat him so familiar, but when you're tired and on the brink of what might be the end of the world or your life, you can't be faulted for feeling nostalgic. That he happened to be the only one around who could understand the world and all the wonders of it that were lost to time, that wasn't her fault. She had to keep reminding herself that it was his. 

 " _You speak fondly of them."_

She turned back to Solas, glasses of wine in hand, and smiled as she handed him one.

 " _I suppose I grew to care about them. I spent nearly three years in their company, being nursed back to health from as weak as I was. Teaching them as well as learning from them. If it weren't for the clan, I'd still be rotting away in the ruins of where I was left behind."_ She shook her head before the depressing thoughts could take hold of her mood, " _I didn't always feel so grateful toward them, I imagine they were quite sick of me in the beginning."_

_"But you endured, adapted to their ways?"_

Riani thought about it for a minute, making a small hum of agreement.

" _I suppose in some ways I did, yes. It took me some time to get over what I had lost, as well as not knowing why or how I'd ended up there. It didn't make me the most pleasant person to deal with, and for weeks the only ones brave enough to come near me were those who had woken me up. But over time I became better at dealing with it all, and they became more settled with my presence. After a while I just wanted to feel needed again, so I put my wisdom to good use. I taught them better ways to do things, corrected errors in their knowledge, helped keep them safe when they were threatened. So yes I suppose I am quite fond of them."_

Solas was quietly thinking on what she had said, and she took the opportunity to curl up in her chair and stare at the fire enjoying the quiet. She wasn't someone who enjoyed sitting around, too many years of work and training ingrained into her. She always wanted to be doing something, being active, keeping her mind occupied. But there was more than enough of that to go around lately, there were fewer and fewer times for her to just  _be._

A soft knock on the door interrupted her thoughts, and she looked up to see Solas already standing to open the door. The elvhen servant stepped inside, looking between the two of them nervously. She smiled and pointed to the table, "just there is fine, thank you."

The elf made an attempt at a smile that didn't quite turn out, and made haste for the door. 

When he was well and clear, Riani giggled as she stood to check what he had brought. "I wonder when they'll all stop looking at me like that." She uncovered the platter to see two bowls of something she couldn't name but that smelled amazing, with bread that was still warm and another bottle of wine. 

"I imagine it will only get worse over time,  _Herald."_

"Ugh." She said around a mouthful of bread, "would you like to be the Herald instead? I really don't mind giving it up, we could trade places. I could be the wise old apostate and you can run around closing rifts and being stared at everywhere you go."

"Somehow I don't think anyone would believe I was you, Andriani." 

"Well of course not I have all of this hair, too much of it really,  and you have, well-" she gestured to his head and he snorted at her.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading <3


	15. In Your Heart Shall Burn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Breach gets closed, good times are had by all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit more skipping around ahead, though I do touch on the important things.

   The weeks had come and gone quickly since Riani had recruited the mages, and since then she had returned to the Hinterlands to help with relief efforts for the ravaged villages and even ventured on a quick trip to the Storm Coast, returning to Haven with a Grey Warden and a mercenary band led by a fascinating qunari. Varric had made fun of her for collecting strays, comparing her to Hawke and how they always seemed to come back with someone new from their adventures. Riani quite liked her group of companions, all of them unique and talented in their own ways. 

When they had returned, the mages from Redcliffe were settled into Haven, and Leliana told her that the Inquisition would all depart for the remains of the Temple of Sacred Ashes in the morning. There was still much to do, only now Riani wasn't allowed to do any of it.

Rest, they tell her.

Save her strength for the next day, when she'll attempt to close the tear in the sky. She wanted to tell Josephine and Leliana where they could shove their rest, but that wouldn't be very Andrastian of her.

As if it would be very hard to do with much of her strength returned and dozens of mages to draw from, but it's not as if she could tell them all she was immortal and didn't have the same limits as the average mage. She knew that she did have limits, of course. Mana exhaustion was no fun at all and if she wasn't careful she would burn herself out and spend another few days unconscious while she recouperated. She wanted to avoid that again, if she could help it, so she would rest.

She wandered through the camp speaking to her companions, and to soldiers, to anyone who wanted to speak with her really. It helped to put everything they were doing into perspective, and she wanted them to look at her like she was a person like them and not a religious icon to fear or revere. She found that speaking to them, drinking with them, taking her meals in the tavern or with the soldiers helped her accomplish this. 

She didn't understand why it bothered her so much, being intimidating to those around her. 

It certainly wasn't the first time, she had been unapproachable practically her entire, long life. But that fear was due to who she served, never because of her own actions. She had always made sure she treated everyone with respect, no matter who they were. From the slaves bound to Andruil, to the nobles who clamored for pointless recognition, even enemies in battle. 

But here in the Inquisition, it was  _her_ deeds and  _her_ reputation that made her intimidating and Solas was right, with time that would only get worse. She had to put a stop to it now, before that happened.  She didn't want to be the Herald of a faith she didn't believe in, but if she had to be, she would not be feared by anyone except her enemies. 

 She walked into the tavern, smiling at the raised mugs and shouts of greeting. Looking around for anyone she knew, she spotted Dorian in a table in the corner facing away from her. She smiled and walked up behind him putting her hands on both his shoulders and moved her mouth closer to his ear, "isn't midday a bit early for drinking?"

Dorian jumped slightly at the contact and made Riani giggle.

"Well you see, the charming people of Haven seem to have trouble accepting any help from a "Vint." But here in the tavern they don't have any trouble accepting my coin so, alas, here I am. Why are you here if it's so early?"

"Well, I'm not  _allowed_ to do anything of use to anyone today, Leliana's orders. So I have no reason not to drink, really."

She called over to Flissa, who smiled at her. "I'll have one of whatever he's having, and he'll have another."

Her and Dorian chatted for a while before the drinks arrived, she enjoyed his company immensely and frowned, thinking upon what he had said.

"Do the people give you much trouble, Dorian? For being from Tevinter?"

He smiled at her dashingly, "it isn't anything I'm not used to by now, darling. I can handle the words of southern simpletons, but you might want to think twice about being seen with me too often."

Riani snorted before throwing back the rest of her drink, "I will spend my time with whom I please, Dorian. I might die tomorrow closing the hole in the sky or the day after that, doing Maker-knows what in the name of the Inquisition. I care little for the whispers of bored individuals, and besides, I find you delightful."

"Well obviously, I  _am_ delightful. But thank you, Riani. That means alot to me, truly. Now enough of the heart to hearts, I don't think I've seen you drunk before."

He waved over Flissa and asked her to just bring them a bottle of alcohol, anything that wasn't wine. It didn't take long for Riani to start feeling fuzzy and she giggled.

"It takes embarrassingly little alcohol to get me drunk I'm afraid, as I never really have much of a reason to drink here, and alcohol was mostly just for celebrations with the clan. But I suppose being banished from being useful, _and_ it being our last day before closing the sky is as good a reason as any. So I'm sure you will see it if we continue like this for much longer."

Dorian poured them each a cupful of the dark liquid, nudging hers to her before downing his own. She picked up the cup and swished the liquid within, before downing it as he had.

"Creators, that is disgusting." She said, chills running down her spine with the taste of whatever that concoction was. "You could have warned me."

"Where would be the fun in that? If I have to suffer through it so do you. Besides, you get used to it."

"What _are_ you doing?" A voice said nearby, startling the pair.

They turned toward the entrance at the question, and saw Commander Rutherford staring at them with a serious face that Riani was sure he was stuck with from birth. The thought made her giggle, and the Commander turned his eyes to her and raised his eyebrow.

"I'm sorry, I was just thinking how strange you must have looked as a child stuck with such a serious face, or maybe that's the expression you reserve just for me, Commander?"

"He would be much more pleasing to look at without the stick lodged so far up his-"

Riani covered Dorian's mouth with her hand, stopping him from finishing his sentence. "Shhh, Dorian. He doesn't like me very much, but he is pleasing to look at- for a templar." She slurs, whispering loudly. 

" _Ex_ -Templar." Cullen muttered, looking as if he was caught between being irritated and amused at the sight of the near-drunk Herald. "Do you think you should be getting this far into your cups in the middle of the day, Herald?"

She snorted. " It isn't as if I have anything better to do, Commander. Leliana has banned me from all productive activities, therefore, tavern. Unless you have a better suggestion of a way to spend my time?" She propped up her head on one hand, and looked up into Cullen's eyes. 

"Perhaps I should escort the Herald back to her quarters?" A new voice said, and Riani's eyes widened. She must be drunker than she thought if she didn't feel it when he walked in. Her power- his power- it felt as if it reached for him everywhere he went. 

"Ah, Solas! So many handsome men in one room, lucky me."

Dorian chuckled, "perhaps we have had enough for now, Riani.  Well- you've had enough. I don't want to be responsible for you being unable to rally and seal up the sky."

"Oh yes, the dread mage from Tevinter, who crossed the world to get me drunk. Quite an effective plan, though I did most of the work myself."

Solas cleared his throat loudly behind her, and she rolled her eyes. "Yes, hahren. I am quite finished here, but I am not a child I can escort myself home. _Thank_ you very much."

She stumbled slightly as she stood, and two different sets of hands reached out to steady her, both of which she batted away lightly.

"I'm fiiiine." She drawled, "it's not as if my quarters are far from here, I am perfectly capable of the journey, thank you."

She walked out the door after saying her goodbyes to Dorian and stopping to thank Flissa, ignoring the men who followed her at a safe distance away.

Really, she thought. Overprotective of the mark, and her usefulness. It certainly couldn't have been about her, especially for Cullen, he probably would have been overjoyed if she fell down a hole and never came out.

It was quite foolish of her to drink so quickly, but she was still a capable woman. She hadn't needed to be saved by a man once in her life, and she wasn't about to start now, no matter how handsome they happened to be. As she approached the doorstep of her cabin she turned on her heel, quite gracefully she thought, and glared at the men pretending not to follow her. 

"I am going inside now, don't worry. No need to follow me any longer, I don't intend to fall into my tub and die and lose your only hope of closing the breach, you needn't worry about the mark. Good day."

She realized that she hadn't said that aloud before now, hadn't voiced her concerns of being cared for as an object instead of as a person, hadn't even wanted to think the thought in her own head. Her thoughts had turned melancholy too quickly, and she blamed the alcohol. 

She saw the look on Solas' face before she turned, and he looked almost hurt.

 

* * *

 

   They arrived at the temple a few hours after dawn.

Riani had pushed them all to leave before sunrise after she had woken from her early evening of sleep, not wanting to delay any longer after being kept from doing anything of worth for long enough. She marveled at the hole in the sky, feeling the power seeping from it. She heard Solas behind her telling the mages to focus past her, let her draw power from them. The mask of apostate slightly slipping into that of a General, used to commanding mages with ease in a time far from this one.

Riani took a deep breath before summoning forth all of her power, she felt it dance across her skin like lightning. If she concentrated on it, she could feel where hers ended and Fen'Harel's began, the two twining together into one almost perfect blend. It should not feel so natural to her, she thought to herself. Remembering the look on his face when she had called herself an object, why did he look hurt by it? 

Shrugging off the thoughts for another time, she focuses instead on drawing on the mana of the many mages behind her. She could feel each individual thread of magic, all different and all using their will to strengthen her own. 

She felt unstoppable. 

At least until she struggled forward toward the breach itself. Riani focused every ounce of power within her toward closing the Breach above, throwing her arm toward the it with a scream, she pulled on the invisible threads of the Fade and felt as it responded to her power and her will and was thrown back by the force of it. 

She landed on her back several feet from where she stood, and was momentarily dazed but surprisingly still conscious. For once.

She looked up, blinking the blurriness away, and saw Cassandra staring down at her worried, extending a hand toward the elf. Riani took it and sprung to her feet.

"You did it!" Cassandra said, voice full of quiet surprise, like she didn't believe that it would actually happen before applause exploded around them. 

It was done.

Months of preparations and travel, all of the new companions she picked up along the way, every bit of hard work that contributed to their victory. She was happy as she looked around at the Inquisition, saw the admiration of the soldiers and the mages, her friends and advisers. It was a huge victory for all of them, but it didn't feel as final as Riani would have liked. 

They still had the Elder One to worry about, and finding him would become a priority very soon. But not today, today they would celebrate. Though with considerably less alcohol than she had consumed the day before.

 

* * *

 

 

The mood around Haven was considerably light, she could feel the happiness in the air around her. The sounds of laughter, the smell of roasting food, and the music being played all lent to the atmosphere of the night. She had stepped away from it all, and was taking a moment to breathe and enjoy the quiet when Cassandra came up to her.

“Solas confirms the heavens are scarred but calm. The Breach is sealed. We’ve reports of lingering rifts, and many questions remain, but this was a victory. Word of your heroism has spread.”

"I hardly accomplished anything on my own, Cassandra." She sighed, "It was luck that I stumbled upon the mark, I'm still not quite sure if it was good luck or bad, but it was luck all the same."

“A strange kind of luck. I’m not sure if we need more or less. But you’re right. This was a victory of alliance. One of the few in recent memory. With the Breach closed, that alliance will need new focus.”

 She mindlessly twirled her necklace between her fingers, nodding to Cassandra as she thought on what she said.

"You do that a lot, you know."

"Hmm?" 

"Worry over that pendant, I've seen you do it when you're thinking." Cassandra said. " It is a beautiful necklace, I've never seen anything like it before yours."

Riani smiled sadly, of course she wouldn't have. It was a Bloodstone pendant, magically crafted by Andruil's personal goldsmith. They were common enough among nobility in Elvhenan, but they would be considered far too close to blood magic in this day. They were made from a mixture of the blood of two different elves, magically separated into two stones. 

"It was a gift from someone I cared for greatly." Riani said, "sadly they are no longer here."

They were usually shared by by lovers, or parents and children. Rarely they were crafted for ranking members of militia, or slaves considered too valuable to lose. But they were usually a trinket of great love and affection, one that could be used to locate the other, wherever they were in the world.

Her own pendant was a mixture of her own blood and that of Andruil herself. Powerful in her time, but almost useless now. She had tried to use it after she had woken up, but felt nothing from it but silence. It made sense now, what was left of her friend being locked beyond the veil would do that. 

She wondered if Andruil still held the other half, or if it had been destroyed. She liked to imagine that she kept it, and wears it even as she sleeps locked away.  

A commotion nearby, followed by screaming interrupted her thoughts. She looked toward Haven and beyond, noticing that an army marched down the side of the mountain.

"We must get to the gate." Cassandra said, drawing her sword before rushing toward Haven's entrance. Riani drew her bow, glad now that she hadn't stopped to unpack or change after returning from the Breach. She followed Cassandra to the gates, where they encountered the Commander giving orders to his men.

"I've had a watch guard report that it's a massive force, the bulk of which is making its way over the mountain."

"Under what banner?" Riani was confused, she knew they weren't exactly making friends, but who did she anger badly enough that they would march their army into Haven?

Cullen looked as serious as she had ever seen him, when he replied simply, "none."

 

A disturbance came from just beyond the gate, a voice calling from beyond.

"I can't come in unless you open!"

Riani motions for the guards to open the gate, just in time to see a boy in an absurdly large hat finishing up a kill. 

 "I'm Cole, I came to warn you, to help! People are coming to hurt you, you probably already noticed this."

She blinked at the strange boy named Cole, "what's going on?"

"The templars come to kill you."

"Templars?" Cullen spoke, "is this the Order's response to our talks with the mages? Attacking?"

"The Red Templars went to the Elder One, you know him, he knows you. You took his mages." Cole says as he points toward the invading force on the mountainside. "He's very angry that you took his mages."

Riani looks over to the mountain, battle plans running through her mind as she tries to figure out what to do. She hadn't planned for this, none of them had. If they didn't move quickly, everyone in Haven would die. She turned to Cullen, who looked like his thoughts mirrored her own.

"Cullen." She spoke, throwing off all formality of calling him Commander, "give me a plan. Anything. "

"Haven is no fortress, if we are to withstand this monster we must control the battle, go out there and hit that force with everything you can." He drew his sword, no longer speaking to her. "Mages, you have sanction to engage them. That is Samson, he will not make it easy. Inquisition, with the Herald!"

It would have been a rousing speech if Riani didn't believe that the most they could do would be to hold off the majority of the templars until as many people escaped as possible.

Looking around for as many of her companions as she could find, she saw Cassandra was still with her, as well as Sera. Iron Bull, Dorian and Blackwall had taken off into the thick of it, trying to thin out the enemy numbers and save whoever they could from the village. Vivienne could be seen in the doorway of the Chantry, helping people to get inside, as it would be the last defense if they failed to keep the templars at bay.

That left Solas unaccounted for, she closed her eyes and concentrated on trying to find his magic. He was nearby, she knew, and he was alright. She couldn't waste anymore time, she would try to find him on their way through. She called on Cassandra, Sera and Cole to join her and they fought their way through Haven to reach the trebuchets, it was their best shot at stopping the enemy. 

Riani was still weaker than she would have liked after closing the breach, so she relied heavily on her bow in battle, conserving the majority of her remaining mana to keep barriers up on her companions. Upon finally cutting a path through the Templars and reaching a trebuchet, Riani fired it and buried as many as she could in the snow. 

Cheers were heard nearby, but they were swiftly cut off when the trebuchet was destroyed by what looked like a corrupted dragon.

"Of course, because why wouldn't he have a dragon?" She sighed. "We need to return to the gates, we have no chance against that thing, not from here." 

As the group made their way back to the chantry, Riani spotted Cullen and Solas ushering people into the Chantry. 

As soon as everyone they had found made their way into the Chantry, she pulled Cullen off to the side. 

"What are our chances, Cullen?"

He looked at her, sorrow in his eyes. " At this point- just make them work for it."

Riani sighed and nodded, running out of any ideas that would keep the people- her people- safe. They had saved as many people as they could, but there were heavy casualties. The chantry was their last hope. But hope for what? To die hiding? To be crushed to death as the Elder One and his beast destroyed the building with everyone inside?

Riani guided the last of the villagers to safety, as Cole was holding up the angry shemlen Chancellor Roderick, "He tried to stop a Templar, the blade went deep. He's going to die."

"What a charming boy." The Chancellor wheezed, obviously in a great deal of pain. 

Cullen ran up to her then, explaining how horrible their position was, as if she didn't already know. She listens vaguely as Cullen and the boy talk about the destruction the dragon will bring, while she tries to think of something, anything she can do when she hears Cole tell Cullen that the Elder One doesn't care about Haven.

He cares about _her_.

of course. It was about the mark, not just the mages.

She slipped easily away from the conversation, and the men having it, and prompted by her earlier conversation with Cassandra, took off her necklace while she searched for Solas. 

She knew what she had to do, and she was running out of time.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Riani delegated some of her in-game work to her companions. I'm sorry but if I had that many people around, I'd get them to do some of the leg work. In-game dialogue and a mix of my own, as well as skipping over a few minor things and changing some stuff around. We are (finally) almost done with Haven!
> 
>  
> 
> Sorry for any errors, and thank you for reading <3


	16. In Your Heart Shall Burn Pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For anyone interested, I listen to a playlist while I work on this and Throughout Time.
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/user/hannahbradway/playlist/3mQMv9tES29zYACCZEpz41?si=Jc1iN7ykTYKQwibdXZhShg
> 
> Also I have a tumblr, http://thepiratequeenangel.tumblr.com , and am always looking for an excuse to use it!

     Riani moved quickly through the chaos of the Chantry, getting frustrated the longer it took her to find Solas. 

 If she was going to accomplish anything she would have to leave soon, before anyone tried to stop her. She only had to make sure that if she was lost, that she could be found again by someone who knew how. The surest way to guarantee that was to give her necklace to Solas, only he would know how to use it in case something went wrong. 

 _When_ something went wrong.

She didn't have any grand notions about surviving this day, and that was- fine with her, if she was honest with herself. She would meet this Elder One, and slow him down, give the others time to find some means of escape, or she would die trying. She had grown attached to these people, all of them. Even the ones who didn't care much for her, they didn't deserve to die. She had seen the world that Thedas would become if the man who called himself a God succeeded in his goal, and this world deserved its best chance. 

Finally spotting the bald head of the elf she was looking for, she called out in Elvhen, knowing it would get his attention.

_"Solas, I would speak with you, if you can spare a moment. Quickly."_

He strode over to her and she noticed the blood covering his tunic, and the look on his face. "I am fine, Herald." He spoke in common, ignoring her worried look. "I have lent my abilities to where the were suited best, but we have had casualties and I fear the worst is not over yet."

"I know. That is why I must ask that you listen to me now, and please do what I ask of you." She unwrapped the long chain of her necklace from around her hand, and held it out to him. "You know what this is?"

Solas nodded at her, not taking his eyes from the pendant. " A bloodstone, yes. I had not noticed you carried one with you, was it-"

"Yes, it was from her." She cut him off, they were running out of time. "I need you to keep it safe for me, Solas. If I am lost you can use it to find me, I'm sure you remember how to use them."

"Lost?" He looked confused, her meaning had not caught up with him yet. "What are you going to do, Riani? I am aware that you are formidable, but we stand no chance against that pretender and his beast."

She smiled sadly, "I only need to slow it down, that I can do easily."

His eyes widened as he processed her words, and then narrowed in anger. He grabbed her by the arm, and pulled her farther away from anyone who might hear them speak. 

_"You would trade yourself for the lives of these people? Knowing that you almost certainly will not return? Why?"_

_"This world deserves a chance, Fen."_ She had never called him that before, and was surprised how easily it came out. She had come to care for him, just like the others. " _He will tear this world apart until it is nothing but fire and blood and death. I know that what it is now is so far from what we have come from, but it is better than the future I've seen. If Thedas is to have any chance at all, it will be because of the Inquisition, so it needs to go on. I have lived long enough to understand that, and so have you."_

_"What if you don't survive? You know that I won't be able to find you with this unless you live."_

_"Then I will try my best to do just that- but if I don't, please keep it safe. It is the last thing I own that has any meaning left for me. It is the last part of myself and of her that I have."_

He didn't speak, just bore his eyes into her own as if he was trying to understand.

He finally nodded, taking the pendant from the palm of her hand. She opened her mouth to speak, but closed it again. She couldn't think of anything to say that didn't sound like goodbye.

 

As she was making her way out of the chantry, Cullen stopped her. "Chancellor Roderick has told us of a path, it may lead to the mountain past Haven. But we don't have-"

"Will it work? He's sure it's there?" She interrupted him.

He nodded once stiffly, "he is sure of it's existence, by the Maker we may be able to get out."

"Then I will buy you time to do so."

"What of your escape?" He asked, fear for her in his eyes. When she remained silent, looking past him and out the door of the chantry he continued, "perhaps.. you will surprise it, find a way."

She looked back to the Commander finally, smiling at him. "Not likely, Commander. But I thank you for your faith in me, even if it was only at the end."

He bowed his head in shame before clearing his throat and turning to speak to the Inquisition. After ordering them about he spoke to her again, "I'm sending men to load the last trebuchet, they'll hold the Elder One's attention until we're above the treeline. If we are to have a chance, if you are, let that thing hear you."

She nodded to him, turning to finally exit the Chantry. 

 

* * *

 

 

      She walked through the destruction that was once Haven, a place she had been starting to consider home. The templar army had razed it almost to the ground, and the dragon hadn't helped things.

Her companions had wanted to join her for this, had been waiting for her outside of the Chantry, not giving a second thought for their own safety, they wanted to stay with her while the rest made their escape. She had talked them out of it, they were needed with the others, she needed them to keep their people safe. 

As she made it closer to the trebuchet, to her goal, she heard a blood-curdling screech and looked to the skies. The dragon swooped down from the sky and she rolled out of the way just in time to avoid his horrible fire. 

 She struggled to get to her feet, disoriented from the noise and the chaos. When she stood, she saw the terrible abomination that must have been the Elder One, walking through the fires beyond. He was hideous, and obviously an old thing. 

But he was no God.

The ground trembled as the dragon landed in front of her, and she almost fell to her knees. The beast approached her slowly, an attempt to intimidate her, make her fear it. But she didn't, she had slain greater beasts than this. It screeched toward the heavens above, and she was getting sick of the noise. 

"Pretender, you play with forces beyond your ken no more."

 "I do not fear you, old thing. I am no more a pretender than you are."

"Words mortals often hurl at the darkness, once they were mine, but they are always lies."

Riani couldn't take her eyes off of his horrible face, his skin stretched across what remained of his face. She needed to keep him talking, keep him busy. 

He continued, " Know me, know what you have pretended to be. Exalt the Elder One, the will that is Coypheus. You will kneel."

Riani had a hard time keeping a serious face as he said those words, her innate stubbornness triggered by the monster. She knew she would be better off playing the scared elf, the naive mortal. But she was too proud to let him talk to her as such.

"You have a better chance of meeting your maker than that ever happening, I have refused to kneel for far greater beings than you will ever be."

"You will resist, you will always resist, but it matters not."

She had given up trying to keep him talking by this point, especially once he had continued on to telling her he was going to remove the mark. 

His palms filled with magical energy, and she felt the mark respond.

It felt as if he was ripping it from her skin, peeling it back layer by layer and she felt pain like she hadn't felt in a very long time, perhaps ever. She bit down so hard on her tongue to keep from screaming that she could taste her own blood, as she fell to her knees she tried to think of something, anything that she can do. 

He continued to speak down to her, as if she were nothing, but Riani couldn't focus on anything but the pain. He lifted her by her wrist, thrusting her into the air so quickly that she struggled to wrap her mind around it. 

He spun his story about breaching the Fade, and finding it empty, before he tossed her easily into something solid. Riani felt her back hit the hard surface, and all the air was pushed from her longs as she slid to the ground. She looked up, and saw that she landed against a trebuchet.

She laughed, and blood trickled from her mouth. Looking up into the sky, she saw a flame shoot into the sky beyond the mountains. _Perfect timing_ , she thought to herself. 

She picked up a sword off of the ground nearby, brandishing it at Corypheus. 

"I thought I might have to die, to keep you here." She said, looking toward the trebuchet. "But I will not die today."

She struck at a chain on the device, and it launched its load toward the mountain.

The air itself shook, and Riani took a few deep breaths as she watched the snow roll down the mountainside. The avalance distracted both Corypheus and his beast, long enough for her to make a run for it. She dove into an old mining shaft, barely avoiding being buried alive.

 

* * *

 

   Riani opens her eyes, trying to will them to adjust to the darkness. 

Her entire body ached terribly, and she had to lie still for what felt like hours before her body would cooperate in getting off of the ground. 

She checked herself for injuries, and found that she had at least a few broken ribs, most likely from the fall. Her body was most likely covered in bruises, and her mana was running dangerously low. She arched upwards, and felt pain in one of her ankles, meaning it was sprained, at least. 

Her mouth twisted into a frown, and she could feel where it had crusted over in dried blood. 

She needed to get out of this place, and then she would find the others, or die trying. She felt better, knowing that she had saved them from Corypheus. But she needed to return to them, what if he had flown off and found where they went?

She needed to hurry.

 

* * *

      Riani limped through the worsening snowstorm, shielding her eyes as best she could. She was mostly covered, but there were holes in her armor, as well as her face uncovered, and it felt like she was being blasted with sand.

She couldn't tell what time of day it was through the haze of snow and dust, but she knew she had to continue forward. 

After a while she came across the remains of a fire pit. The fire was long since put out, but embers burned still. She couldn't have been far behind. 

* * *

 

   She was thirsty, so thirsty that it hurt her throat to breathe. She didn't know how long she had been walking along the mountain path, she only knew that she wouldn't make it much longer. 

She had followed the trail left behind, it must have been for her. In case she had survived her encounter with Corypheus. She silently thanked whoever had the foresight, whoever believed that she would survive. 

Her mind drifted to Solas, surely he had used her pendant by now?

Unless..

She didn't want to think the worst.

Haven had been filled with capable people. They had all made it out, she was sure of it. She just needed to survive long enough to catch up to them all. 

Her leg gave out suddenly, and she cried out in pain. Her voice was drowned out by the storm, and she sat knee deep in the snow, until she heard a voice.

Riani looked forward, and saw what must have been lit torches through the haze. 

She sighed in relief, and she could almost cry from the strength of it. Before she could call out, the world started to spin, and she fell over into the snow. 

The last thing she remembered was the warmth as she was picked up easily by a strong set of arms, and then she drifted into the Fade. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading <3


	17. Footsteps in the Snow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little bit of Solas POV, before Riani's return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the tiny chapter, we're so close to Skyhold I can taste it!
> 
> You guys, I have so many chapters ready to post. I feel so accomplished, I might be consistent with the fic for the first time since I posted it.

He was a fool.

His mind replayed for him over and over, their last discussion. How she gave herself so freely for this fledgling Inquisition, caring more for their lives than her own. How she had cared for his life.

Her plan had worked in the end.

With the Herald distracting the invaders, he and the rest of the organization were able to move the civilians and the injured from Haven through a secret exit known by that horrible human Chancellor.

They had made camp not too far away from what remained of Haven, leaving a trail as they went. Everyone was unsure of their course, where they would go now.

They had also hoped, far more than he had, for the Herald to walk through the snow like she hadn't just sacrificed her life for them all.

With her pendant in hand he wandered a distance away from the camp, where he was sure he wouldn't be disturbed as he attempted to locate Riani. 

It was a simple thing, only requiring concentration and a knowledge of who you were trying to find. He sat on the ground, controlling his breathing as he settled into a meditative state. 

All he had to do was follow her aura, pull at the threads of her that connected with her necklace. All one had to do was be sure of which essence to follow, and he knew where the other would lead, to the place where the Evanuris slept beyond the Fade. 

Riani hadn't known how dangerous her necklace could be in the wrong hands, he was sure she had just assumed that Andruil's essence would lead her nowhere. 

While that was true of the waking world, if she somehow ended up in the Fade again, like so many humans had said she came from before- she could follow that pendant easily to where his kin were kept. 

He would keep that to himself, though he knew she didn't possess strength enough to access the Fade physically. 

He focused on her aura, on all the things that made her, _her_. 

On the surface she was beautiful, but it continued far past that, deeper into her soul. How easily she could persuade people to join her cause- their cause. He had seen the looks on everyone's faces as she spoke to them. She had such a soothing presence, she saw it in the faces of everyone she spoke to. 

She made people feel important, valued. From the servant who waited on her, to the soldiers she was often found laughing and drinking with, to everyone in her inner circle. No one was beneath her notice, and they all felt it. 

It would have been so easy for her to remain closed off, to show them all that she was better than they were. To command respect, but not foster their love. But she chose the more difficult path, the path that had earned the trust of those around her. 

He truly did not know how she had remained such a rare and beautiful soul, under all that she had been through. Retained a humility and grace that he had not expected from one who had spent millennia in the service of Andruil. 

She had surprised him- she changed things, she believed in the good of this world. He could feel himself starting to see what she did, and that scared him. He could not afford to feel anything for this world, or anyone in it. 

He realized how much time he was spending thinking of her, distracted by her. He blushed slightly, though no one was around to see it. 

He focused this time, eyes shut in concentration, and pulled on the threads that bound her to her pendant.

He located her quicker than he thought, and he shook off the dread he was bracing himself for. What would he- would any of them have done if she had died, her body lost and buried in the remains of Haven?

He shook his head, making to stand and locate the Commander. 

They would go to her, and bring her home.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading <3


	18. The Dawn Will Come

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's a third chapter in three days!

     Riani woke with a start, bolting upright and feeling regret for it soon after. She put her palm to her temple, her eyes closed so tightly she saw stars, as she willed the world to stop spinning. 

"Carefully, falon. You've been out for quite sometime. I imagine you'll feel it for quite a while."

She spun her head to the side, only now noticing that she was on a cot placed in a tent. She saw Dorian, asleep on a chair placed inside. To the right of him was Solas, who hadn't turned around and she could smell the mixture he was tinkering with without seeing it. 

She spoke quietly, trying to avoid waking her friend. "How long was I out this time?" Her voice was hoarse, and she struggled to speak. She suspected that effects from a sleeping draught were only now wearing off. 

He turned to her then, holding a waterskin in one hand and a potion in the other. " it's been a day since we found you in the snow, your injuries were severe. I've done what I can for the majority of them, but you will be in some pain for a while."

She took the drink from his hand as he offered it, and drank greedily before he could take it from her again. He held out the potion and she took that as well, holding off on drinking it just yet. 

She nodded her head in thanks, and looked around at the tent and down at herself. 

She was no longer in her armor, but stripped down to a tunic and her leggings and footwraps. She could feel the bandages around her chest, and was irritated at the restrictions they placed on her movement. She placed a hand at her throat, and was relieved to feel that he had placed her pendant back around her neck. She blushed slightly at the thought of Solas being the one to undress her and change her clothing. 

She cleared her throat and pulled the wool blanket closer to her chest to combat the blush and the chill that she felt, even with the warming runes she could see on the floor, as well as the torch placed in the corner. 

"You passed out as soon as we found you, it is a wonder that you did not succumb to the cold and your injuries long before you did."

"I am relieved that you found me, I honestly wasn't sure that it would still work." 

"It is bound to you, Riani. It will always work, though I am relieved to have found you as well."

She sighed and smiled gently at him, before gesturing to the sleeping mage. "How long has he been in here?"

"He has not left your side since we brought you to camp, many of your circle have tried to get him to leave and rest but he refused. It took quite a bit of mana to heal you, I'm ashamed to admit that I could not do it alone."

Riani frowned, "truly?" She hadn't realized how close she had come to dying. She shivered slightly at the fact, even though she had accepted it might have happened. She was relieved to have survived, to see everyone again. 

"Were the losses great? From Haven?"

Solas shook his head, " some did not make it, unfortunately. But many were saved, Riani. Your actions saved us all. The humans revere you more than ever, the defender they witnessed buried as Haven was buried, your return was... not expected. They think you risen from the dead by the will of their Maker."

She snorted, and winced in pain because of it.  

She moved to stand up, and arms shot out to steady her as she tried. She accepted the help and the hand that lped her up, as much as it hurt her pride to do so. The majority of the dizziness had left her, but her side hurt from the effort of using her muscles to stand. As soon as he had helped her up, he returned to mixing potions and she was glad for it. 

She glanced out of the tent, seeing the advisers nearby arguing among themselves. Whatever they were discussing was growing quite heated, and they were obviously getting nowhere.

"How long have they been at each others throats?"

Solas sighed, "for hours, at least. They cannot decide where to go next."

"I have to go out there, don't I?" She made a face, and she heard Solas chuckle behind her as he continued his work. 

She liked the sound.

"Your presence would no doubt help, I'm sure. But do not over-exert yourself, please. Unless you enjoy the amount of time you spend unconscious."

She glared at him, even though he couldn't see it, before silently knocking back the potion she'd been holding and leaving the warmth of the tent. She wandered closer to the arguing trio, none of them noticing her approach.

"Enough."

She spoke, attempting to be commanding but it had come out irritated instead. Just the same, she supposed. It was quite annoying, not to mention embarrassing for them to be arguing openly, in front of everyone. That couldn't have been good for morale. 

"Herald, you are awake." Josephine smiled at her, while Cullen stared at her wide-eyed and Leliana crossed her arms, ever calculating. Cassandra strode over to her, looking like she wanted to crush her in a hug, before stopping herself. She placed a hand on her shoulder instead, looking relieved that she was awake. 

"How could I not be? I'm sure you can all be heard fighting across the camp and beyond."

All of them had the sense to look ashamed for that, she was glad to see. It wouldn't do for them to show their fear and uncertainty, they had to remain a strong and united front for the people. If the rest of them were losing hope, she would hope for all of them. 

She had made it this far, had almost died for them.

She would help find a way off of this frozen hillside if it really did kill her. 

"If you are going to argue, have the sense to do it away from the civilians, if you please. We have lost enough, without them losing their faith in us. The only way we will figure any of this out, is together."

"-Herald, a moment of your time, if you would."

She took a deep breathe before turning to the voice behind her, he had obviously interrupted her before she could add her anger to the already public display. 

"We are not done here." She spoke to the advisers, who all looked like children caught doing something naughty. 

She turned on her heel and followed Solas as he started off toward a secluded cliff beyond the camp.

 

* * *

 

   

     A day had passed since she had woken again, and it was spent packing up the camp and preparing everyone for the journey to Tarasyl'an Te'las.

Or as the humans called it, Skyhold. 

They had packed up everything that they could, and made sure the injured were on horseback or otherwise carried and could make the journey they had now started. It would be another day or so until they arrived, and even Solas had not been sure of what they would find when they got there.

But, it was a chance. 

A chance at a fresh start, and for them to have a safe place to recover from their attack and displacement from their home. It would boost morale greatly, she was sure. They were in great need of that.

The good mood and hope that could be felt in the air at her return, was starting to fade. People falling into doubt and fear for their safety and lives, worried at being lost in the mountain pass.

Riani trusted Solas at his word. That in and of itself was strange to her. _Trust._  In Fen'Harel. 

She didn't know how everyone around her accepted his many, "I've seen it in the Fade" excuses. But she was glad that they did, and would be glad for however long it would last. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had someone ask, so I thought I'd say it here as well, when are Riani and Solas going to get together?
> 
> And the answer is, I honestly don't know.
> 
> As the tag states, it's a slow burn. They both are obviously starting to feel things for one another, but they are also both their own stubborn selves. They have goals that aren't quite aligned, as well as different moral positions and fears for the future that are only made more difficult by the feelings they're building for one another. They are stubborn, and neither one wants to be the first to admit how they feel, and that will play out in several chapters in the future!
> 
> Sorry for the long note, I just wanted to make that clear!


	19. Inquisitor Lavellan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SKYHOLD.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WE MADE IT GUYS.
> 
> Also, I have so many chapters ready to post I feel so accomplished. 
> 
> I might actually be consistent for a change.

They had made it. 

The relief that Riani had felt upon seeing Skyhold for the first time was overwhelming, and shared by all who followed. 

The fortress was massive, and easily defensible, it would keep them safe. It needed surprisingly few repairs for such an old place, much to everyone's excitement. 

They had been there for three weeks, so far. Three very busy weeks of cleaning and small repairs, whatever they could do to make it inhabitable for the foreseeable future. Entire sections of it were still closed off, or too dangerous to explore. 

Riani felt like she found new things every day, and she loved to explore all of it. 

There were buildings that they were only just now talking about finding uses for, and a building that had been designated as the Tavern. Sera and Bull had considered this a matter of great import, and along with the chargers had set to cleaning it out and setting it up as quickly as possible.

The main hall was large, and mostly intact. There was a hole where the roof had caved in at some point, but was easily fixed. The hall itself led to the majority of the different places, and Riani had mostly learned her way around it. She loved watching as everyone worked together, and grouped off to clean up the places they deemed most important. 

There was a sense of camaraderie and purpose among the people that had been lacking for so long. She was glad they were able to give it to them, and Skyhold was becoming something beautiful to behold. 

Each of her companions had set themselves up somewhere different, and she found herself wandering between all of them, helping where she could. They had it all well in hand though, and usually she was shooed off to rest or given a task they found would be easy.

They were still handling her as though she were delicate, though most of her injuries had healed in the weeks they'd been here. She loved them all for caring, but Solas himself had cleared her for "strenuous physical activities", though why he had to phrase it like that she had no idea. 

It had led to all manner of jokes about which physical activities she could take on, and she had just about tired of them all. 

Since she was often refused, however politely, from doing physical tasks, she often found herself in the company of Josephine. Helping with planning for the immediate future, or writing letters to this noble or that, establishing trade suppliers for food and building materials, after the Antivan had seen how lovely her penmanship was.

She enjoyed the woman's company, and found that even though the work required little to no physical effort, she ended her days just as exhausted as if it did. 

Riani had forbid them all to discuss anything important, or argue, in any common area after the display she had witnessed weeks ago when she woke up. It had become obvious that they were looked up to, and examples needed to be set. 

They needed to appear united, even when they were not. 

One such place she had deemed appropriate for this was what Cullen had dubbed the War Room, off to the side of the main hall and past a hideously ugly throne.

 So the four of them often spent a great deal of time there, when they weren't off doing their separate jobs. It had been a rocky transition at first, but the longer they worked together the smoother their operation had become.

The Inquisition had started to become something they could do a lot of good with. 

She walked through the courtyard, stopping to speak to everyone as she passed, before she noticed she was being beckoned by Cassandra to where the advisers stood, whispering conspiratorially. 

She raised an eyebrow at the display as she walked toward Cassandra. She noticed, with a great deal of suspicion, that the others dispersed while she did so. 

Cassandra starts to walk, and Riani keeps pace with her as she speaks. 

"They arrive daily from every settlement in the region, Skyhold is becoming a pilgrimage."

Riani smiled at that, she had noticed that their numbers grew larger with every passing day. The word of their deeds had started to spread, and many wanted to become a part of it.

"If word has reached these people, it will have reached the Elder One. We have the numbers to put up a fight here, but this threat goes far beyond the war we anticipated. We now know what allowed you to stand against Corypheus, what drew him to you."

Riani looked down at her hand, remembering with a shiver the pain she had felt when he tried to rip it away from her.

 "He came for this, he failed in his attempt to pry it from me. But it's useless to him now and he knows it, and he would see me dead."

Cassandra leveled her with a serious stare, "The anchor holds power, to be sure. But it is not why you are still standing here. _Your_ decisions let us heal the sky, _your_ determination brought us out of Haven. You are this creature's rival because of what you did and we know it, all of us."

They walked up a set of stairs, and Riani blinked at the sight of Leliana where they had stopped, a mighty sword held out in the palms of her hands. 

Riani was confused at the display, of why they were here and for the purpose of Cassandra's rousing speech. 

"The Inquisition requires a leader, the one who has already been leading it. You."

Riani paled, surely they didn't mean her. 

An elf, a woman that didn't share their faith, the chosen of Andruil. 

That last reason of course they would never know, but it was true all the same. She supposed she shouldn't be too surprised at the turn of events, and if she wasn't so exhausted all of the time she might even have seen it coming. 

She looked out over the crowd that had gathered below where they now stood, all of them staring up at her while she tried to think the surprise off of her face. 

"You all truly have that much faith in me?" She tried to make her voice come out loud and sure, but failed greatly. 

Cassandra smiled at her, "All of these people have their lives because of you, they will follow."

"That wasn't what I asked, Cassandra."

"I will not lie, handing this power to anyone is troubling, but I have to believe that this is meant to be. There would be no Inquisition without you. How it will serve, how you lead, that must be yours to decide."

Riani just stared blankly at the sword that still sat in Leliana's hands as she appreciated the gravity of what Cassandra said. They could accomplish great things, and Riani would make sure of it. She would make sure that their faith was not misplaced in her. 

She reached forth for the sword, picking it up with some difficulty as her ribs were still sore. She showed none of this, as she turned to the crowd below. 

"Corypheus will never let us live in peace, he has made it quite clear that he intends to be a God, to rule over all of us. He must be stopped."

 Cassandra moved to look out over the edge, shouting down below. "Have our people been told?"

Josephine stepped forward, smiling up at her. "They have. And soon, the world."

"Commander, will they follow?" Cassandra continued, as Riani watched dumbfounded. Only coming back to herself to a great cheer of the people below led by Cullen. 

"Your leader, your Herald, your Inquisitor!"

Riani fought to blink back tears at the sentiments of the people below, unable to believe that they all had such faith in _her_. 

She should be no one to them all, she should have died thousands of years ago with the rest of her own people. 

But she was there, living and fighting and building an Inquisition among people of such strength and bravery. She would do what she could to continue earning their faith, she would lead them down the right path.

No matter what stood in their way. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> From this point, expect some canon-divergence, as well as some new characters (and some old ones ;) too ) to come out and play. 
> 
> Skyhold is where my own personal canon likes to go crazy, and my muse isn't letting me stop.


	20. Small Lies

 

 _Da'len,_  
_I would not trouble you normally._

_You have enough on your shoulders, fighting ancient Tevinter magisters while representing your people. Unfortunately, the rifts that plague this land have spread chaos and fear along with them, and many seek to take advantage of it._

_Bandits are attacking Clan Lavellan. The raiders are well armed and heavily armored, and they come in numbers our hunters cannot match. We had settled in a small unclaimed valley not far from Wycome, a safe place with few rifts—but these bandits may force us to seek a new home. If your Inquisition can help, you might save our clan much hardship._

_I've had your chest sent along with this letter, I fear we cannot keep it safe any longer. It belongs with you, and it would pain me greatly to see it lost if we are attacked again._

_Dareth shiral,_  
_Keeper Istimaethoriel Lavellan_

 

 

     Riani read the Keeper's letter as the messenger waited for her, she knew how much it must have pained the Keeper to ask humans for aid.

Her heart ached to go assist her clan on her own, but she did not belong to herself anymore.

She was the Inquisitor.

"Where is the chest she mentioned?" She absently asked the messenger, not taking her eyes from the letter in her hand.

"It was left with the Nightingale, Inquisitor."

She nodded and dismissed the boy before tucking the letter into her coat and making her way to the rookery to make sure it was safe with Leliana. She remembered how much she hated to leave it there with the clan, not because she didn't trust them, but because it contained all of the personal affects she owned. 

She knew Leliana would probably go through it, make sure it was safe before it could make its way to the her. That was fine with Riani, she had nothing to hide. It was mostly whatever weapons she had left behind and her clothing, along with a few trinkets she'd been given by members of the clan. Which of course would be worthless to anyone else, but they were priceless to her. 

 She had wanted to take everything with her when she left, but it would have been a burden travelling with it to the Conclave and Deshanna had talked her into leaving it with them for safekeeping. 

 She burst through the door to the rotunda, where Solas had taken to spending his time but was currently nowhere to be seen. She ran up the stairs two at a time, passing Dorian with a quick smile where he sat with his nose buried in a book in the corner. 

"Leliana?" She spoke while looking around as she made it to the rookery, the woman wasn't in her usual place at her desk. 

 "I am over here, Inquisitor." 

Following the voice across the room, she spotted a familiar chest in the back corner with Leliana sitting at its side holding a dagger.

"Oh thank the Creators, you do have it." The relief she felt was great, not wanting her possessions to be misplaced. "Also, my name is Riani, you don't have to keep calling me Inquisitor."

Leliana gave her a small smile, "as you wish, Riani. I must say that these weapons are quite impressive for a dalish hunter."

What could she tell her? She couldn't give her the whole truth, not really. Even if Leliana was her Spymaster, she didn't know who she could trust to believe her yet. So she would lie, if only slightly. 

"A few years ago, we found an old temple while we were scouting ahead. It was mostly destroyed, and many of the rooms were completely caved in. But there was a chest, this very same chest actually, and several of the weapons within were distributed among the hunters."

"Everything contained in this chest is all I have in the world, and I'm very happy for its return." She held out her hand for one of the two daggers Leliana had picked up, "These, along with the bow I carry now, were my spoils from that trip."

 "Fascinating." Leliana spoke, handing over the weapon to Riani. "Do you know which of your gods this temple was devoted to?"

A flash of sadness crossed Riani's face, "sadly, no. There were murals and writing on the walls, but everything was so old and illegible it was impossible to make out who it belonged to. But it was a great find, all the same."

Leliana hummed in agreement, not giving away what she thought. "I'll have it all moved to your quarters, Riani. Let me know how you would like us to aid your clan, and I will see it done."

Riani nodded before she took her leave, she had a lot of thinking to do. 

She had already ruled out asking Josephine to see what she could get accomplished with words, she wanted to make it clear that the clan was under her- the Inquisition's protection. 

She would either have Leliana send agents or Cullen send soldiers, she only needed time to think. 

 She would have plenty of time to do so, later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for such a short chapter, but I wanted to get something out before I leave for vacation on Tuesday! 
> 
> I'll be spending a good amount of time fleshing out the "Protect Clan Lavellan" quest chain, because I always thought it was silly that the game gives you nothing but a few letters that can end in such horrible tragedy for your Inquisitor, and they spend no time thinking about it. 
> 
> But anyway, thanks for reading! & a happy early 4th of July to everyone in America <3


	21. Andruil's Shadow

_Riani stalked silently through the trees that spread across the expansive grounds of her favorite palace, Anor'ise'melana, bow in hand._

_She had lost sight of the prey she was tracking, a new and yet unnamed creature of Ghilan'nain's, but after several minutes of searching she had picked up its trail again. She was rushing and it showed, eager to best her mistress who was also on the hunt for the animal. The two women had started on opposite ends of the forest, while Ghilan'nain had set the creature free in the center._

_But that had been hours ago, and Riani was getting tired._

_All she wanted was to prove that she was as good as Andruil, that she was just as much a huntress. They had studied under the same legendary, earned nearly identical marks on all of their tests, and spent the same amount of time trekking through wilderness such as the one she walked through now, learning to track and to survive._

_Together, always together._

_From as far back in her mind as she could remember, she was always with Andruil. Her playmate, her companion, her shadow._

_But Andruil received all of the praise, all of the recognition and attention. While young Riani stood quietly behind her, forgotten by everyone. It used to bother her as a girl, happily given up by her parents, to become the shadow of the future Goddess, expendable to everyone._

_She had striven her entire life to be good enough, to be seen, to be recognized by someone for her own talent and her own deeds. She didn't want to only be seen as Andruil's Chosen._

_But she was a grown woman now, and such silly feelings had no place in her mind or in her heart._

_She had everything in the world she could ever ask for, she, like the Chosen of the other Gods, were placed higher than almost anyone one else in Elvhenan. She couldn't find it in her to care anymore about childish emotions- or at least that's what she liked to tell herself._

_She also loved Andruil, with her whole heart._

_That helped ease the sting of always being second place, that Andruil never treated her as such._

_But not today, today she would win._

  _She made her way further into the forest, when she spotted a small glade where the sunlight had broken through the treetops. Confused, as she had never seen this glade before, she quietly approached. The closer she got, she could hear humming. A mans voice, and one that wasn't unfamiliar to her but had no place here._

_She peeked through the branches of the tree that was hiding her from the mans sight, and gasped silently._

_There, standing in the sunlight, painting a canvas and humming to himself was Fen'Harel._

_Riani was enchanted, watching as his long fingers gripped a brush and moved across the canvas with long slow strokes. Why was he here? Had he forgotten what Andruil would do to him if she caught him here? Did he not care?\_

_"You may as well come out, little huntress. I can hear you breathing, you know."_

_She froze for a moment, feeling irritation at being caught. But he was trespassing in their lands, she had caught **him**._

_She moved from behind the cover of the tall tree, stepping into the sunlight where he was already smiling down at her. He was dressed plainly, in a long white tunic and leather breeches. His hair, longer than her own, was done in several braid that started all over his head, and melded into one long braid that was tossed over his left shoulder._

_If she hadn't known who he was, he could have passed for a simple painter passing through the lands. Simple but beautiful, her traitorous mind thought._

_"Why are you here? Do you know what Andruil would do if she caught you here?"_

_"Hello to you too, Andriani of the House of Allerion. Sweet of you to care, but she won't be able to see me here unless I wish her to."_

_She scoffed, " I don't care what happens to you, Fen'Harel. I only wished to remind you of how foolish it is for you to be here in our lands."_

_He continued to paint, calmly speaking without looking at her._   _"Yet I don't see you sounding any alarms, attempting to capture me, or calling out to the Mistress I know is wandering these woods the same as you. Curious, is it not?"_

_She narrowed her eyes at him, irritated that he would not look at her. "Why are you here, Wolf?"_

_He finally turned to her, his eyes boring into her own. "I have been finding it difficult to stop thinking of you, Andriani. Try as I may, you have a constant place in my mind that I have been unable to remove you from since-"_

_"The Masquerade."_

_He nodded, breathing in deeply but saying nothing._

_"You were never supposed to know who I was."_

_"And yet here we are."_

_She sighed, looking up at him. He was at least a full head taller than she was, but she didn't find that intimidating. She saw sincerity and vulnerability in his storm-blue eyes, and was baffled by it._

_She nodded to him and repeated the words, "and yet here we are. I suppose it would be a lie to say that I have not thought of you as well. But we cannot-"_

_"I know."_

_"Then why?"_

_He was quiet, for a time before answering her. "I only desired to see you again, I hadn't thought beyond that. I hoped, I needed it to be enough."_

_"And is it?"_

_She was close enough to him know to breathe in his scent, he smelled of the sun and of herbs and some kind of spice she could not think of the word for. She remembered it from the night of the masquerade, but hadn't realized it until now._

_"No, it is not. We never finished what we started, Andriani. It is a certain kind of madness to never have you, but always have you in my mind."_

_"So that is why you're here? To scratch an itch? To cross me off of your list of unfinished things? I have no interest in this, in being a thing to cross off a list. I am much more than that, much more than something left unfinished by a God who always gets what he desires."_

_He grabbed both sides of her face, drawing her eyes back up to his own after she had looked away._

_"You are, so much more than a thing left unfinished. You are by your very nature, not a thing at all. You are a river that picks up speed as you rush through my mind and wash away all other thoughts in your path. Until all that remains is you, your beauty, your mind, your laugh, and your touch that still haunts me when I am alone at night."_

_"Fen'Harel-"_

_She was cut off in her weak attempt at a protest, by the graze of his lips across her forehead. She exhaled shakily, eyes closed as his lips continued their journey, across both of her eyelids and the tip of her nose._

_He passed over her lips so closely she could feel his breath on her skin, before he turned her head in his hand and kissed a path from the tip of her ear down her neck._

_She was shaking now, as he took his time across her skin, leaving fire in his wake, or at least that was what it felt like. But something nagged at the back of her mind, that this was wrong. A voice, that was somewhat familiar to her, telling her that this wasn't happening._

_The more she thought about it, the more she remembered, and the clearer everything became._

_"Fen'Harel, I'm dreaming aren't I?"_

_The man froze at her collarbone, before sighing and breaking off into a laugh that sounded wrong._

_"You are much smarter than I had hoped. I hadn't even gotten to offering you anything yet."_

_She stepped back from the man, her previous mood all but destroyed. She examined him from head to toe, berating herself for not figuring out sooner that she was dreaming. The copy of Fen'Harel too perfect, too exact but yet more than he was. In a way that only the Fade could manage, and the creatures that dwelled within._

_She sighed, "Desire."_

_The copy of Fen'Harel laughed as it morphed grotesquely into its true form. "Well, you're no fun."_

_Riani crossed her arms, the twisted memory fading away into the raw fade as she stood there with the demon. She had almost believed that it was real, did she truly want it that badly?_

_"Not as badly as he does, that's for certain." The desire demon spoke, in it's own alluring voice._

_"Stay out of my mind, demon."_

_The creature giggled, "I can't help it, so many desires live in you, and you're so loud about it. Repressed and serious, Inquisitor. I almost had you just by playing his dream for you, it was almost too easy."_

_"His dream?" She raised an eyebrow at the demon._

_"Fen'Harel's, of course. From how many times I've seen it play out deliciously, it was easy enough to mimic it for you. I've never been able to trick him either though, you aren't as easily deceived as newer elves. I'd forgotten."_

_Riani found herself blushing furiously, he dreamt of this? Often? It had started out a memory of her own before twisting into something else entirely, how had he known of it?_

_"That I don't know, I only know that he's dreamt it just the same, and a good many times."  The demon leered at her as it spoke, and Riani felt bare in front of it._

_"Yes, well.." She spoke, unable to think of any smart words, "I think it's time for me to wake up."_

_She disappeared before the demon could respond._

* * *

 

Riani woke in her new quarters, which was basically her own tower in Skyhold. It was far too much space after spending so much time in the cramped quarters of a clan, or the small village of Haven. But the large human bed was sinfully comfortable and the view from her balcony made up for it all. 

As she went over the dream in her mind, too many questions rose. Part of her wanted to continue where she left off, and part of her wanted to throttle Solas for it. 

She rose from bed and dressed for the day, before making the descent down to the main hall for breakfast. She waved off the servants in their attempt to serve her, and picked up a plate before serving herself like everyone else had. She didn't want anyone to wait on her, she wanted to feel as normal as she could. 

With a full plate she scanned the tables in the hall, looking for anyone of her companions. Most of them were either early-risers, already eaten and gone on their way, or chose to eat in the tavern. The two people she could always count on being awake and still in the hall around the time she was, were Dorian and Varric. 

She plopped into the seat between the mage and the rogue with very little grace, reaching for the jug of water on the table without greeting either of them. 

"Well someone isn't looking so effortlessly Inquisitorial today. Trouble sleeping?" Varric asked. 

She only grunted before mindlessly tearing up her bread roll into small pieces as she stared at the door to the rotunda. Solas was a dreadfully early riser, so she had no doubt he had already come and gone and wouldn't be walking out of the door anytime soon. Probably just behind it, with his nose buried in a book or working on something to do with the fade. 

She was interrupted in her attempts to bore a hole in the wall beween the hall and the rotunda with her mind, by Dorian's tan hand waving in front of her face. She turned to glare at him, and he smiled knowingly. 

"I don't know why you're smiling at me like that, but you can stop now."

"My my, someone really is in a foul mood this morning. You'll get wrinkles if you keep frowning like that, Riani."

She sighed, "I didn't get very much sleep last night." She raised her glowing hand and wiggled her fingers, "I've become quite the beacon for interested demons and spirits and it doesn't make for the most restful sleep."

"Have you tried speaking to Solas about it?"

Riani lifted her eyes to Dorian, fork suspended in midair from the bite she almost got to take. 

"Why would I?"

"Well he seems to be quite the fade-expert, if anyone could help you hide yourself from curious creatures I'd expect it would be him."

"Oh." She said lamely, returning to her food. "Yes, maybe I'll do that."

She sat there switching between taking small bites of food and staring at the Rotunda door for a while, listening as Dorian and Varric chatted away without bothering to include her, blessedly. 

By the time the two had left for their own duties she realized she was the only one still sitting in the hall, besides the servants who were cleaning and giving her strange looks when they thought she wasn't looking. She reluctantly left the quiet hall through the main doors, thinking fresh air might do her some good. 

She took the stairs down toward where the soldiers had set up makeshift beds for the injured, stopping when she heard arguing from what sounded like Cassandra. 

"-violates everything we know about the Fade." As Riani approached, Cassandra looked up, "Inquisitor, I wondered if Cole was perhaps a mage given his unusual abilities."

"He can cause people to forget him, or even fail entirely to notice him. These are not the abilities of a mage, but of a spirit."

Riani hadn't noticed it was Solas that Cassandra was arguing with, but of course it was.

  _He passed over her lips so closely she could feel his breath on her skin, before he turned her head in his hand and kissed a path from the tip of her ear down her neck._

Riani frowned as it played in her mind, obviously brought forth by seeing Solas and shook her head to clear it. The two continued to bicker as she was occupied by her own thoughts, until she noticed that both of them had stopped to stare at her.

"I'm sorry, what?"

Solas looked at her strangely, and she found herself unable to hold eye contact for very long. She could still feel his lips on her skin, and it was making it hard to concentrate. 

"The Seeker thinks that Cole is a demon, though he is a spirit."

"Yes, I know."

Both Cassandra's and Solas' eyebrows rose at her answer.

"He saved many lives at Haven, and I've a feeling he's still around here somewhere. Though we won't know unless he chooses to make himself known. I for one hope he does, I would like to thank him for saving me, and everyone else."

"If none of us remember him he could be anywhere." Cassandra spoke, frustrated.

Riani looked past the Seeker, as she noticed the boy near the fire in the funny hat. She nodded in the direction she was looking in, before walking away from the two. As she approached Cole he was already speaking, in the puzzling way that spirits, unused to speaking to anyone do. Rambling about the soldiers, speaking of their thoughts and of their pain. 

"You're feeling their pain." Riani said. 

"It's louder this close, with so many of them."

"Would you like to go somewhere more comfortable?" She asked the spirit.

"Yes. But here is where I can help."

Riani silently watched as Cole helped one of the dying soldiers, it was fascinating. It had been a long time since she'd been in the presence of a spirit, and never had she seen one as unique as Cole. He told her of his past, and of how he learned to be what he was. The more he spoke, the more she realized where she had heard him recently. 

"It was you. In the Fade, the voice in my head, you warned me."

"Sincerity in his eyes, yearning for what is dangerous, trembling as he leaves fire across my skin. Not second place to him, worthy, real. Desire used it against you, but you let me help. So I did."

Riani blushed again, not ready to hear her thoughts made real. Especially when she looked past Cole, and noticed that Solas and Cassandra were within earshot and had quite obviously heard everything he said.

She cleared her throat as she turned her attention back to Cole, "yes well, thank you for that. If you're willing, Cole, I could use your help here. The Inquisition could use your help, if you want to stay."

The spirit smiled at her, and she was unable to hold back a grin in return. He reminded her of a child, even though she knew he was probably of an impressive age. 

"Yes, I'd like to stay."

"Good, I'm happy to hear it Cole."

The two spoke more before they were joined by Solas and Cassandra, the former who wouldn't stop looking at her when he thought she couldn't see him. She purposefully avoided his gaze and he knew she was doing it, much to his frustration. 

When it had been decided that Cole would stay, and the spirit had again disappeared from their view, Riani took her leave quickly. Heading toward where Cullen had set up his office, she needed to speak with him.

She could feel eyes on her back as she fled. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Sorry for the long absence, my brain has been stuck in vacation mode.


	22. Everybody Loves Crestwood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Letters between the Inquisitor and Solas before her return to Skyhold.

 

_Inquisitor,_

_Dorian has written to me, and told me of your trouble sleeping. I've enclosed a mixture of herbs along with this letter that should help. If only you had told me of your trouble weeks ago, when they started, I could have handed them to you myself and you would have been more well rested before your journey to Crestwood. But I suppose in order to tell me of what troubles you, you would have been required to speak to me and not immediately leave when I enter a room. Mix them into your tea, and they should help ease your mind for restful sleep._

_Sule tael tasalal,_

_Solas_

 

____________________________

 

_Solas,_

_Thank you for the herbs you so kindly (and not at all passive-aggressively) enclosed in your last letter. They did indeed help me sleep, and I am thankful that you were kind enough to send them. Especially since I, as you say, have been avoiding you so harshly. Crestwood is depressing, unforgiving, and damp. So damp that I am afraid that I shall never be warm and dry again. Dorian has already burned three sets of his robes, saying he will never get the smell out. We met with Hawke's Warden contact today, and after we take care of a few things we should be back to Skyhold within the month and with any luck, will never need to return here again._

_Nuvenan ma son,_

_Riani_

 

* * *

 

"I never thought I'd be so happy to see a fortress in the freezing mountaintops of the middle of nowhere, but we're nearly there." Hawke spoke excitedly from where she rode at Riani's side. "Just as I'm sure Fenris has never been so happy to be out of our company for a little while, even if he had to ride off with your mage."

"It was quite rude of the men to want to scout ahead and be the first ones there, I think we make delightful company."

"That we do, Inquisitor. We can be a tad more chatty then he's used to, I suppose. It's usually just me talking _at_ him, and him grunting or saying my name when he's had enough."

Riani smiled at the woman she'd become so fond of over the last two months of travelling together, "If he was looking for a place where people won't talk to him, Skyhold wasn't his safest bet. Though I'm sure there's an unoccupied tower or two he could use to escape his adoring fans. Varric has made him into quite the hero of some of his stories, there wasn't much else to do besides walk and listen to him on our journey to find Skyhold."

"I hope he hasn't killed anyone, I'd hate to have to run again. I love him with my whole heart, but as you've noticed he isn't the most patient elf."

Well, you can rush in and save him as soon as we get to the gates. Gods willing, we will never have to go back to that place. I've had just about as much wading through swamps filled with living dead as I can take in one lifetime."

"The smell-"

"-Will remain in my mind forever as well, let's not think about that. Let's think of the large tubs full of steaming water I'm going to order sent to everyone's quarters and the copious amounts of wine we'll drink afterwards."

Hawke sighed longingly at that, and the group carried on through the gates of Skyhold. 

The courtyard was full of more people than Riani remembered being there when she left, all of who were staring at her and Hawke as they dismounted their horses. Her advisers were waiting for her of course, and barely had she set one foot on the ground had they advanced on her. She looked around through the crowd of people, feeling Solas in a way she couldn't explain, but not seeing him.

She tried not feeling disappointed at that. 

She listened intently to the trio as they each struggled to talk over one another on their way to the war room, and Riani quickly grew tired of it. 

She had stopped walking a few feet inside the hall, waiting as her advisers continued to bicker and walk forward, not noticing she had stopped until Cullen turned to look at her. 

"Inquisitor?"

"You three have  _one_ hour of my time, before I return to my quarters to bathe and scrub the smell of swamp from every inch of my body and forget I ever made this trip. You may spend this hour talking over one another, and getting nothing done, or you could take turns like adults. It makes no difference to me."

The three of them looked at her and then each other, before figuring out which one of them would go first. When she heard only one voice, she continued to walk toward the War Room. Stopping a servant on her way, to order baths delivered to all of her Crestwood Companions, and one for herself. 

* * *

 

    After spending an indulgent amount of time bathing and washing her hair three times, she emerged from the tub a much happier woman. She magically dried her hair, and decided to leave it in soft waves for once. She wanted to feel like she hadn't spent the past two months on the road. 

Trade had increased greatly since she'd been gone, word reaching most corners of the world of her and her Inquisition. Under Josephine's gentle care and manipulation of the market, resources of all kinds flowed freely into the fortress.

Which meant Riani shared in the spoils, her bathing chamber was now stocked with perfumed oils of all kinds, pots of makeup with different types of brushes for application, and her dressing room had been stocked as well. 

She knew that she would rarely use any of it, but it was nice to have none the less. 

She took advantage of her new items, taking the time to choose an oil she liked the smell of and dab it behind her ears and on her wrists, before also dabbing her lips with a bit of color. It was ridiculous to her that this small amount of self-indulgence felt so luxurious to her, when before she woke in this world she was bathed and dressed and made up almost every morning of her life by someone other than herself. 

After dressing in one of her many new and expensive looking pairs of leggings, and a long cream-colored tunic, she left her quarters and headed for the tavern. She spared a glance toward the rotunda on her way through the hall, aside from the feeling when she arrived today she hadn't seen or felt Solas in months. 

That was entirely her own fault, she knew. She also knew that when she did finally see him again, that he would have questions. Riani didn't quite know how she would answer them when he asked, or tell him it was because of a ridiculous dream that she'd had, or remembering what the demon had said about it being his, and not hers.

That was impossible, it had started out a memory of her own before twisting into the demon's illusion. Solas was never there that day or any other day, and had no way of seeing that place which was never open to him or almost any other Evanuris, aside from Ghilan'nain. 

It was the palace of summer, and it was an almost holy place. The place Riani thought of most when she pictured what home had been to her, and to this day still had pangs of homesickness for it.

But that was not Solas' problem, and she had ignored him over the words of a demon. She would have to explain to him eventually, but not right then. She would wait until she was well rested, when she could pretend she hadn't been repeating that dream almost every night she was in Crestwood in the Fade, and could stop picturing what it felt like to have his lips on her skin.  

 

* * *

 

 

   The mood in the tavern was cheerful, and Riani smiled at the force of the greeting that erupted around her as soon as she had entered. There was a pleasant warmth to the place, and sounds of laughter and smells of food and drink were scores above anything she'd experienced in a long while. 

She was waved over to the large table near the back, where her companions had claimed it as their own barely days after Skyhold's discovery. It was currently quiet, except for Varric's voice, who was telling a tale to the rest of them while Hawke rolled her eyes at him affectionately from where she was entwined in the arms of her love. 

Hawke was different than Riani had initially expected her to be, from the fantastical tales Varric had told. It was obvious he had thought highly of the woman, and so did Riani now. They had bonded over the course of their journey, and Riani would be sad to see her go when their paths separated again. As she watched them she could see the affection that went both ways, and she smiled at her friends. 

"Inquisitor!" Hawke waved her over when she noticed her staring at the group but not coming any closer. "We were just wondering where you were, come! Sit, drink, and then drink some more! I've had a bit of a head-start you see, and you need to catch up with me."

She hiccuped and giggled, but didn't say anything more. Riani squeezed into the open seat between Bull and where Hawke had melded with Fenris, and the qunari pat her on the back and almost sent her flying forward. She narrowed her eyes at him, and he smiled big and genuine. 

"So boss, Hawke tells us you saw a dragon in Crestwood. What was it like?"

Riani rolled her eyes and groaned. "Alcohol first, Crestwood later, if you please."

Varric gestured to the barkeep, who scanned the group until he stopped on her face. From then he rushed eagerly over, obviously not wanting to keep the Inquisitor waiting. She loved him for it. 

With a drink in hand Riani relaxed and listened to Varric's stories for what felt like hours, the deeper into her cups she got the more she found herself leaning over the table trying to see the door and the rest of the room over Bull's hulking frame.

"If you're interested boss, you don't have to keep leaning your body into mine you can just say so. I'm up for it if you are." He grinned at her, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. 

She stopped for a moment then, before elbowing Bull in the side and sitting upright in her seat. She blushed heavily, not realizing she was trying so hard to see the door. Not willing to tell everyone who she was looking for, or even acknowledging it to herself. 

She cleared her throat and finished her drink, using it as an excuse to get up from the table and order another at the bar. The barkeep had a bottle of what she was drinking set off to the side for her, of which she was grateful for. With a fresh drink in hand, instead of returning to her happy group she wandered up the stairs until she reached the top of the tavern. 

Cole was there as she thought he would be, and he looked happy here. 

"Cole, I need to ask you something. But i feel wrong, asking it." She was pleasantly tipsy, and even so she still felt guilty for asking Cole anything about Solas. 

""Memories of your touch and your gaze haunt his mind, twist it into something he can't escape. A dream that is real but isn't. Beautiful and strong, captivating like no other before you. You stir the Wolf, make him remember what it is to be alive. He wants to chase, to hunt. To claim you as his own like he should have before. You change everything. But you can't." He says, pain in his voice. 

Riani stares at him dumbly, only able to take a stuttering breath. "Well, I- hmm."

"You didn't ask, so you can't feel guilty for knowing."

"I- yes, thank you Cole."

She didn't know what she expected, really. It certainly wasn't that.

If Cole was right- which he probably was in the way he was right about everyone else's private thoughts and emotions- he had feelings for her, even now. She didn't know how she felt about that, even though she was becoming increasingly aware of her own. 

She had let herself come to care for the man responsible for the downfall of her home and her people. Responsible for his own role, of course. She wasn't stupid or prideful enough to think that the Evanuris didn't deserve what happened to them. Reaching as high as they did, and as far as they did in their greed. 

She had come to terms with their fate, even Andruil's- or whatever fragment that was left of her. Elvhenan was not a perfect realm, far from it. 

But that didn't mean she could fall for the only remaining Evanuris, when deep down in her soul it only felt like betrayal. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sule tael tasalal - Until we meet again
> 
> Nuvenan ma son- I hope you are well


End file.
